Embracing Sobriety After Heartbreak with Rose Clark / EP 60

In this compelling episode of the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast, Ruby and Susan are joined by the inspiring Rose Clark, a courageous mother, wife, and law enforcement officer who shares her riveting journey of overcoming grief and addiction. Having experienced profound loss with the tragic passing of her daughter Catherine, Rose speaks candidly about the struggles of navigating life after such a devastating event and how alcohol initially became her crutch. 

Rose’s path to sobriety was ignited through self-reflection and a plea for guidance from her daughter. Her transformative journey led her to start a local grief group called Collateral Beauty and become an advocate for overdose awareness. Tune in as Rose discusses the importance of self-compassion, the pivotal role her daughter continues to play in her life, and her commitment to sharing hope and healing with others experiencing similar challenges. 

Discover the immense strength she found in sobriety and how she channels her energy into supporting others, creating community, and nurturing a life filled with gratitude and purpose.

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Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Transcript

Sick and tired of your love-hate relationship with wine?
Welcome to the feel it alcohol free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby Williams. And I'm coach Susan Larkin. We are two former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and more in control of your life. So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel lit alcohol free. And don't forget, grab a copy of our wine free weekend guide after the show.

Susan [00:00:17]:
Hello. Hello. Welcome back to the feel lit alcohol free podcast. We are so happy to be here with you today, and we have an amazing guest. We are so excited to welcome Rose Clark, and I'm gonna read a little bit of Rose's body.

Susan [00:00:55]:
And we're gonna jump right in to hearing her amazing story and all the amazing things she is doing in this space. So Rose Clark grew up in nine countries across The Americas. So you moved a lot.

Rose Clark [00:01:09]:
Yeah. I did.

Susan [00:01:10]:
Yeah. She's a mom of five children and a grandma to three and currently happily married to her wife of thirteen years, and she's living in a small town in Texas where they are raising their grandson and a foster son. Rose started her career in law enforcement at the age of 40, and she is certified as a hostage negotiator, mental health peace officer, basic instructor, field training officer, and currently works as a corporal in the patrol division of the sheriff's office.

Susan [00:01:43]:
She has a new career starting at the age of 40, which I want to jump into more when we're talking to you. So she is into health, fitness, and meditation, and Rose is in the process of writing her life story. She also runs a local grief group called Collateral Beauty, and she's an advocate for overdose awareness and speaks and shares openly about her sober slash grief journey. I love the name of your group.

Rose Clark [00:02:11]:
Thank you.

Susan [00:02:12]:
So wonderful. So just tell us other than your, you know, esteemed bio, tell us a little bit about your background and a little bit about your sobriety journey.

Rose Clark [00:02:26]:
Okay. Well, like you said, I got into law enforcement at the age of 40. After I got divorced and my children were older, I decided to kind of, hey. It's my turn to do something with my life and, you know, for myself. I used to manage a foster teenage girls program for, like, a nonprofit when I was raising my kids, and I just kinda was led into that field. Put myself through the academy, and the rest is history.

Susan [00:02:50]:
Amazing.

Rose Clark [00:02:51]:
Yeah. It was quite a challenge, but I feel grateful that I did it now. I love doing it, and it's been very rewarding. I got sober in response to my grief, right, and to how I was dealing with my grief. I don't know if I should kind of give a little backstory on that. Is that okay? Or

Susan [00:03:11]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Rose Clark [00:03:12]:
Yes. Okay. So like I said, I'm a mother of five children. My oldest daughter, Catherine, struggled with mental health, you know, and then was subsequently led to addiction later in life for her. She's a beautiful and incredible human, and she had two children. I fought alongside Catherine when she became addicted to heroin and methamphetamines. And, of course, as a parent, that's just like your worst nightmare. Right? You're like, oh my god.

Rose Clark [00:03:39]:
What? And I wasn't educated enough that I wish that I had been more educated in that field, but with mental health and addiction, which I am now. But I fought alongside her and, you know, in and out of the rehabs and doing all the things that a parent does that there's a mother of two and loving an addict. And so her battle was very fierce and short, lived about two years long. And then in November of nineteenth of twenty seventeen, I got the call that no parent ever wants to get, and the homicide detective called me and said, you know, your daughter's overdosed. She was dumped in an alley. And Oh, okay. We found her twelve hours later. You know? And it's just like, what? Like, I get emotional talking about it, but, of course, all my hopes and dreams.

