Six Key Questions Answered About an Alcohol Free Lifestyle / EP 68

What if the real magic isn’t just in quitting drinking—but in everything that comes after?

Welcome back to the Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast! In this episode your hosts and alcohol freedom coaches Ruby Williams and Susan Larkin get real about what happens after you put down the glass.
From unexpected emotions to surprising wins, they’re sharing the raw, beautiful, and sometimes messy truth about what it really looks like to grow, evolve, and rediscover yourself alcohol-free.

• What do you do when the pink cloud fades?
• How do you keep going when no one else around you is on the same path?
• And—most importantly—where does the joy actually come from?

Ruby and Susan also reveal their brand-new program, Feel Lit 4 Life, created to help you build lasting freedom and find your people on this empowering journey.

If you're tired of the all-or-nothing narratives then get ready for honest, hopeful conversations about what it means to feel fully alive without alcohol—this episode is for you.

Episode at a Glance:
00:38 - Intro: From quick fix to lifelong growth 
02:17 - Why the journey matters 
02:35 - Q1: What was most surprising? 
05:38 - Q2: What was most challenging? 
11:44 - Q3: Where did you feel affirmed? 
15:51 - Q4: What doubts did you have? 
21:33 - Q5: What did you notice most? 
28:49 - Q6: What made it easier? 
32:31 - Final thoughts: Joy, growth, and cycles 
35:45 - How we feel lit now 

Listeners have said that our podcast has helped them get alcohol free! So we created Feel Lit 21, a way for you to press your reset button and take a 21 day break from alcohol. Every day you will receive emails with videos, journal prompts, and the inspiration you need to embrace 21 days without alcohol that feels lit!

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle.

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Transcript

Sick and tired of your love-hate relationship with wine? Welcome to the Feel It Alcohol Free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby . And I'm coach Susan Larkin. We are two former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and more in control of your life. So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel lit alcohol free. 

Ruby Williams [00:00:38]:
Welcome back to the Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast. We are super excited. This is such a fun, joyful topic. You know? The joy is in the journey. I remember the first time I wanted to figure out how to just, like, reset my drinking or just go back to being a normal drinker, And I thought it was about, like, the number of days or maybe a month. Right? Or if I quit alcohol for thirty days, then I can just be a normal drinker. Or if I abstain for a hundred days you know? It was a very, like, diet mentality. It felt like I wanted a quick fix.

Ruby Williams [00:01:16]:
And if I do it, you know, habit change, I used to think it was all about a certain amount of days or months, and then you'd reset. And I could go back to just, like, drinking one glass occasionally. And, you know, this this I I the more and more that I've done I've I'm alcohol free now for five years, and so are you, Susan. And the more I think back to that first year, there was so much joy in the journey. But you almost have to get past the year and then look at that year. But we just wanna talk to you about this joy in the journey and that the path to alcohol freedom is really filled with growth and self discovery and tons of wins. You know, we celebrate with our clients, and it just celebrates all along, like, everything. So it's really not just about reaching that end goal, but about embracing every single step, you know, celebrating the small victories, learning about yourself in the process.

Ruby Williams [00:02:17]:
So, anyway, we came up with six questions that people ask us the most about our alcohol-free journeys, and just we wanna share the answers with you on this pod. So are you ready, Susan? Are you game? I'm ready.

Susan Larkin [00:02:33]:
I'm good. Alright. Let's do this.

Ruby Williams [00:02:35]:
Okay. So the first question is number one. Alright. What has been the most surprising on your alcohol free journey? And think back to that first year. You know? Yeah.

Susan Larkin [00:02:47]:
Yeah. I would say how amazing life is now on the other side of alcohol, you know, now how amazing alcohol free life is. And we've talked about that before on the podcast where I say nobody who's given up alcohol is like, it's okay. It's like, no. This is amazing, which is why we're out here on social media and why we have this podcast. But just how much growth is possible once you ditch ass alcohol, especially around emotional mastery, I think. I think I grew just so much, and I just didn't realize how much alcohol was keeping me down. I think that's the biggest surprise is, like, wow.

Susan Larkin [00:03:29]:
Like, how much it was really keeping me down and how much I grew once I gave it up. Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:03:37]:
Yeah. I'll piggyback off yours because I came up with my answer before we even were hearing this for the first time, but the emotional roller coaster, similar. And in fact, that's why even we named the podcast Feel Lit. I had no idea that my emotions were just like what you said, but, like, this whole such highs, such lows, after I went alcohol free. And I realized that I was numbing my emotions, and I just had no idea. I had no idea how to feel. Yes. And I just let my emotions take over, and now I just have so much more to see, yeah, I think we're similar.

