Unwrap the Magic: Cultivating Joy, Peace, and Connection this Holiday Season / EP 49

Welcome back to the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast!  In this festive holiday episode, hosts Susan Larkin and Ruby Williams answer a listener's question: "Boy, the holidays are stressful. Hosting Christmas Eve, buying and wrapping presents, traveling, then to hear at times I forgot stuff from the kids and the spouse is just being constantly stressed. There was so much. And even though I didn't wanna drink, I think I will find it hard to fight the habit of pouring the drink or popping open the champagne and just feeling kind of left out in a weird way."

I'm sure many can relate. Join Ruby and Susan to explore how to infuse your season with joy, peace, and love without a drop of alcohol. Ever wondered how to maintain personal happiness amidst the holiday hustle?

We'll uncover heartwarming stories and dive into intention-setting exercises to foster those cozy holiday emotions. Ready for stress-free holiday prep and booze-free temptations? We’ve got practical tips and heartwarming alternatives for you.

Whether you're with loved ones or enjoying quiet solitude, this episode is packed with ideas for a joyful, meaningful holiday. How will you create a snug, grateful atmosphere? Stay tuned for virtual gatherings, exciting challenges, and community support just around the corner!

Heads up for January – we're planning an exciting challenge to start the new year on a positive, clear-minded note! Join the Anticipation List for Feel Lit 21!

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

Grab our Feel Lit Weekend Guide! https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

Join our Feel Lit AF Facebook Community for amazing support and connection!

Watch Episode on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@FeelLitAlcoholFreePodcast/videos

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Transcript

Sick and tired of your love-hate relationship with wine?
Welcome to the feel it alcohol free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby Williams. And I'm coach Susan Larkin. We are 2 former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and more in control of your life. So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel lit alcohol free. And don't forget, grab a copy of our wine free weekend guide after the show.


Susan [00:00:27]:
Welcome. Welcome. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. To be here, yes, with you the week before Christmas, if you celebrate. And we have a wonderful question. I mean, there's so many questions like this during the holidays.

Susan [00:00:48]:
We hear this so much from our clients. So this is a great question from one of our listeners about the stress of the holiday season. And so I'm just gonna read the question, and then Ruby and I are going to answer it like we do with lots of great tips for you. Alright. So the question is, boy, the holidays are stressful. Hosting Christmas Eve, buying and wrapping presents, ugh, I hate wrapping presents, traveling, then to hear at times I forgot stuff from the kids and the spouse is just being constantly stressed. There was so much. And even though I didn't wanna drink, I think I will find it hard to fight the habit of pouring the drink or popping open the champagne and just feeling kind of left out in a weird way.

Susan [00:01:38]:
I know that's not the truth, but that's the feeling the alcohol puts in your head. Like memories of a lost friend, a poisonous toxic friend, I guess I still have work to do, but I'm still proud of myself. It's just hard to feel the satisfaction at this very moment. How can I feel less stressed this holiday season? Wow. What a good question, and there's so much in there to unpack. I love how this listener even said, I know that it's alcohol putting these thoughts in my head, that I'll feel left out, etcetera. So just the awareness there is so great.

Ruby [00:02:14]:
Mhmm. Yeah. 

Susan [00:02:17]:
And when I hear that, I think I'll find it hard to fight the habit. So she's already planting that in her brain that she may find it hard. Yeah. So what what do you think

Ruby [00:02:27]:
of your Yeah. There's so much in what was said, and I just related. I just went, oh, yeah. Yeah. Stress. Me too. You know? And then alcohol, you know, being around family after traveling, you know, just everything that was said by this listener, I really, really relate. So there's lots of ways we're actually going to answer this because we've been thinking about this.

Ruby [00:02:45]:
And, like, just but just one way to feel satisfaction, I wrote I love this phrase. Give yourself the gift of being present. I love that it's like a mix. But, you know, being present means Yes. Really just it's about, like, in the moment, you know, gratitude, being present. So I just, well, I want to share my story, okay, first, and then you can share a little bit of your story, Susan. It's always fun to share our stories. But so for me, the holidays so I got divorced and separated when my son was 2.