Rose Clark [00:04:30]:
Like, I believe she was gonna be the one oh, she's gonna make it. You know? I know she's gonna be the one that makes it. And to just how all of that shattered and ended like that, and with that was just I mean, my world went black. Right? Like, I lost all hope in life. And I had only recently started my career in law enforcement. You know? So it was all just a lot to take in. And so even though I've been drinking for twenty years, I mean, it was just part of my life. Right? Like, going out, happy hour, you know, the usual drinking.

Rose Clark [00:05:00]:
After my daughter died, it became my lifeline. You know? That's how I started to deal with my grief. It was so incredibly painful, right, to lose a child. I never could have imagined the pain that it was, not only emotionally, but physically too. And I still had to be a high functioning person still. You know? So, like, every night, I just drank until I basically drank myself to pass out. You know? I called it going to sleep, but really, my wife's like, you passed out. You know? It sounds clastier when you say I feel so much asleep.

Rose Clark [00:05:32]:
But, like, that's just what I started doing, and then I would wake up and have to go do all the things and be superwoman. And so the doctor prescribed me Adderall, which I became addicted to as well. I had never been diagnosed with ADHD or anything like that. You know? It's just I started taking it because it gave me fake joy, you know, and fake energy and everything else. And then I had so much anxiety, not only from the grief, but from the Adderall that I started vaping and smoking, and it just became like this insane cycle that I was in. Right? And nobody around me except for my closest people knew that I was really actually imploding. You know? Like, I was not okay. And as an officer, you're not gonna just be like, I'm not okay.

Rose Clark [00:06:15]:
You know what I mean? You're supposed to be the strong person and the person that's saving everybody else. And right now, I'm not doing too good. And I can still continue in that cycle for almost three years. I did remove myself from the street for a while and went to work at a school because I just needed time to process my grief, you know, and I knew that I wasn't in a good place. And I started to feel actually, start to feel physically, like, not okay. I started to get worried. Like, I started to look things up, like, how much is too much to drink and, you know, all the things that we started doing because I started physically, like, feeling like something bad's gonna happen. You know, I'm drinking too much.

Rose Clark [00:06:51]:
I'm smoking. I'm doing all these things. And I just knew that I couldn't justify that to my children to tell them like, hey. Sorry. I didn't make it. You know? Because I didn't care enough to stop what I was doing. You know? All I cared about was my own pain. And, you know, I just just to make it shorter, I I, you know, I went outside one day and I said, Catherine, I, like, I don't wanna make it.

Rose Clark [00:07:16]:
I don't wanna live. Like, I wasn't suicidal. I just didn't care anymore. You know? And I just said, but I know I have to. I have to make it. I mean, I have your kids to raise, and I've got other kids, and you have to step in. I mean, no one else is coming to save me. You know? I had to save myself, and I just asked her to help me.

Rose Clark [00:07:34]:
And, you know, I speak to Catherine now. It's kind of like my higher power. You know? She's just I anyway. So then the next day, I really didn't know what I was gonna do. I had no plan, but I said I'm gonna start some sort of health journey. I'm just gonna do something to make myself get healthy. I can't I can't I don't wanna keep living if it's gonna be like this. It is miserable.

Rose Clark [00:07:55]:
You know? And I don't wanna do it, so I'm gonna find a way. And I went plant based from one day to the next. I just the next morning, I said, that's it. I'm starting my health journey. I, for some reason, decided to go that direction, and I started to feel a little bit better. I still continued to drink because I never imagined not drinking. And I just just couldn't. I didn't even have the concept of actually quitting alcohol even cross my brain except for two weeks into the plant journey, you know, the health journey. I was like, how can I keep pouring alcohol into my body, and I'm over here trying to eat healthy? Like, it's not even make sense.

Rose Clark [00:08:35]:
You know? And I'm and I'm somebody that's really practical. I'm a Taurus. I'm not practical. I don't, you know, live in these alternate realities. So like, that doesn't make sense to me. So I remember the night that I was washing dishes, and I was telling myself in my mind, I gotta stop drinking. If I say it out loud, I'm gonna have to do it because I'm an extremist. I have no balance.