Ruby Williams [00:04:24]:
That one, we got kinda similar. I didn't realize it. But it's so true. Like, I just had no idea. Yeah. And that was so surprising to me that I mean, might as well call this the learning how to feel journey. Well, yeah.

Susan Larkin [00:04:39]:
I think when we're drinking, a lot of us are just on autopilot. I felt like that. I felt like I had no I felt like I remember even saying this to my husband. I'm like, I'm like a board. I just have no feelings. I'm just numb. And if I feel stress or anxiety, then I would drink over that. But any feeling I didn't wanna feel, I would drink, and then that and as we say, if you numb the bad feelings, you also numb the good feelings.

Susan Larkin [00:05:01]:
And so I was just this flat line. I may as well have been dead, it feels like, really. Emotionally, I was dead. I was flatlined.

Ruby Williams [00:05:10]:
And I hear some of the clients say they're like zombies. Yeah. Like, I hear that word be yeah. Or autopilot or robots, and it is yeah. Flat. I like that. Yeah. Flat.

Ruby Williams [00:05:22]:
So that's what we think for what has been most surprising. We both kinda came up with something similar, which is interesting. Okay. Question number two. And I'll go to you first, Susan. What has been the most challenging on your alcohol free journey?

Susan Larkin [00:05:38]:
Well and the thing that kept me stuck for a really long time was I didn't wanna be different. Right? And I thought that there was something wrong with me, and I thought that I wasn't normal if I couldn't drink. And so it was very challenging to decide to make this kind of different radical choice to not drink. But once I learned the science about how alcohol affects your brain and your body, which we've talked about so many times on this podcast, and I think it was in honestly, when I was being coached hearing there's nothing wrong with you, your body is reacting normally to an addictive substance, then I was just able to let go of that belief that was keeping me so stuck and that fear. It was really fear of being different. I don't like being different. You know, you wanna be accepted. Right? And then that just enabled me to let go.

Susan Larkin [00:06:35]:
So yeah. And then I wanted to add. And now the challenging thing is just the ignorance, I think, of people, like, just assuming that everyone drinks or everyone should drink.

Ruby Williams [00:06:47]:
Mhmm.

Susan Larkin [00:06:47]:
And it's weird if you don't. And not you know, that just bugs me. So I guess that's a little challenging. It's like a pet peeve. You know?

Ruby Williams [00:06:57]:
Well, now we know so much as coaches. Yeah. And we've made this our life, you know, coaching people. So True. Yeah. So I would say the most challenging thing when I think back to that first year was telling people and being honest. I didn't tell many people. At first, I well, I told you in the beginning of this that I was, like, gonna only be alcohol free for, like, thirty days, so why tell anybody? Or I think I had kind of a dry January.

Ruby Williams [00:07:25]:
So that was an easy way to to just say, I'm doing a I'm trying a dry January. But since I worked in the wine industry for twenty years, I mean, it was, like, I told you before, it's, like, a part of my identity. And so telling people, I felt like a hypocrite. Like, wait. For the last twenty years, I worked in the industry, promoted it, hyped it up, posted social media with my wine glasses, wore t-shirts that said ‘rose all day’. I mean, you name it. I did it. So I felt like, well, how how can I change change my identity? And now what? I'm supposed to say, I'm not gonna drink? So I came up with some really cool we call it our elevator pitch.

Ruby Williams [00:08:05]:
But once I was working with, you know, some people and getting help and, like, really honing in that elevator pitch, which for me was, I'm on a keto diet. Mhmm. So I can't drink alcohol because I'm on a keto diet. And that worked fairly well because I didn't have to say I had a problem. It was really like a health issue, right, a health issue. But then when I finally wanted to get honest, it unfolded over, really, over the entire year. I would, like, reach out to one friend. And one kinda one at a time, I started telling my siblings, my friends.

Ruby Williams [00:08:45]:
But that was very challenging for me because, well, it's about once you share, it kind of releases that shame, but it is difficult at first. Mhmm. You know? And then I think but my parents were the last people that I told. And I just because I always wanted to, like, be the good girl, right, or do the right thing, and this was admitting that I had a problem because I did have a problem. So if so yeah. So that was very challenging, just to be honest, because even some people were like, but I don't think you have a problem, or I only saw you, you drink a couple glasses at parties, but they didn't know the whole story. And that's the thing that's interesting is nobody knows the whole story unless they live with you. Or even when they live with you, we hear from our clients that they are hiding it from their spouses, their children.