Ruby [00:03:24]:
Actually, he was 1. The first Christmas apart from him, he wasn't even 2 yet. And I hear this a lot, and part of our divorce was he would be with his dad one Christmas and then me the next Christmas and then his dad. So I really experienced this well, the listener was saying something about, like, memories of a lost friend or unless so for me, every other year, Christmas was just me. You know, I mean, I would spend it with my family, but I wouldn't have my son around. So we're gonna talk about lots of ideas. But even when you've you you may be missing someone, this could be, maybe someone has passed on or someone's not coming to Thanksgiving or Christmas. Sorry.

Ruby [00:04:12]:
We just had Thanksgiving, so I'm thinking about Thanksgiving. But, you know, your Christmas holiday or your holiday or whether you're maybe it's Hanukkah or some other celebration. So this going back and forth and feeling this, I mean, I got used to it, but the first, it was really, really hard, Susan, in the beginning. And this probably led to me drinking more, honestly, I was experiencing this loss every holiday, every other holiday, really. So yeah. So I'm going to talk more about giving yourself the gift of being present is kinda where I wanna go with this. And what are you grateful for? What do you know, instead of lonely, does the word solitude maybe resonate? And we're gonna come up with lots of tips and tools and and things, but how can you celebrate solitude and being present and maybe finding connection with yourself? There's so many ways we can go with this. Do you wanna share a little bit about your stories or past?

Susan [00:05:20]:
Yeah? Yeah. Well, I wanted to sort of touch on the stress aspect of the listener's question because, yeah, the whole month or maybe even starting in November is just ramping up with more and more things to do on top of our daily life, which is usually already full to begin with. And so what I like to work with clients on is, make a list of all the things that you need to do or that you usually do during the holidays, and then categorize them into a list of do, delegate, defer, and delete. Like, are there some things you don't need to do right now or that you don't need to do this holiday season? Like, if you don't like doing Christmas cards, if it's just too much, then don't send a Christmas card this year. But that may be the thing you really want to do because it's super meaningful to you. So then you make sure that you do do that, but maybe you delegate or defer or delete something else. So, like, for example, I hate wrapping gifts. So my husband is not gonna do that either.

Susan [00:06:37]:
So I just get gift bags, and then I just put things in the gift bag, which is so much easier than wrapping something. But also really make sure, and I had people do this as an exercise last year, make sure in your calendar for the holidays, you actually put something and I I said even use a different pen if you have a paper calendar or if you're using the Google Calendar, a different color, and make sure that you look at what you love for the holidays.

Ruby [00:07:05]:
Like, if it's a time together

Susan [00:07:05]:
with your kids or you. Like, if it's a time together with your kids, or you really love the holiday lights, or you really have always wanted to go ice skating, you know, but it's just you just never quite get there because of all the other things you have to do. Make sure each week, at least, maybe even every day, there's something in red or whatever color you wanna make it in your calendar that is something you love to do for the holidays. Like, if you hate it if you don't wanna make 5 different kinds of cookies, don't you don't have to make the cookies. You know, make 1 or don't make them at all. You know? It's like really turning everything on its head. Or if you always make this traditional dish at Christmas, like, I think of the 7 fishes, I think of that episode of the bear. It's like, don't make the 7 or 11 fishes or whatever it is, the 9 fishes. I don't know what it is.

Susan [00:07:56]:
But you don't have to do that if it's gonna make you crazy. You know? If there's stuff that makes you crazy, you don't have to do it. Right?

Ruby [00:08:03]:
I love that. That's, like, like, really taking all your to do and you delegate. I wanna just repeat it because it's so important. Delegate, defer, delete, or do it. Yeah. I love that, Susan.