Rose Clark [00:08:57]:
That's why I, you know, drink too much. So I said I just, like, pondered it and pondered it and finally spit it out to my wife. I said, I'm done drinking. And soon as it came out of my mouth, I started crying because I was like, what did I just do? You know? Like, how am I gonna cope without drinking? It's the way I relax. It's the way I do anything. You know? And I knew that was the only way. I knew that as long as I continued to drink, that I would never be able to live in the reality of facing life on life's terms and processing that my daughter was gone. Like, this numbing thing was just not doing anything for me.

Rose Clark [00:09:38]:
I needed to process it. I needed to work through it, and I needed to heal. And three days later, I stopped smoking. So that's kind of

Ruby [00:09:48]:
Wow.

Rose Clark [00:09:48]:
Yeah. Yeah. So I just jumped off all at once. I had no plan. Now I didn't join a program or anything, but I just started meditating and exercising. I had never meditated in my life. I wasn't a huge exercise person, but I just knew that I had to do something, a routine, right, that would keep me on track to be able to help me. And every day, I started writing down day one, day two, day three, and I saw the numbers getting growing.

Rose Clark [00:10:15]:
And for me, that really worked. And I started to, in meditation, connect with my daughter. I set up this space that was just for me. You know? And I would go in here every day for healing. And I would cry, and I would allow myself to feel the pain. And all the regret that I had for, you know, the mistakes that I had made with my daughter and for the self sabotaging that I did to myself. You know? And I had to work through those things, and I had to forgive myself. And every day I started to do that, I started to change.

Rose Clark [00:10:51]:
And I started to actually instead of focusing on the loss, I started to focus on all the time I got with my daughter. Like, oh my god. I spent almost twenty five years with her. Right.

Ruby [00:11:01]:
She left

Rose Clark [00:11:02]:
me with two beautiful children. You know? And I got to be her mom. Like, she picked me even if it was for a short time. You know? I just shifted my thinking. So that's kind of

Ruby [00:11:15]:
Okay. Well, that's

Rose Clark [00:11:16]:
How incredible. Yeah.

Ruby [00:11:19]:
Yeah.

Rose Clark [00:11:19]:
Four and a half years.

Rose Clark [00:11:20]:
So grateful. Yeah. Four and a half years.

Ruby [00:11:23]:
I'm gonna do that.

Rose Clark [00:11:24]:
And it just keeps getting better and better. You know? And I've been able to because of knowing, like, the darkest place that I've ever known coming to this, I just find so much joy in my everyday now and just feel so grateful for sobriety. I know that without quitting alcohol, I would have never been able to get to, for me, get to this place, you know, of of actually finding gratitude and meaning and and and letting go of guilt because I I felt guilty that I was finding myself for the first time, and I had sobriety, and I had these things, things that Catherine had fought for for herself. And I wasn't able to save her. And as a parent, you're like, you have one job and, you know, and then you can't save them. But yet, because of her death, all these things have happened to me, you know, and my life has completely turned around. And now even for the better, it's hard to justify my mind. Right? Like, you're like, at what cost? But I felt my daughter was just giving me permission to be you're doing it for us, mom.

Rose Clark [00:12:26]:
You're like, you're doing it for us. Sorry. I get emotional.

Ruby [00:12:29]:
But Oh.

Rose Clark [00:12:30]:
And it just keeps me going, you know, every day to keep doing it, to honor her. Yeah.

Ruby [00:12:40]:
And there are so many people that are in a similar situation that are drinking because of a loss of a loved one or grief. And it's so true that drinking just keeps you stuck, numbing, and the only way is to go through it, to go through that healing, that process. I love that you listened to your intuition, Rose, and leaned on your daughter and got to the place of gratitude. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing that.

Rose Clark [00:13:08]:
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Susan [00:13:10]:
And, you know, you talked about self compassion and forgiving yourself and how that and we talk about that on podcasts all the time, how that's like the secret sauce of just the release, right, into the into a place of acceptance and then and completely changes your perspective. So that's beautiful.

Rose Clark [00:13:31]:
And I love that you can

Susan [00:13:33]:
connect with her. And I know I know a lot of times, like, for the sake of Catherine or

Rose Clark [00:13:38]:
Yeah. For the love of Catherine.

Susan [00:13:40]:
Yeah. Love of Catherine. Yes. I love that. I love when I see that. I'm just like, oh.