Ruby Williams [00:09:36]:
So, yeah, it's like, yeah, maybe I went out, and you only saw me drink a couple glasses, but I came home and drank bottles.

Susan Larkin [00:09:45]:
Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:09:45]:
So yeah. Yeah. But that was challenging, but definitely doable. And having a coach can really help. Like, we can help you with, you know, coming out alcohol free if you want to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Larkin [00:10:00]:
I agree with that. It was hard to tell my family too, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. To feel like I was disappointing them or something. I don't know why I felt that way. I was worried that I would make them feel bad. Like, they can drink, and I and this was my choice, and I really made a huge point in making sure that they didn't think I was judging them.

Susan Larkin [00:10:22]:
That's what I was more worried about, I guess. Me too. And I do remember showing my mom my website because this is after because I got alcohol free during COVID, and so I didn't see my parents. That first Christmas, we had to cancel, and so I didn't see my parents until I was already a year and a half alcohol free or over. Yeah. And I'd already started my coaching business or was in the coaching program, and I showed them my website. And my mom just, like, read like, just was silent. It just took so much time reading because of my stories in there and everything, and she didn't really say much.

Susan Larkin [00:10:59]:
So yeah. But by then, I'd been pretty on my way. It was a pretty solid choice. So yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:11:04]:
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Did I tell you that my mom sometimes listens to this podcast? She does. And I'm like, you do.

Susan Larkin [00:11:12]:
That's so awesome.

Ruby Williams [00:11:13]:
I know. So what if what did I say about her now? I'm like, hey, ma. Hi, mom. Hi, ma.

Susan Larkin [00:11:19]:
My sister listens, and it's so funny. Here's the comments I get from my sister. What are you doing with your hair? She must be watching it on YouTube.

Ruby Williams [00:11:27]:
Oh, yes. There are challenges. And, again, coaches and communities can help you through that. Yeah. Okay. So the next question, really fun one, where have you felt really good and affirmed on your alcohol free journey? Like Oh,

Susan Larkin [00:11:44]:
well, I guess in my spirit, you know, like, I think this is gonna bring tears to my eyes because I think being able to look myself in the eye every morning, every night before I go to bed, like, I don't have to hide from myself anymore, and I don't have to hate myself. So that's huge. Right? I'd written something you know, I kind of had planned some of my answers, but that's Yeah. Coming to me right now. I feel good about myself. And I remember starting to feel good about myself in that first year, and it felt uncomfortable. I was like, am I conceited? And that's such a high school word, but it was like, feeling good about myself didn't feel normal because I was so used to hating myself and and and being feeling bad about myself and, like, starting to feel good about myself was a beautiful beautiful part of this alcohol freedom.

Ruby Williams [00:12:43]:
Is it? Yeah. Yeah. I can totally relate to that because I remember every time I had been drinking that, like, 2AM, if I woke up, on the you know, I was on the couch and then went over, stumbled over to the bathroom mirror. And I remember just, yeah, hating myself, look and I looked horrible, like makeup or just bags under the eyes, just, like, just mean, mean, mean thoughts to myself. Mhmm. And that is so true as you it's it unfolds again. I love the word unfolding in a journey because it's like you can start to, like, practice it. Like, oh, can I smile at myself? Can I look at myself? Can I give myself a high five now? You know? And actually say, oh, I'm losing weight.

Ruby Williams [00:13:27]:
I'm looking good. My skin's looking better. You know? Yeah. I wanna answer this question with, like, vibes, like, the positive vibes because I kid you not, Susan, like, when I was started, like, three months alcohol free, six months alcohol free, people, and they still do today, will, like, go, Ruby. Or no. They don't even know me. Like, hey. You got such good vibes.

Ruby Williams [00:13:53]:
Well, I live in California, so I do get that. But, I mean, just this people notice, like, that I really get good affirmations from other people, and that must be because I'm giving off, like, good vibes, happiness, joy. Because once you start experiencing that, truly, you give off different vibration, different energy. You're moving around the world in a different way, and people notice. And I notice, and people note it. People, yeah. I just look younger, but that feeling of where I think I'll say where I experienced true joy or true belly laughs, like, they're like yeah. I love those.

Susan Larkin [00:14:35]:
I love that. Yeah. It's like your gold is shining through. It's like Mhmm. This alcohol was like this mud or this dirt that was over all of us. And as we're wiping that away, like, our goal, our true authentic self starts to shine through, and that's beautiful.

