The Moderation Myth: Finding Freedom / EP. 36 (Part 1)

Welcome back to The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast where co-hosts Susan and Ruby, shatter the myths about alcohol and arm you with the tools to break free.

Ever wondered why moderation feels like an uphill battle? In today’s episode, titled “The Moderation Myth,” we dive deep into the challenging waters of returning to “normal” drinking and the elusive struggle with moderation. We answer a listener's question: "How do I know if I will be able to moderate my drinking in the future? Can I reset to a "normal" drinker?"

Can you truly moderate, or is it a slippery slope? We’ll share our raw and personal experiences, highlighting the crucial role of mindset and emotions in achieving lasting alcohol freedom. We’ll explore the profound difficulties of moderation, the transformative concept of putting the "forever question" on hold, and the journey to discovering your authentic self in an alcohol-free lifestyle.

So, grab your favorite cup of tea, get cozy, and join us as we unravel the complexities of moderation and embark on the journey towards feeling truly lit and alcohol-free. Are you ready to challenge the status quo and redefine your relationship with alcohol? Let’s dive in!

Time Stamp
00:00 Questioning ability to moderate drinking after abstinence.
04:38 Beliefs in alcohol lead to recurring cycles.
09:10 Let go, understand addiction, embrace an alcohol-free lifestyle.
11:35 Explore alcohol-free lifestyle, find healthy coping mechanisms.
14:15 Learning and overcoming alcoholism is a process.
19:04 Struggle with alcohol, overcoming and relapse awareness.
20:25 Choosing an alcohol-free lifestyle over potential "normal" drinking.
26:10 Guiding clients to change goals, embrace hope.
27:29 Suspending moderation goal helps make progress.

We want to hear from you! Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

Find community and connection on the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/feellitalcoholfreepodcast

Watch Episode on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@FeelLitAlcoholFreePodcast/videos

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychologic...

Transcript

Sick and tired of your love-hate relationship with wine?
Welcome to the feel it alcohol free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby Williams. And I'm coach Susan Larkin. We are 2 former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and more in control of your life. So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel lit alcohol free. And don't forget, grab a copy of our wine free weekend guide after the show.


Susan [00:00:38]:
Hey. Good morning. Good morning. I am so happy to be here with you, my dear sweet Ruby. I love recording with you. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Susan [00:00:51]:
Well, I am super excited about this week's episode because I think it is something that every person who worries about their drinking or, you know, decides that they wanna take a look at their drinking grapples with, and the topic is the big m moderation. Yeah. Yeah. So most of the time, right, Ruby, when we have clients that come to work with us, their goal is to be able to moderate. And that was my goal too. And Right. You know, for years and years.

Susan [00:01:31]:
But let's look at this listener's question because it's really a juicy one, and it has there's so many aspects of this that we can address. So this listener says, I am wondering when I can go back to drinking. It is so trendy right now to do a set point of time alcohol free, like dry January, 1 year, no beer, etcetera. And then you end up trying to moderate or go back to drinking like you used to, not realizing that some of us can't moderate and want to feel better. How do I know if I will be able to moderate my drinking in the future? Can I reset to become a, and I'm putting this in air quotes, normal oh, dear, drinker? I did that, and all of a sudden, this confetti. Okay. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll see. So can I reset to a normal drinker? Woah.

Susan [00:02:28]:
Woah. Yeah. What a great question.

Ruby [00:02:31]:
So that is this listener is describing exactly what I was thinking about, but I never even got to a whole dry January or 1 year. I mean, I would say that was my goal to reset or go back to drinking 1 or 2 glasses or a normal drinker as I put the air quotes. That was absolutely my goal. So I can totally relate. Yeah. And and like you said, almost all of our many of our clients or people we come across, that's what they want. That's because if you think about it, if you believe and you use wine or I use wine or, you know, alcohol as a coping tool, and you just want to go back to being a normal drinker, but the tolerance keeps increasing. So, we've got different factors, like, in terms of science and stuff, but I wanna talk about my story first.