Susan [00:08:15]:
Yeah. I have a friend. This is so funny or interesting that her kids, her adult children just didn't make the time to come and trim the tree with her. You know? And then 1 year later, they showed up for Christmas, and there was no tree. And she was like, well, you know, I don't wanna trim the tree by myself. So if you guys want a tree, then show up and help me trim the tree. And then after that, it's like, okay. They made a point of coming and doing the tree with her.

Susan [00:08:44]:
You know? And then I think of my parents, because I was just in my parents' house. My dad's 86. My mom's 80. About to turn 81. And my dad's out there on a ladder putting up the Christmas lights. And I'm thinking, they may even go to my brother's for Christmas. So why are they doing all this, like, you know, work, but they wanna do it for themselves. And they put up a tree.

Susan [00:09:08]:
I helped my mom trim the tree this year. Oh. And then my dad's like, leave the curtains open so everyone can see our tree from the street. And I'm just like, they still think that that brings them joy, putting up the lights. To what brings you joy. Yeah. Yeah. It comes back to what brings you joy, not what you have to do.

Susan [00:09:28]:
I have to do it.

Ruby [00:09:29]:
Right. So this is a great segue into what I wanted to do with you all, listeners. It's an intention building exercise, and it's about what you want more of and with intention. So what I would love for you to do is think about 5 different feelings or emotions that you want to feel this holiday season. Okay? And then so, you know, I brainstorm. I look within myself. You can maybe, like, light a candle, find a Christmas song or a holiday song or a favorite song and take, like, 5 minutes or the length of the song and really look within yourself. What do you want to feel this holiday season? And I came up with just for fun, like, a few that I wanted.

Ruby [00:10:22]:
So I came up with, like, laughter. I came up with calm or peace, a quality time with family, love, and kindness. So I came up with those 5. So we're gonna, like and then you brainstorm. Okay? And you can even go on YouTube or Facebook and and, like, even just how can I have or ask AI, like, how can I have more calm or peace or laughter or joy or whatever the word is that you want? So this is just an idea to do 5. You could do 1. You could do more. So here's some fun things for laughter.

Ruby [00:11:05]:
Okay? How about a family talent show where everyone just does something singing, dancing, telling a joke, or a funny costume day. You know, the ugly sweater, you know, or or funny hats. Right? How about charades? You know, I love games. I'm a game. I love it. But, like, you could play charades with holiday movies or famous characters. Or how about just a family movie night? You know? That you know, like, I love Elf. I love oh, I love Elf.

Ruby [00:11:34]:
Elf. I love Christmas vacation, and oh, I just love Christmas movies. Okay. You could even do a silly photo booth with funny props. You know? Again, like little hats or glasses or yeah. So for peace and calm or is there anyone you wanna add, or do you want me to keep going, Susan?

Susan [00:11:54]:
No. Well, we play games with my family when we get our big family together, and there's a really funny game. I mean, we were dying laughing, called poetry for Neanderthals. Oh, I'm late. And it's kinda like Taboo, except you

Susan [00:12:09]:
to only use one syllable words to describe the word you're describing to your team. And then to make it even funnier, you do it in, like, the Neanderthal, like, for spoon, it could be meat, eat food, no fork, or something like that, and then people guess spoon. And my brother's hilarious with it. And then my nephew was just even more hilarious, and we were just dying laughing. So just like a silly game where you don't need a lot of brainpower. Yeah. It's not like, you know

Ruby [00:12:39]:
Apples to Apples is really fun with a big group. And then there's I mean, if you wanna get you kind of dirty or yes. Cards against humanity, but those are for adults, you guys, more adults. But, yeah, there's all kinds of games. Super fun. I love Taboo as well. So but then let's talk about now, like, calm and peace. So you just want a more calm and peaceful holiday.

Ruby [00:13:01]:
You could do some sort of gratitude or relaxation with the family. You could take a family walk. Walk in nature. You know? Just I, you know? I learned from my nephew. Oh my gosh. I can't believe I'm going to say this. But we took a family walk after Thanksgiving holiday altogether. And he's like, did you know on social media or whatever, it's the thing that's called a fart walk? I thought it was hilarious.