Ruby Williams [00:14:49]:
It's a beautiful thing. Yeah. Yeah. And another example could be, like, I used to go shopping, and, oftentimes, I was buying wine at the grocery store or liquor store, wherever I was, and I would look down, wouldn't engage. Oh, yeah. Like, like but now I'm like, oh, hey. Hi. You know? So nothing to hide.

Ruby Williams [00:15:11]:
Nothing to hide here. Yeah. I think I would think, oh, do they do they must know I'm an I used to think alcoholic because I'm buying wine every day. You know? But now I have nothing to hide. Just like when I drive in my car, oh, hey, cop.

Susan Larkin [00:15:27]:
Pull me over.

Ruby Williams [00:15:27]:
You could pull me over because I am not. I'm gonna always do zero on the breathalyzer. Yeah. Okay. That was a fun one to answer because that's about feeling good and affirmed on this journey. Okay. So yeah. Go to another one that's maybe because this is good to talk about both, but where have you had questions or doubts along your alcohol free journey? Oh, lord.

Ruby Williams [00:15:51]:
Well,

Susan Larkin [00:15:53]:
2019 is when I started my journey, and I didn't completely go alcohol free until 06/01/2020. And all of 2019 was questions and doubts and knowing I felt better, knowing and you know, that I felt better without alcohol, but still questioning whether that was, like, a you know, let that what I said before about not wanting to be normal, you know, not wanting to feel like I had a problem. You know what I mean? And still trying to get back to normal, get back to being a normal drinker and questioning, you know, questioning everything. Mhmm. But I learned so much during that. So I would bring that up or I mentioned that because I think that that's part of the journey for many, many people is it's a stop and start and stop and start. And why am I not getting this? I was plagued because I was in a group, and a lot of people were all already alcohol free. And I'm just like, what is wrong with me? Why can't I just jump on the bandwagon? Why do I keep wanting to keep this in my life? Why do I, you know, why am I fighting it? And it felt like I was fighting it.

Susan Larkin [00:16:59]:
You know what I mean? And beating myself up and wondering what was wrong with me. And so, yeah, I had a lot of questions. Once I finally made the choice, I still didn't say forever in the beginning, but as then I progressed and just what I say is let I let go of both worlds. You know, I've really let go of alcohol for a significant amount of time and said, you know, I'm really going all in. I call it going all in when I talk with clients. And then it was just like, you know, it kind of exploded, and the positive vibes, as you say, started, you know, positive energy. And, yeah, I just started flying at that point. So but that whole period of two thousand nineteen was necessary in order for me to probably, in my opinion, make the progress I did once I did make the big decision of completely letting it go because I had a lot of experience already.

Susan Larkin [00:17:58]:
Mhmm. I had a lot of experience. I had many. That's what I tell people, don't lose your alcohol free days. You've learned from all of them. Mhmm. And they all add up. And, you know, because people would be like, wow. You just, like, stopped drinking? And, like, and I'm like, oh, no.

Susan Larkin [00:18:13]:
This ain't my first rodeo, girlfriend. You know? It's like, oh, no. No. So, you know, like yeah. But I did at one point at some point, you do finally make that decision to stop. You know? And then And when it actually kinda sticks. Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:18:30]:
Like, you might make that decision multiple times, but then there's, like, this point. I think I did too. There was, like, a point where there was a it was, like, a different commitment, I guess, a different I or I was gonna give it a real try. Right? Like, I was gonna like, no matter what, this is it. Yeah. So no. I really relate to that, and I also agree that having those doubts is part of the journey. Again, and and you can look back and go, there was joy in that.

Ruby Williams [00:18:58]:
Well, maybe joy is a wrong word with these doubts, but, like, you can see the gift in it, I guess, might be the better way to look at it. So I had all kinds of, like, questions and doubts, and and what we call this when we're coaching is, like, awareness, like, beliefs or thoughts. And so one of them was, I need alcohol to go on a date. And I Yeah. That was a bit like, how am I going to go on a date? And even if you're married or or single, how will you go on, like, a date night or I mean, this I hear this from clients all the time. How am I gonna go on a date night alcohol free?

Susan Larkin [00:19:37]:
Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:19:37]:
And I worked on this for months and months. I remember the first time I was so angry. I'm like, I guess that means I can't ever go on a date. Oh my god. You know? You go to the extreme. The extreme. Oh, I can't forget it. There's no you know? And if there's no dating, well, that means I'm never gonna find a life partner, and that means, oh, I'm now I'm just gonna be a single old cat lady.