Ruby [00:13:46]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Susan [00:13:49]:
So beautiful. Well, tell me, so what is this so from this, you've created a grief group, which you've called Collateral Beauty, which is a beautiful

Rose Clark [00:14:00]:
name. Something Yeah.

Susan [00:14:03]:
About that. That's an in person local

Rose Clark [00:14:06]:
Yeah. Yes. So right now, it's a local group, which I plan on expanding. Something to be able to do, you know, on a larger scale because I've had a lot of people ask me. But I started it because I knew how I felt, especially early in my grief. You know, my daughter's been gone for seven years now, but especially early in my grief, I felt very isolated. I felt very alone. People get tired of hearing you talk about your loss, you know, or your child.

Rose Clark [00:14:34]:
They're kind of like, okay. We've been talking to you know, the world moves on, and you still stay in this space. Your kid is still gone. You know what I mean? Or whoever your loved one is. And so people tend to say things even if they mean well that just don't make you feel good. You know what I mean? Like, oh, they're in a better place or, you know, they're always just saying things that you see or just like, it's so insensitive, you know, but they mean well. And so I wanted to start something where, you know, people could just be who they were. I know I went to a grief group early on, and it was a religious space.

Rose Clark [00:15:05]:
And for me, I just wasn't in a space of being happy. Like, they were so happy. And I was just like, I'm out of here. I can't do this. You know? And I was not receptive to anything. You know? And I just wanted to make a place where anybody can come no matter where you are in your grief, what your religious preference is, you know, any of it, you can just come and feel like you're not alone. And that's and I also wanted to because I'm in a different space in my grief now and seven years down the road, I wanted to offer them hope that there can be life, and there can be a good life, and there can be joy again. You know, you can find joy again, but it's a choice.

Rose Clark [00:15:44]:
You know? And so I try to lead by example in some of the things that I've done, and that's kind of why I started the group.

Susan [00:15:51]:
Wow. That's great. I really love that so much. And I know you're in some of the sobriety spaces that I'm in. So even though you didn't have support when you were getting sober, how do you feel like being part of the sober community is helping you stay sober? Or I know you contribute too because you speak a lot because like Ruby said, a lot of times people, their accelerator event to propel them from whatever social drinking to over drinking is become because of a loss of a loved one sometimes. Right? And I know that you've spoken in some of these sober spaces as well about your journey.

Rose Clark [00:16:30]:
Yeah. I think it's important to find community. I live in a really small town, so there's not, like, a whole lot of community that's involved. So I got online and then joined a bunch of sober groups, especially early on in sobriety. I flooded myself with podcasts, you know, quick clip books, things like that just to help me, you know, because I am in an isolated area, And that has been so helpful. And just to share my story, I kind of, like, journal out loud, and, you know, I probably share a lot. But, for me, it's just kind of like writing a diary, but I'm excited about recovering out loud because I've had a lot of people reach out to me that feel inspired by my story. And so for me, it's healing at the same time as I, you know, share my experiences.

Susan [00:17:12]:
And yeah. It is. It is. It really is to share. And that's even on the podcast, when we talk about things, it just reinforces, you know, why we're doing this. You know?

Rose Clark [00:17:22]:
Right. Because some people can't recover out loud. You know? They're or they're just it's too hard for them to speak out, but they can see other people doing it like you guys and me and Yeah. And I think it makes a huge difference.

Susan [00:17:33]:
Yeah. Yeah. It does. It does. Well, I'm gonna come back to Catherine, but did you wanna show a picture of her? Because she's so beautiful, and I know that you have her in the air.

Ruby [00:17:43]:
I've got

Rose Clark [00:17:43]:
I've got a small picture of her right here. I don't know if you could see it. Can you? Can you see it? No. Where? Me. Or if not Yes. Number one. Sorry.

Susan [00:17:54]:
No. That was beautiful.

Rose Clark [00:17:56]:
I have pictures and pictures with her and her children too so that they can see it and, you know, keep her memory alive.

Susan [00:18:03]:
Wow.

Rose Clark [00:18:04]:
But yeah.

Susan [00:18:05]:
Well, you're not alone in being a parent that is dealing with children with addiction and to meth and heroin. It's very common, actually, you know, which is right. I mean, we have it in my family, and it's just really hard to deal with. It is really something that, like, you don't feel like you're ever doing a good job, you know, and it's just really hard. What would you say? What would you share with other mothers that have adults or adolescent children struggling with addiction from your experience?