Susan [00:13:29]:
Take it outside.

Ruby [00:13:30]:
Take it outside. Take it outside. We were just cracking up because he said he'd heard that. I thought that was hilarious. Oh my gosh. I love that.

Susan [00:13:36]:
You could

Ruby [00:13:36]:
do some sort of mindful coloring, like, put coloring books out with pens and people could just you and people could just take time, you know, walking over and coloring for a little while. It's so, like, it's, like, just so good for the brain to just, like, color in the squares. I don't know. I love it. You could do stargazing on your fartwalk. Or let's see. So the next one I had was quality time. And that's when I was talking about, like, board games or card games or even having, like, a puzzle challenge.

Ruby [00:14:10]:
So you could have a table out with a puzzle that started and people can just keep walking over there. You could have storytelling where you share memories or family stories or even make up new ones. There's this fun one where you somebody starts the story and you say a sentence or 2 and it goes to the next person and they continue on with the story. That's fun. Or like crafting. You know, it could be you make a bunch of sugar cookies that are not decorated and the kids could decorate them, you know, with some frostier candy. Or or you could have a gingerbread house that's not put all the candy on it yet. You know, like a holiday crafting or baking

Susan [00:14:53]:
for love. So if

Ruby [00:14:54]:
you want to feel more or do you want to feel sorry. You want to share one, Susan?

Susan [00:14:57]:
No. No. I'm just relating to everything you're saying. We made gingerbread houses when it's a big group when I went back home for Christmas. And I was just thinking you could do the storytelling one on Zoom because I did this with my improv class

Ruby [00:15:10]:
Oh, good idea.

Susan [00:15:11]:
When we had our improv class, and then all of all of a sudden it was COVID. So if you are far away from your family members and you're having a Zoom Christmas where you're coming together, which is what we're gonna do this year, we did Secret Santa. We used this platform called Elster and every and then we're gonna be together on Christmas morning on Zoom, but you could do the funny storytelling on Zoom. You could do the show up with your crazy Christmas hat on Zoom Right. You know, if you're not with all of your loved ones at Christmas. So that that was just something. Oh, I also thought of instead of cards against humanity, which is a little dirty for, like, all ages, there's another one that's similar to that called relative insanity, and it's the same principle with the cards, but it's a little cleaner, and it's related to relatives. Like so it's even kind of a funny thing to do with family, another idea.

Susan [00:16:06]:
But, no, I'm just loving all of your ideas, Ruby.

Ruby [00:16:09]:
There's so many names. Yeah.

Susan [00:16:11]:
Writing them all down.

Ruby [00:16:12]:
If you want more love.

Susan [00:16:15]:
So joy, you know, what was your next one? Like, feeling peace. Yeah. That love was my next one.

Ruby [00:16:23]:
So if you wanna feel more love, you could do, like, a gratitude jar where maybe everybody writes down a gratitude and then you could share them. Perhaps personalized gifts.


Ruby [00:17:09]:
So you could do, like, a gratitude jar, with everybody in your family. You could put in some things they're grateful for or the people they're grateful for, and then you could share them, you know, on Christmas Eve or on one of your special holiday nights. You could do a compliment circle where each person shares a compliment.

Ruby [00:17:45]:
I love that one. You could create some sort of personalized gift. You know? Something small. Like, 1 year, I did a little ornament, handmade ornament that was out of wood for each person. Last year you know what I did? So my dog is named Bagel, and I made everything with bagel seasoning. And I put a picture of Bagel stickers on little spice jars. And I gave everybody everything bagel spice, just little jars of it with my dog's picture on it. 

Ruby [00:18:20]:
You can create a memory scrapbook. You could have a big hug session. What about that? Just to share your love and kindness for everyone. I mean, that's what I want when I think of holidays, just love. And the last one I thought of is kindness. So what if you did a random act of kindness for each person? Like, kinda like a Secret Santa, and you get when you get there for, you know, your holiday, you each pick a name and it has to be secret. And you know, like, that you're gonna do, you know, your uncle, and it's just some sort of random act of kindness.