Ruby Williams [00:19:59]:
You know? You go all the way to the end or whatever. Catastrophizing. Yes. But I wouldn't be a single old dog lady. I'll tell you that because I got my bagel. But, like so I really started to explore, look into it, and I literally now believe the exact opposite. And there is joy in this, like, coming up with the turnaround. We call it a turnaround where I mean, how would I ever go on a date drinking? I mean, you're not your real self, and I want to date someone who has made this decision too, like, and really values health and lifestyle and wants to live in this place where we feel our feelings and this excellent lifestyle.

Ruby Williams [00:20:43]:
So, yeah, how would I ever not, I mean, how would I, how would I not be alcohol free? Like, I wanna be alcohol free on a date. So it's literally the opposite.

Susan Larkin [00:20:53]:
Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:20:54]:
So this is the kind of thing we can do for you. Like, you might believe something and have these, like, questions and doubts, but we can turn them around, and we can help you with that. So yeah. For me,

Susan Larkin [00:21:05]:
it was, like, special events, which would be a date night, like, with my husband. Fancy restaurants, special events, vacations.

Ruby Williams [00:21:12]:
Yeah. How can you? Yes.

Susan Larkin [00:21:13]:
The last domino to fall. Yeah. It was like, oh, that's the only thing you need to do.

Ruby Williams [00:21:18]:
Yeah. Yeah. So we can help you. So, okay, next question. What have you noticed most so far in your journey? And, again, we're talking, like, the first year or two. Like, when you look back at your journey, what did you notice the most?

Susan Larkin [00:21:33]:
When did you start this time?

Ruby Williams [00:21:35]:
Okay. What I've noticed, and I cannot believe this because I needed alcohol every single day. I couldn't even have, like, a one day alcohol free. I can't think of it for years and years and years, but I do not want it at all. That's what I've noticed, I mean, the most is, like, I have no desire. There's just no desire to drink alcohol. Like, that is mind blowing to me. I don't even know how I can convey it more than that except for I have no desire.

Ruby Williams [00:22:05]:
But I'll add one more. Like, I love my sleep. I mean, that's one of my reasons. I thought I was a bad sleeper from childhood through school and high school. I mean, I would say I was not a good sleeper. I had insomnia, and I couldn't sleep well. Definitely, when I was drinking, I would wake up at, you know, two or three in the morning. But sleep, that, I just I never thought just like I never thought I would have no desire for alcohol, I I always thought I'd be a bad sleeper, and I'm a good sleeper for the most part.

Ruby Williams [00:22:40]:
 I mean, Hey. Life happens and sleep issues happen, but I would say 90% of the time, I sleep very well and, and can dream, and I just feel so refreshed in the morning. So, yeah, that's what I want to say I noticed. What about you?

Susan Larkin [00:22:56]:
Awesome. Yeah. Well, the no desire thing is pretty amazing, isn't it? Like, to think that I can sit opposite my sister, let's say, or anyone, and they're drinking, like, whatever would have been my favorite wine, and I don't have any desire for it. That just blows me away.

Ruby Williams [00:23:15]:
Me too.

Susan Larkin [00:23:16]:
You know? Because at first, you think you're just gonna have to hide out, right, and, like, never go around, go around it or anything. But I think the thing that I noticed the most is how not drinking literally uplevels every area of your life. I mean, it's not gonna solve all of your problems, but as they probably solve 98% of them. You know, half the problems you're saw you're causing with your drinking, but, I mean, no. I I would say, you know, because I didn't have any life I didn't have DUI or any, you know, any circumstances that really, caused me, you know, this big burning platform if you need to stop drinking. But it's amazing how just better every area of your life is. My marriage is better. My emotional set point is higher.

Susan Larkin [00:24:08]:
I feel joy. Everything I do is just better. My relationship with my children is better. My relationship with myself is better. My relationship to work is better. Yeah, just everything's better.

Ruby Williams [00:24:24]:
I'm going to be okay. You get that. That's good, I know. Well, all of these answers have been great. Yeah. But I can totally agree, and I say that all the time. Like and and we can go with my sleep first. Like, when you have better sleep, yeah, then you wake up refreshed. Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:24:41]:
You're gonna lose weight because you lose weight when you sleep. You're gonna have more energy, then you're probably gonna exercise more, so you're gonna feel, like, stronger or more flexible. Again, you look better. So you're leveling up your looks. You're up-leveling how your body functions. You're up-leveling and my hair got thicker. It was very thin and wispy and kind of funky looking for a lot of years. 

Ruby Williams [00:25:04]:
And now it's, like, back to how it used to be when I was younger, which is thick, and it feels good, you know, and looks good.