Ruby [00:03:29]:
So I would say I tried to be a normal drinker again, sort of, on my own, like having rules and just constantly breaking them for probably 7 years, 7 years where it actually ended up just, like, increasing my drinking, having these rules and focusing on it. But a little bit more about my background, I mean, you you may have heard this in episode 1, but, you know, that was a long time ago. But I used to work in the wine industry. And I worked, in the wine industry for, like, almost 20 years. And it was a part of my identity. And I remember thinking, how am I going to not drink 100% that forever word? Just, I couldn't ever I couldn't go there. It was more about how can I figure out how to keep drinking, but drink less? Mhmm. And that's what happens is you you might get a certain amount of time alcohol free and start to feel better.

Ruby [00:04:38]:
But if you still have all of these beliefs, like, I believed I needed alcohol for my job to have fun, to socialize, to get through a stressful day, to help me sleep. Like, my actually, my list goes on and on and on. I had so many beliefs or jobs that I gave gave alcohol. So if I still believe that alcohol is fun, for example, just to use that one, and I get some time alcohol free, and I start to feel better, but then something comes up like a social event, and I still believe it's super fun, I'm gonna end up drinking again. And we talk about, like, that slippery slope, like, some people call it relapse or or or cycle. I mean, really, when I think about my time, like, my timeline in a longer period, it was just like cycles. And then when I would make a decision of I'm gonna try to stop, and I would play some rules and maybe I get a little bit of time. But then something would happen, like a stressful day at work, and I need one to to relax.

Ruby [00:05:43]:
Like, that kind of thought would come up. And so I'd end up drinking again. And, I think if we're gonna talk about it like a timeline, or just can you moderate again? I wanna go there again because, like, I thought I really thought this, and I think it's just like a myth that if you can have, like, 30 days alcohol free or 21 days or 60 days or certain amount of time that your brain could, like, just reset. I don't even know where it came from, but it was like in my psyche somewhere of like, oh, I can reset. But I just well, trial and error. I mean, people, me, you, clients, we all need to, like, experience this ourselves and experiment, like, get curious. You it's just like balance between, like, experimenting and then experiencing. And then you if you keep saying I wanna moderate, I wanna be normal drinker.

Ruby [00:06:46]:
And then you'll do it again. You'll drink you'll start drinking again. And then you will have okay, well, how did that make me feel? And then you you'll go through this cycle again, and, it can be frustrating, and it can be years. The average for, I think, a woman is about 7 years. I think it's longer for men, actually. 7 years of, like, being in that painful cycle of rules and trying to do it on your own. And we were so independent. Right? We wanna do this on our own.

Ruby [00:07:16]:
Why can't I do this on my own? And I just wanna reset. Our brains are malleable. But we but this is why I love coaching and why I became a coach. And I think you can agree with me, Susan, that we we really work on your mindset and your feelings.

Susan [00:07:34]:
So we're

Ruby [00:07:35]:
feeling it. You know, feel it. We it's a big part of the feelings too. Anyway, I think I've gone in circles. But, yeah, what do

Susan [00:07:42]:
you what do you think about my story and, like, the identity piece? Yeah. Well, I think that that was key in my story as well, was this idea of getting back to being a quote unquote normal drinker. That is what that's the thought that was keeping me stuck.

Ruby [00:07:58]:
Mhmm.

Susan [00:07:59]:
Even in being able to get 60 days. Right? I would do a lot of 30 days. That's sort of my story. I would do 30 days and then have an episode sorta like or episode have an event like you were talking about, Ruby. An event that came up or have a stressful day where it was like, okay. You know, I but I would this I honestly and I I wasn't being honest with myself either. Like, I'd have a stressful day, and then I'd say to my husband, oh, meet me at, this little restaurant cafe down the street and let's just have some wine. You know, like, have a nice night.