Ruby [00:19:03]:
You could have a family volunteer, like a community volunteer, especially if you're, you know, in solitude for the holiday. Reach out to the community. It feels so good to give back. And maybe it's helping families get meals or, yeah, just some sort of community sharing and helping and service. You could do thank you notes to each family member. I talked about this with one of my clients recently for the Thanksgiving holiday, and she had her kids make cute little cards, like, place place cards for each family member. And, you know, how they're folded? And inside, each family member said something that they're, you know, thankful for, or it was like a little note in each one. That's great.

Ruby [00:19:58]:
Those are just some ideas. I love

Susan [00:20:00]:
that. Oh my gosh. I want to try all these. So I just wanna return back to a couple of things in the listener's question too, though. Even though I didn't want to drink, I think I will find or I don't want to drink, I think I think I will find it hard to fight the habit of pouring the drink or popping open the champagne and just feeling kind of left out in a weird way. What I do for that in group settings is I bring my own, and there's sparkling alcohol free wines in a champagne glass with the same popping of the cork. And I pop it, and it's like, woo. And I did this at Thanksgiving, and I had brought plenty, which was a good thing because people joined me with the alcohol free sparkling wine.

Susan [00:20:45]:
They wanted to try it. And then they also my cousin was like, I wanna start with this because I don't wanna end up drinking too much. And then, you know, she drinks, and then she goes off and has some wine later. But, you know, I got out the champagne glasses. My mom has these old antique coupe glasses that were my grandmother's, which I've called dibs on. But, yeah. And so I had my sparkling. I had the champagne cork pop.

Susan [00:21:10]:
I didn't miss the ethanol in my glass. I was not left out at all. I had a glass in my hand just like everyone else. So it's not for everyone. We know that some people feel triggered by alcohol free wine or drinks. I have a signature mocktail for the event. I made alcohol free sangria, and it was pretty much gone. I had a beautiful cut glass pitcher, so I put that in there.

Susan [00:21:37]:
So, like, I love how she's saying, you know, like memories of a lost friend, a poisonous toxic friend. So just reminding yourself that, yes, alcohol was your poisonous toxic friend that maybe you don't wanna invite this year to Christmas, to your celebration, and how can I feel less stressed? So we've talked about that. Maybe setting an intention to feel peace, to feel joy, and to to use some of the exercises we've talked about in our podcast in previous episodes of breathing. So the stress starts to rise. If you're hosting, go into your bedroom, do a ‘feet up the wall’, do some deep breathing exercises, do a tapping, use what the use the tools you have to deal that you use to deal with stress on an everyday basis, and use those tools to stay true to what you really wanna do. And remember, you know, our mindset is key. So going into the event, oh, this is gonna be really hard.

Susan [00:22:38]:
I know I'm gonna miss this, is, like, is your brain you are gonna miss it. So if you're going into it with, like, what is there for me to enjoy besides alcohol in this holiday, then you're gonna be noticing the things to enjoy and bringing those things too. Like, bringing your alcohol free options or your mocktail or something that you're really excited to enjoy or thinking, oh, I'm really gonna dig into dessert or the food this year. Sometimes in the past, I've always been, you know, when I was drinking, way too drunk to enjoy the food, to be honest with you. Yeah. So just those are just to address the actual question. And I wanna shift a little bit to, like you said, solitary because, like, this year, for me, and I even before the event when I was I mean, before the podcast, when I was talking to Ruby, she's like, you need to switch your mindset on this. And it's like, yes.

Susan [00:23:33]:
True. Because this year, we're home for the holidays. We are staying here to be with my mother-in-law. We switched off with my brother and sister-in-law from being here in Connecticut to take care of her. So they were here to take care of her for Thanksgiving. Now, we're here for Christmas. My kids, because they came with us for Thanksgiving to California, they are going to their significant others for Christmas. So we are going to be here alone or just with Betty who has Alzheimer's.