Susan Larkin [00:25:12]:
Yeah. Well, speaking of hair, and this is something I don't think I have shared on the podcast, if I had had because I'll say I don't do it anymore. It's called a body based behavior thing that I've had since probably childhood because I used to pick the hair off my little teddy bear. It's called trichotillomania. In

Ruby Williams [00:25:33]:
a certain spot?

Susan Larkin [00:25:34]:
This is something that's so interesting because I didn't even notice it. Like, my whole alcohol free journey, I'd be getting to a certain place, and all of a sudden, I'm like my I had a little bald spot, and I had a little place that had, like, short hair because the hairs would grow back in, and then I'd pull them all out because those were the ones that I just would concentrate on. And all of a sudden, I was like, wait. My little place that had, like, short hair was now longer, and I wasn't pulling my hair out anymore.

Ruby Williams [00:26:01]:
That's amazing. Isn't that amazing? And you don't notice it until later. So, like, when we say joy is in the journey, oftentimes but we want you to to experience the joy during the journey, but you also notice it. Like, a year out, you're like, oh my gosh. So many like, I have

Susan Larkin [00:26:18]:
a client anymore.

Ruby Williams [00:26:19]:
Yeah. And I have a client who used to have horrible migraines, and I think she's about ten months alcohol free right now. And it's like, oh. She's like, maybe once a month. You know? She's still getting them, but so rare. So and and I used to have this, like, on my head, speaking of head, like an injury on my head. I'm kind of embarrassed to share. I don't think I know if I've shared this on the podcast yesterday either.

Ruby Williams [00:26:42]:
We're sharing our deep, dark secrets. But I used to store my wine up, you know, above the stove. There would be these higher cabinets. Well, I would store my wine up there, but because I was going and getting another glass all the time. Eight times in a night or something, I kept bumping my head in the same spot for years, multiple times. And so it's finally healing, and I'm five years alcohol free. But that's how long this healing journey is. It is kind of a long journey. Yeah. Wow.

Ruby Williams [00:27:19]:
That's so interesting. Isn't that interesting that it took this long to Mhmm. I can still feel the spot.

Susan Larkin [00:27:24]:
Well, I think for me, because of trichotillomania, it's a mental illness or disease or whatever. I don't know. But it's because I was in this numbing mode. I'd be numb, and then I wouldn't even know when we said being, like, in a trance or on autopilot, I wouldn't even know that I was doing it. And because I would

Ruby Williams [00:27:44]:
yeah. Pumping your ears. It would just bunk, and then I would be, like, have a bloody spot every day. Yeah. It was weird.

Susan Larkin [00:27:52]:
Oh my god.

Ruby Williams [00:27:53]:
I know. Yeah. So okay.

Susan Larkin [00:27:56]:
Well, speaking of, like, being worried about telling people or our parents things when you were saying that, I'm thinking, like, everything's out in the open now.

Ruby Williams [00:28:05]:
It's like, oh my god. So hey hey, mom. Now you know. Okay. Which is good because, really, vulnerability kills shame, and I'm okay with sharing all these things. Because if I can relate to you or any of the listeners, not so you're not so alone, if something like this is happening to you, you're not alone. So it helps give people hope.

Susan Larkin [00:28:25]:
Yeah. That's what I want. Yeah. And that

Ruby Williams [00:28:27]:
our bodies heal, our brains heal, and we can uplevel our lives in every single area, as Susan just said. I love it. Alright. One refrain from drinking, like, when you think back? I would say, for sure,

Susan Larkin [00:28:49]:
during the week. Okay. You know? And then the weekends were harder. Yeah. And now all the time, like, I know it's the key to, like, living my best life, so it's not a it's it's easy now. It's easy when you get those positive feelings. It became easier when I realized, hey, I can look myself in the eye. And, like, that positive energy, you know, it just started to it's like compound interest.

Susan Larkin [00:29:19]:
It just kept compounding. But for sure, in the beginning, the weekdays were easier, and then the weekends and vacations and any special events were the hardest times for sure. Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:29:33]:
Plan for those. I would answer this question. I'm going back to, like, early days, I guess. It was just easier to always have, like, a sparkling water or an n a whatever, n a drink of choice in my hand. It just made it so much easier because I noticed whenever I didn't have it in my hand, like, if I just didn't bring one or I set it down, my hands were empty, People would be, hey. Hey. You need a glass of wine, or, hey. I'll let me get you a drink.