Rose Clark [00:18:42]:
Mhmm.

Ruby [00:18:42]:
Really good question.

Rose Clark [00:18:43]:
Well, it is a good question. You know, first of all, I'm gonna say, while there's life, there's hope. There's always hope. You know? And I always just

Susan [00:18:51]:
Thank you.

Rose Clark [00:18:52]:
Say that to any parent struggling. While there's life, there is hope. And as long as they're, you know, breathing and moving, then don't give up on them. Educate yourself on mental health and addiction and how it's so much intertwined and correlated. You know, I come from a generation being 50 that we didn't really address when I was younger, like depression or things like that. You just could work through everything. Like, there wasn't like, oh, I'm gonna go take a time out for my depression. Like, you just had to keep working and doing all the things.

Rose Clark [00:19:18]:
You know? So I didn't have as much compassion or understanding. I don't think even as much as I tried to understand, Catherine, I struggled with, like, why can't you just do better? Why your kids? Like, what about your kids? You know? And things like that. And sometimes we can tend to not understand them as well. You know? But if I had known more about, like I said, mental health and how addiction works and the brain and everything, I just feel like I could've done better with that. I do believe that I did everything I could do, but that would have been really helpful to have a better understanding of that. And just, you know, don't stop, you know, picking them up when they need to be picked up or buying them groceries. Like, my daughter was homeless toward the end of her journey, you know, because I couldn't have her living here. But, you know, she and I picked her up and I fed her, and I clothed her, and I gave her the necessities.

Rose Clark [00:20:05]:
And then I dropped her off where she wanted to be dropped off, and that's not always possible, but I don't regret those things. I don't regret that I had those times to give her a hug when she was screaming at me and, you know, holding her hand in the car when she was just so high And, you know, just things like that that I'm thankful that I had. You know? And I think it's important to just continue to love them and do everything you can. It's such a hard journey to be on, to love an addict, to watch them being, you know, destroyed by their own addiction, and you can't save them. And yeah. It's hard to be patient, and it's hard to know where to draw the line. And it seems like, you know, you can do all these things, and they won't work or they will. But I think my biggest message is while there's life, there's hope.

Ruby [00:20:48]:
And yeah. Never give up. Offer. Never give up. Never give up.

Susan [00:20:53]:
Yeah. I love that. It's beautiful. I'm gonna pass that along to our family members that are struggling with this for sure. Yeah. It is really hard. Probably the hardest thing. Yeah.

Ruby [00:21:06]:
So There's

Rose Clark [00:21:06]:
a lot of stigma attached to addiction too. You know? And parents don't mind. Oh, let's not talk about it or, you know, but we need to talk about it. We need to be open about it, and it's just that it doesn't discriminate. You know? Catherine had a relatively normal life. You know? I'm a police officer. Like, it 's just you know, it just doesn't discriminate. And Right.

Rose Clark [00:21:26]:
It can happen with anybody.

Ruby [00:21:28]:
Yeah. And I went to outpatient rehab, and it wasn't just about alcohol. It was any kind of addiction, drug related. So I met people you know, I used to think, oh, I'm alcohol. That's like, you know and it is the bad drugs are, you know, the meth and the heroin. But I met these wonderful people, and they're just like me. And that's what I understood so clearly is that addiction doesn't mean it either. There isn't, like, good or bad or it's but it's all it looks it's looked down upon.

Ruby [00:22:05]:
But I changed my view, and I think that was really important for me to actually be around this and realize. And an addiction can move from something light or lighter like a pot addiction to then all of a sudden heroin. And it's the brain that is so complicated that I just don't have the judgment. And then I read the book Dopamine Nation, and it even made me, like, it went into all the other addictions like sex addiction and gambling. And I just have so much compassion for all the types of addiction, and it's not some are better than others or you know? Mhmm. So I I just wanna share that that I have

Rose Clark [00:22:45]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:22:46]:
It really transformed my view.