Susan [00:24:07]:
So I'm like, okay. How is this Christmas? It's gonna be different. It's gonna be quieter. What's my mindset about this? I was starting to go down that this is gonna suck, da da da da da. And I'm okay. I'm inspired by Ruby. Like, what are some of the things that I want for my Christmas Eve, my Christmas day?

Ruby [00:24:27]:
Yeah. Exactly. Intention.

Susan [00:24:29]:
Like, how do you wanna feel my intentions?

Ruby [00:24:32]:
Yeah. I really think this could really help guide you for all of our listeners. Just setting this intention of and maybe it is if you're stressed normally to that peace and calm. Like, really look into that. Yeah. And, I just want to echo my book. Yeah.

Susan [00:24:46]:
You know? Even though that seems weird. Like, Christmas morning, we'll do the Zoom thing with my family and then maybe exchange gifts with my husband, and then we can go out for a nice walk. I can just sit and relax because I've been so busy. And it's there we have these expectations we put on the holidays, but do we have to have those expectations? Like, that it's this big family thing. Well, what if it's not a big family thing this year? Then what can it be for me? Like, maybe I sleep in. Maybe You make

Ruby [00:25:17]:
hot chocolate. Hot chocolate. You watch it around Christmas movies. Yeah.

Susan [00:25:22]:
Yeah. I read my book all day.

Ruby [00:25:25]:
Oh, it just sounds nice. Spa day. I really wanna also say if you want more tips and tools, we go listen to the Thanksgiving episode because we really it's for any holiday or actually any special occasion. You can give you so many ideas and especially yours is number 1. Like, bring your own alcohol free beverage so you know Yeah. What you're gonna drink. But then we would love for you to go back and listen to that episode if you want some more help around just getting in the right mindset for a holiday. Yeah.

Ruby [00:26:03]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Susan [00:26:04]:
What's going on? I'm going to use what you talked about, Ruby, and really set my intention. I love your idea of just putting on a Christmas song or just some sort of holiday music and really sitting down and how do I wanna feel? And then what are the activities or the actions that help me feel that way? But I also know just waking up in the morning and writing what I want to feel that day? I've done this with joy. We've talked about this where all of a sudden I just said, I wanna feel joy today. And just by setting that intention, my brain was looking for ways to feel joy, and I just got overwhelmed with joyous feelings for no reason. I wasn't really out for a walk, and I'm, like, I have to hug a tree because I am just full, and I always overflow. And I wanted to, like, press this energy into this tree, which was Yeah. Kinda weird. But

Ruby [00:26:56]:
Really can work. I hope you all will do that

Susan [00:26:58]:
in different

Ruby [00:26:58]:
exercise. Setting.

Susan [00:27:00]:
It's about

Ruby [00:27:00]:
the feelings. It's like Yes. And then what can you do to feel those feelings? Yeah. Alright. So I'll let you ask me. I think we're at the time.

Susan [00:27:13]:
Yes. What do you do, Ruby, to feel lit? Yes. Around the holidays or any day?

Ruby [00:27:22]:
Well, I wanna introduce you all to the concept or the word hygge. It's spelled hygge. Hygge. I don't know if you've heard of it before. It's a Danish and Norwegian concept that embodies coziness. We also had it in Sweden too. I was a Swedish exchange student, and it's about comfort, coziness, contentment. It's, like, warm Yeah.

Ruby [00:27:46]:
Pleasurable. What you spend it has to do with it's all about the holidays. You're spending time with loved ones, comforting foods, maybe beauty in the moment. It's about being focused in the present. Again, the best gift you can give yourself is being present. Right? And how do you get ‘present’? Like, finding joy in the small things is so good. So I wrote down, like, lighting candles and maybe even scented candles or scents. Like, for me, the scent of a live Christmas tree.