Ruby Williams [00:30:02]:
Or sometimes they might even put a drink in my hand. So I just held on to that beverage, and it made it so much easier, I think. The other thing I would say is, like, switching up like, my witching hour, we call it. Some people have that. It was after work. So instead of that transition time, instead of, like, just transitioning, going home, cooking dinner, and drinking wine while I cook dinner, I went straight from work to yoga class. At least that even just would extend it for a little bit, or I'd have a different transition. So finding that, like, another transition made it easier for me.

Ruby Williams [00:30:39]:
Yeah. So I would go to a yoga class. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Larkin [00:30:43]:
Oh, maybe I didn't get the question right. But, well, for me, I think having alcohol free options Yes. Has helped. So then once I had that, it's like, okay. I can go to any event. Now it's getting better and better. There's things I can order off the menu. I bring my own or yeah.

Susan Larkin [00:31:00]:
And so that I can, you know, have my alcohol free, bubbly, clink glasses if we're doing some sort of celebration and not feel left out or anything. And so definitely having nonalcoholic options has made it a sustainable lifestyle, I think.

Ruby Williams [00:31:16]:
Yeah. And, like, if I go to a concert or some out, like, a venue, I get an NA beer. I never used to like beer because I was a wine drinker, but I actually like NA beers, and it makes me feel like I have a special drink, and especially at a concert or something like a festival.

Susan Larkin [00:31:34]:
Or, like, liquid death. Like, liquid death.

Ruby Williams [00:31:35]:
Oh, I do love that bottle. Yeah.

Susan Larkin [00:31:37]:
My husband, like, really likes these, but you kinda feel like a badass walking around with these.

Ruby Williams [00:31:41]:
I know.

Susan Larkin [00:31:41]:
At first, I thought, what are these? When I see them, I'm like, is that some sort of I thought it was an alcoholic drink, but it's not and they water. Literally water.

Ruby Williams [00:31:50]:
It's the cool part of their marketing because, you you know, you I think you could be like a Hell's Angels motorcycle guy holding holding a liquid death can

Susan Larkin [00:31:58]:
Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:31:59]:
And feel okay. No. But, yeah, those are cool. So, yeah, I just wanna say that, you know, the journey you could think the journey is going to be hard, or you can also reframe it and think it's gonna be easy and just find like, where is it easy to reframe? Which is Easier? Yeah. Easier. And where are you finding this joy in the journey? You know? And, it's really what I've noticed is life work. So I started this recording with, like, thirty days, ninety days, a hundred days.

Ruby Williams [00:32:31]:
But it's now that I'm in it and it keeps compounding, like you said, it's lifelong work that I don't even call it work. It's what I wanna do. It's growth, lifelong growth. Yeah. And, yeah, do you have anything that you wanted to wrap up around the joy and the journey? Yeah. I mean, I know some people hate

Susan Larkin [00:32:48]:
the word journey, but what else I don't I'm trying to think of a different word. I don't know. It is a process. It's a journey, and it's not a straight line. It's not straightened up to the right. You know what I mean? I always talk about it being more like a labyrinth where you're going around and around. You feel like you know, when you're going around in the circle and you feel like, oh, I'm in the same place. It seems similar.

Susan Larkin [00:33:10]:
I'm in the same place, but you're one rung in than you were before. Right? And it's also cyclical. I've been learning about this in a course that I'm taking called Sacred Rhythms, and it's just so beautiful. Like, the spring and this is so interesting. Spring starts at the very tail end of winter. Spring starts in the dark. Seeds are planted in the dark earth. Right? And that's the beginning of our journey where we don't know how this is gonna work out.

Susan Larkin [00:33:39]:
We have all these doubts. We have all these questions, but then things start to grow. Yeah. Then you get into the summer phase, which is work. It's the watering and the hoeing and the you know, all the work to to grow the plants and weeding, and and sometimes you have to thin things out. Like, you can't have every, you know, they're all too clumped together, and so, yeah, so it's hard work. Then you get to a harvest time where it's like,

Ruby Williams [00:34:03]:
oh, you get to enjoy it.

Susan Larkin [00:34:04]:
At a certain point, you're really enjoying- The fruits.

Ruby Williams [00:34:08]:
You enjoy the fruit.

Susan Larkin [00:34:10]:
Yeah. But there's also the winter phase because a lot of times in our alcohol free journey, we also start to find out things that need to die. We need to let go of things, and that's part of the journey too. And so some people do. We get to a hard place maybe after we've been alcohol free for a while, and we're just like, well, what the hell is this about? Because Susan and Ruby said it was joyful and triumphant, and this feels hard, you know, because it's cyclical. So then we go and then but you but the things in the winter have to die in order to make more room for the new growth that's gonna come the next spring, so the next thing that's coming. And so, you know, and sometimes you can be in a spring phase in one area of your life and a winter phase in another area, but it's cyclical. And so

Ruby Williams [00:35:04]:
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I wanted this is such a great opportunity to just mention that we are created, we have created, and we're launching it soon, feel lit for life. So because of this spring, summer, fall, and winter cycle, even when you're alcohol free, you're going through these again and again. It's like it is lifelong work or growth, and it's so great to do it with a community, with some coaches like Susan and I. And no. But it's gonna be so much fun.