Rose Clark [00:22:48]:
Mhmm. I love that. Yeah. And I think it's important to keep an open mind on recovery because I know even when Kathleen was, I was like, you're either sober or you're not. You know? And I never was open minded about whether there were other ways to sobriety or, like, medically assisted or, you know, just different things that there are now that I've learned since her passing. You know? And I think it's important to be Mhmm. Open to all different possibilities of recovery for your person. You know?

Susan [00:23:14]:
Right. So Harm reduction.

Ruby [00:23:16]:
Yeah. Harm reduction. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And our methodology really allows you to continue on with the behavior and just start to learn and have self compassion and grace and get curious. So it's not about, like, all or nothing. So I really like what you just said, Rose.

Ruby [00:23:36]:
That really resonates. Mhmm. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Susan [00:23:41]:
That's really amazing. Well, I wanted to kind of as in our little badass woman theme, kind of touch a little bit on, like, you changing careers or going into this career of law enforcement at the age of 40. You said, oh, I went through the economy. That must have been hard. I mean, isn't it really hard?

Rose Clark [00:23:59]:
It was hard. It was a lot harder. Like I said, I've been doing just a lot of different jobs raising kids with my primary thing. You know? So, like, I just worked whatever different jobs, and so I never really had a career in mind. And then I think I met somebody, a female that was a police officer, and it was kind of like it sparked something. I was like, I could do that. And when I moved out to this town, you know, they were hiring, and I said, alright. You know? Eff it.

Rose Clark [00:24:24]:
I'm gonna go do this. And I went and tested out with all these young kids, and I was like, this is embarrassing. And, you know, they have this written test where you have to do it first, and all my stuff is good except math. I'm just, you know, I'm not great at it. And so I was like, okay. I didn't test that high, you know, on the math portion, so it kind of lowered my overall score. So I was so embarrassed, and they would put these jerseys on you, number to where you scored on your written test. So, like, number one to, you know, 25.

Rose Clark [00:24:53]:
It was so humiliating. Right? And I'm not there as an old lady with a number, like, 11 or something. I was just mortified. I was like, I can't even believe I'm why am I doing this? And as their number ones and the two started dropping off in the physical thing, we had to do a mile and a half run and push ups and sit ups and all things that came along. They started dropping off, and I was like, hey. My son told me before I did it, he's like, as long as your feet are still moving, then you're fine. And so that that mile and a half was starting to get long for me at the time, and I was, like, looking down and my feet were still moving because it was a time thing. You know? And I was like, okay.

Rose Clark [00:25:25]:
I'm okay. And, yeah, I was the only person that got hired. Out of all the people that tested it, they only hired me. Yeah.

Susan [00:25:34]:
That's all.

Ruby [00:25:35]:
I'm positive. Oh, yeah.

Rose Clark [00:25:38]:
I got on the ground after they, you know, passed the final thing, and they said, Clark, you made it. And I just cried, honestly, because I was like, oh my god. Because, you know, a lot had happened in my life and just to get to a place of like, okay. I can do this. And, you know, honestly, it's been great to get into law enforcement late in life because I just feel I have so much more life experience, compassion for people from a lot of the things that I've been through. I even carry Catherine's picture in my patrol car. You know? And when I have to make arrests on things like with drugs and stuff like that, it's so hard for me because I know that jail is not the answer for addicts, but sometimes you have to do the job. It can kinda conflict with some of my emotions at the same time I have to do it.

Rose Clark [00:26:18]:
I'll always talk to them about it, you know, and I'll be like, listen. It's either jail or you're gonna die. Like, I give my whole mom's speech. I show them the picture of Catherine. You know? I carry these little bracelets that say for love of Catherine on him and, you know, just kind of overdose awareness bracelets. And sometimes I'll, you know, I'll be like, I'll put one on their wrist. You know? And I'll be like, if you wanna get help when you get out, then give me a call or, you know, I'll try it. And I've had people call me later on five years down the road and say I got sober when I got out because I got sober in jail, and then I got out, and I'm still sober.

Rose Clark [00:26:46]:
And I just wanted you to know that you're sharing your story and did not so, you know, for me, that's just, like, such an impact. You know? It warms my heart. And yeah. So I'm always wanting people to make it no matter what. And I carry homeless bags in my patrol car because my daughter was homeless at the end, and so I always wanna just make sure if I encounter anybody, and the sheriff allows us now to put them in all the patrol cars. And so that's pretty cool, and I get to do that as well. And little parts of her that I get to carry with me everywhere into the job. 