Ruby [00:28:18]:
Even if I get a Christmas tree that's only 2 feet tall, I want to love that, like, pine scent. I love all the, like, the scents of Christmas. Right? Or because I celebrate Christmas. But it could be having a good book, like you said, Susan, by fire or candle with a cup of hot cocoa or tea. And it's about creating a cozy atmosphere and then having that mindful relaxation. I love flames. I love that we also got to feel lit. Alcohol I made flames to me in fire like, sitting by a campfire or watching a candle flame and then having that scent.

Ruby [00:28:58]:
Maybe it's a pumpkin spice or, like, a pine scent or there's so many different scents. And then, actually, it can bring up memories, like nostalgic memories too. And you can create new personal rituals too around Higgie. So this, like, scent yeah. Would you like to share too, Susan, around

Susan [00:29:17]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:29:18]:
Candles or

Susan [00:29:19]:
Yeah. I heard this breathing exercise of breathing, a breathing meditation exercise using a candle. So you light the candle, you breathe in, and then you breathe out softly towards the flame, and it just flickers the flame. And then you breathe in, and you breathe out softly, and just flicker. I mean, it just seems hypnotic to me to even think about doing that. And I love the scents. I have some essential oils that I run-in my little essential oil effuser. Diffuser. That's the word.

Susan [00:29:52]:
And I have the Christmas spice, which is a beautiful scent. So, yeah, the scent of cinnamon. Cinnamon. 

Ruby [00:30:00]:
Vanilla, like cookies.

Susan [00:30:02]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:30:05]:
Yeah. I just remind myself. So every morning when I do my meditation, I light a candle, which is scented. I have one of those little balls, like the little singing bowl. It's tiny. Oh. And I am so I have, like, a light, a sound, a scent, and then I start my meditation. And so you could just do this.

Ruby [00:30:28]:
You could create a little I don't know. I have it on a tray. So it's all there. And you could do this at any time even when you're really stressed. Like, say you're stressed, you could light a candle and breathe in some lovely scent, and you could even have a little ding or a bell. You know? I have a lot of bells around Christmas time too. So light up your senses. Yeah.

Susan [00:30:54]:
Yeah. I think they have those sounds on Insight Timer too. Mhmm. And then which is a free app for meditating, and you can pick the ding that you want. And so that's a great tool to just go in your room, have a meditation station, let's say, set up for you to have your retreat if you're hosting, which hosting usually brings on more stress than being a guest, right? If you're a guest, plan your escape plan if you need it to protect your alcohol free lifestyle, and we talked about that in our Thanksgiving episode. But I love this idea of having your meditation station in your room. Mhmm. And if you need to excuse yourself, just say you're going to the ladies room or whatever, shut the door, go in there and do your and have your your your stations

Ruby [00:31:42]:
go to. Have a scent and have a little sound. And you can even have a flower or something beautiful, you know, and then maybe something that feels good. You could light up all your senses, which we talk about a lot because it's such an important tool when you're stressed.

Susan [00:31:59]:
Yeah. Yeah. Oh gosh.

Ruby [00:32:00]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:32:02]:
And we have our Facebook group. So because I'm not doing anything this Christmas, from what I can tell so far, except setting an attention to not being a big fat downer, like I started out when I was talking to Ruby before the episode. I will be available, and I'll be checking the Facebook group. So if you need support, please go on to the Facebook group and and, you know, post something, and I'll be there to support you. And so, if you haven't joined our Facebook group yet, and you would like to, please do before the holidays because we are there, and we are there to support you, and there's other people there's, like, over 200 people in our group, joining us in this alcohol free tribe. Yeah. I love it. Our Feel Lit tribe.

Ruby [00:32:48]:
Oh, this was so great. I'm wishing everyone a happy holiday. And thank you for listening. We just love our listeners, and we've got a few special things under our sleeve that we're gonna share in our next couple of podcast episodes, but I hope you'll maybe join us in January for a special challenge. So there's a little hint. Yay. Yay. Yeah.

Susan [00:33:13]:
Yeah. Alright, everybody. Have a great holiday. Merry Christmas. And we will see you next week.