Ruby Williams [00:35:37]:
I just wanna slip that in. But this is the time where and you were just talking about gardens, so I think

Susan Larkin [00:35:45]:
This is perfect. I know.

Ruby Williams [00:35:47]:
What do you do to feel lit, Susan, in your life?

Susan Larkin [00:35:50]:
Okay. Well, today, I went out and gardened a little bit. And, of course, we always record these podcast episodes several weeks, sometimes even months, earlier than when they are going to air. And so this is very, very early spring here in the Northeast, and we are having a beautiful sunny day. And so after I ate lunch, I'm like, you know, I just wanna get out there with my feet in the grass, in the sunshine. I just had a little, like, sweatshirt on. I could've taken it off, but I needed to keep it on because I even got snagged by a few things. But wearing long sleeves sometimes is really important, and I just got out there and started trimming things.

Susan Larkin [00:36:29]:
And Lance calls me Edward Scissorhands. I go out there and start trimming and cutting, and then I leave big huge piles around for him to get rid of. So there's lots of piles. But it just felt like I love being out and in my garden and out in the sunshine, and I will plant a garden. It's way too early now. But those first few days when it's starting to get warmer in the Northeast or any cold state, you know if you know, you know. Like, you get out there, like, I didn't even have sunscreen on my face. I was just out there going, pouring on me vitamin d and sunshine, and it just felt so good to be outside.

Susan Larkin [00:37:06]:
I was listening to a podcast and just sort of running around, cutting things down because, you know, it's called spring cleanup, where we clean up all the debris and then get ready for the growth. You can see some of the growth coming up. I found snowdrops. My daffodils are starting to pop their little little green shoots up, and I am just so excited for spring and gardening is like my happy place.

Ruby Williams [00:37:28]:
I've always had a garden. My parents have always had a garden. My grandparents have always had a garden. We are gardeners. And I am always in California, so we can have winter gardens. And Susan's like, what's a winter garden? Yeah.

Ruby Williams [00:37:44]:
The winter garden has broccoli. It can be carrots, and what I have is cabbage and kale and arugula, and lettuce. And I got a whole bunch of those. I'll have to post a picture.
Susan Larkin [00:38:06]:
And we have the bulbs, daffodils, and everything's already blooming.

Ruby Williams [00:38:07]:
Frisias, and I've got all these frisias in my yard. So, yeah, things are blooming. Yeah. I love it.

Susan Larkin [00:38:13]:
It's not officially spring here yet. Spring is when the forsythia, which is a gorgeous plant, a Northeast plant that's yellow, comes out, and then it's, like, vibrant yellow everywhere. And then the blossoms go away, and they turn green, and the daffodils. So it's not spring until those pop out. 

Ruby Williams [00:38:30]:
Well, here's the spring and sunshine.

Susan Larkin [00:38:32]:
Sunshine.

Ruby Williams [00:38:35]:
So this has been such a fun episode to record. Yeah. Nice. We have lots going on. We hope you'll join our programs. We got programs for people curious, you know, there is the Feel Lit 21. We've got programs where we work with you one on one private coaching.

Ruby Williams [00:38:50]:
Both of us have our 1:1 coaching programs, and we have this program we're doing together called Feel Lit 4 Life. So I'm just super excited about that. Yeah. Join our group!

Susan Larkin [00:39:00]:
It's like living an alcohol free alcohol free lifestyle, being in community is so important. Yeah. Because, again, out there in the world, people don't get it. And being around the people who get it and wanna grow and change with you, and we're gonna have so many great sessions and content. So we're excited.

Ruby Williams [00:39:21]:
Planned it all out for a whole year. We are so excited. Alright. Well, thanks for listening. You guys, we just love to hear from you. So feel free to join our Facebook group or our other groups, and we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

Thanks so much for listening to the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show?All you need to do is head over to Apple Podcasts and do two simple things. Leave a rating and review telling us what you think of the show, and in that review, ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol free lifestyle. That's it. Then tune in to hear your question answered live. And remember, do something today that will help you feel lit. Don't forget to get your free feel lit bingo card. Link in the show notes.