Susan [00:27:18]:
So really good at the job. You're a badass.

Ruby [00:27:20]:
And I love bad ass.

Rose Clark [00:27:23]:
Thank you. It's been cool.

Susan [00:27:27]:
You know what? I mean, obviously, the government and agencies need to do more with mental health and understanding addiction. But, you know, it's down to well, it's this grassroots. It's sort of like the sobriety movement. Right? And alcohol and ending the stigma there. It's people doing this. It's you sharing your stories. You go out there and touch lives and give bracelets and give homeless packets. And all of us, if we all did that, if we all you know what I mean? Then things would change as well.

Susan [00:28:00]:
So we just, it really has to be a person to person thing too.

Rose Clark [00:28:05]:
Absolutely. We can.

Susan [00:28:07]:
I think we're gonna rise up versus it coming from the top down?

Ruby [00:28:12]:
I love that, Susan. Yeah.

Rose Clark [00:28:14]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:28:15]:
Well, it's happening in the sobriety movement. Like, yes. Finally, doctors and people are coming out and saying, yeah. Alcohol is addictive or alcohol is bad for your health even though they've been gaslighting us because more and more people are speaking out about it. And it is, I think, coming from the bottom up. You know?

Rose Clark [00:28:31]:
And Right. Completely fine. So cool. But

Ruby [00:28:35]:
And we're a part of it. Yeah.

Rose Clark [00:28:39]:
Yes. I feel pretty, I feel very cool being sober. I'm not gonna lie. I feel very cool about it.

Ruby [00:28:45]:
We're the cool ones. We're the cool kids. Right? Susan, that's what you say, we're the cool kids now.

Rose Clark [00:28:50]:
All the cool kids are banging on. Let's do it. I agree.

Ruby [00:28:54]:
Yeah.

Rose Clark [00:28:55]:
I feel empowered. 

Susan [00:28:57]:
Well, every person we have on the podcast, of course, agrees. But, also, I just don't know that I've ever talked to somebody who is sober, and we say this a lot, who's like, it's okay. It's like everybody who's sober is like, it's amazing. And so we just want to keep getting that message out to the people who are like, well, they might be amazing for you, but I don't think it's going to be amazing for me. And it's like, yes, it's right. I hear you. You know? So yeah.

Rose Clark [00:29:24]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, it just keeps getting better because you learn how to work through things in a sober way because alcohol's off the table. Right? So you're just like, okay. I gotta learn coping skills that are healthy or some way to deal with these things. And so I think that's been such a game changer for me to learn how to work. Yeah. Absolutely.

Rose Clark [00:29:44]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:29:46]:
Well, so this is the time and speaking of feeling amazing, this is the time in our podcast where we always ask our guests, what do you do in your life that helps you feel lit?

Rose Clark [00:29:58]:
Well, first of all, being sober makes me feel lit because my emotions are just like, they're they're they're chill now. Like, I'm not up and down and all around. I'm like, I'm a little bit good all of the time, and that's just, you know, waking up to that joy every day just feels incredible for me. And I love lifting weights. That makes me feel really strong and lit. Mhmm. It's one of the things that's my favorite thing to do. Yeah.

Rose Clark [00:30:25]:
Oh. Morning. I get up at four in the morning and not get out of my bed and then just enjoy being around my children. They've been taking me on trips, and I'm sober. And I'm just enjoying all of these. They took me to Washington for my fiftieth birthday, and we stayed in a yurt. And it's just finding all these adventures and realizing how much I'm happy, and I'm not drinking, you know, and just joy in the little things. Like, that's what that's what keeps me lit.

Ruby [00:30:51]:
Yeah. The joy in the adventure.

Susan [00:30:53]:
The little things Yeah. And I do love weightlifting too. Women over 50.

Rose Clark [00:30:58]:
Mhmm. Yes. Strong. Yeah. I just felt so good.

Ruby [00:31:03]:
Yeah. I was sharing just with I don't I was at Youseuse with somebody recently. I'm like, yeah. I'm getting guns on the top, but I still have my bat wings on the bottom. I'm like, that's me at 50, and I'm okay with it. You

Rose Clark [00:31:15]:
know? Yeah.

Ruby [00:31:17]:
Yeah. I love that.

Rose Clark [00:31:19]:
Absolutely. Yeah.

Susan [00:31:21]:
Yeah. Let's see. Strong. I yeah. I love it.

Rose Clark [00:31:25]:
Yeah. You wanna get stronger as you get older. I got it. Exactly. Yep.

Ruby [00:31:33]:
And I'll just tell you, Rose, I'm 54. 

Rose Clark [00:31:38]:
Wow.

Ruby [00:31:38]:
The fifties are the bomb, the best, especially being alcohol free. It's, like, the best decade so far ever. Yeah.

Susan [00:31:44]:
I love it. That's awesome.

Rose Clark [00:31:45]:
You look amazing. Your skin's so good and everything. You look beautiful. Go to you.

Ruby [00:31:52]:
You too. You're glowing.

Rose Clark [00:31:54]:
Thank you.

Susan [00:31:56]:
I'm not telling you how

Rose Clark [00:31:57]:
old you are. From the inside. Over. I turned 50. Yeah. I'll be 51 this year. I turned 50 last year, but, yeah, it's so great. You guys look beautiful.

Rose Clark [00:32:05]:
And I just really feel that it's that inner joy that just starts coming out. You know? And also the physical, of course, starts manifesting, but just I wish we could have discovered this sooner. That's all. I'm like, why didn't I discover this sooner? It's just so cool.

Susan [00:32:20]:
I know.

Ruby [00:32:21]:
Well, you discovered it when you were supposed to. You're right.

Rose Clark [00:32:26]:
Yeah. Alright. I was ready. I was ready. 

Susan [00:32:29]:
Yeah. You're ready.

Rose Clark [00:32:30]:
Yeah. 

Susan [00:32:32]:
And that's what it takes. Everybody's timing is different. So but getting the message out there so that more and more people have the information and can be set free, really, especially if they're in a position where they're using alcohol as a coping mechanism for something like grief. Because not only is it gonna help you mentally, and it'll also help physically and being sober, but it'll help you manage and move through that grief in a more positive way.

Ruby [00:33:01]:
Mhmm. 

Susan [00:33:02]:
Absolutely. Feeling way. So where can people find out more about you if they wanna connect with you? We'll put it in the show notes. But, you know, yeah.

Rose Clark [00:33:12]:
I'm on TikTok. I'm on as corporal Clark. I'm on Facebook as Rose Clark, and I'm on Instagram as, I think, maybe corporal underscore Clark or something like that. Okay. My website isn't anything big yet, but I'm working on it. You know? I just feel I feel like it all is coming together as it should. And yeah.

Ruby [00:33:32]:
And you're writing a book. So that's in the future. Right? The book?

Rose Clark [00:33:36]:
I'm writing my life story down, and I'm hoping to get it into some sort of book. I have most of my life story down. It's just a matter of, you know, kind of altogether. But yes.

Susan [00:33:45]:
That's awesome. Awesome.

Rose Clark [00:33:48]:
Mhmm. Yes.

Susan [00:33:49]:
Well, we will put that in the show notes. I'm sure there'll be listeners who will connect with your story and Mhmm. And be honest and yeah. And give them hope. Thank you

Ruby [00:34:01]:
so much, Rose.

Susan [00:34:02]:
Thank you so much.

Rose Clark [00:34:03]:
I appreciate you having me. It's been a pleasure.

Susan [00:34:06]:
It's been so nice getting to know you and getting to hear a little bit more about Catherine.

Ruby [00:34:11]:
Thank you for sharing.

Rose Clark [00:34:13]:
Thank you. Absolutely. Thank you guys for giving me the opportunity.

Susan [00:34:17]:
Okay. Well, if this is the end, we're gonna say goodbye. And, we hope that you will join us in our Facebook group as I saw that you joined Rose. That's another place where you can connect with Rose is in our Facebook group, the Feel It Alcohol Free closed Facebook group. So we'd love to see you over there. Absolutely.

Rose Clark [00:34:37]:
Thank you.

Thanks so much for listening to the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show? All you need to do is head over to Apple Podcasts and do 2 simple things. Leave a rating and review telling us what you think of the show. And in that review, ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol free lifestyle. That's it. Then tune in to hear your question answered live. Don't forget to grab your copy of a wine free weekend at www.feellitpodcast.com
And remember, do something today that will help you feel lit. See you next time!