Susan [00:08:36]:
So because it was like out. So this was like in my in my good drinking category as long as I'm out, not sitting at home. You know what I mean? So I would, like, disguise it. Like, let's meet and let's have some drinks. But, really, I was feeling stressed, and I wanted the alcohol to self medicate. So I wasn't using it for social reasons. Right? Mhmm. And so for me, I had to let go of trying to hold on to what what we there's a tactic that really resonated with me, which was called holding on to both worlds.

Susan [00:09:10]:
I had to completely let go. Now that's not to say that I thought that I was gonna do this forever. I just put the forever question on hold. I really resonated. First of all, what helped me helped set me free was to realize that actually I wasn't normal because I was my brain and body were reacting normally to an addictive substance. That was the first thing that helped my mindset start to be able to change. 2nd was, you know, I realized that keeping the hope to moderate in my mind was a barrier to truly experiencing an alcohol free lifestyle. So if you want alcohol to become small and irrelevant, you wanna be a take it or leave it person.

Susan [00:09:53]:
I had this realization. Well, I knew I was a take it person. Hello. But could I be a leave it person? That I didn't know. And so that was what I went all in on. I didn't say forever, but I said I really need to experience, can I be a leave it person? Can I go all in and really let go of this idea of what's normal or also, you know, moderation? I just had to put that kind of on the back burner and, really what I said is just go all in. Right? Yeah. That that was sort of what was in my mindset.

Susan [00:10:29]:
It was like, just be able to go all in. Yeah.

Ruby [00:10:33]:
Yeah. Holding on to 2 worlds is can can you describe I what I'll what I understand it is, like, you're in a garage, you're holding on to the car door, but you also wanna go into the house, But you can't go into the house, which is this, like, alcohol free world, because you're still holding onto the car door. And Yeah. It makes sense to me. Or, another way I explain it to people is, like, you got a backpack full of rocks, and you have to, like, drop that backpack full of rocks to be able to swim out to this island, this alcohol free island, you know, where people are. But you can't actually swim out and be free if you're holding on to this backpack of rocks, which is all of your beliefs and all of your, yeah, your your coping tools. Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:11:29]:
Really that big big back backpack of rocks is your alcohol addiction. Yeah.

Susan [00:11:35]:
Yeah. Well, that I love that because that's what and I tell clients, look, alcohol is always gonna be there. You can go back to it, but give it a give an alcohol free lifestyle a 100% chance and do the work to find other coping more healthy coping mechanisms for the things that you are the jobs you were using alcohol for. Yeah. So, that's the work that I do with clients. You know, let's try all these different resources and experiment, like you said, and no myth of perfection because a lot of times what we call data points, and we've talked about data points on the podcast before, those data points are the things that show you how alcohol was really operating in your life. And sometimes there are these big moments like, oh, I mean, for me, my data big data point was, like, when COVID started and I went back to drinking, it was like a 2 month data point. But it was like, oh, this does not this is not working for me.

Susan [00:12:34]:
And then it was just super clear to me at that point, in my in my story. But, yeah, it's I think so I also likened it to so we talk about alcohol being small and irrelevant. And so I started thinking, okay, what are some things that are small and irrelevant, like asparagus, oatmeal? You know, could I live the rest of my life without eating oatmeal? I would ask myself this. I'm like, yeah. You know, I mean, I like oatmeal, but if I never had to have oatmeal again, that'd be fine or asparagus. I like asparagus, but if even strawberries, something I really like. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. If I was allergic to strawberries and I could never have strawberries again, that'd be a bummer.

Susan [00:13:14]:
They're nice. I love them. You know? But okay. I did not feel that way about alcohol. So that's where you know that there's a sticky it's a sticky thing for you. That it's you know, if I mean, I would play I would do this thought exercise of, like, would I give up alcohol for a $1,000? No. For $5,000? Like, really? I would like to say this.

Ruby [00:13:39]:
I get that too. Yeah. I get that too. And now you wanna know the opposite is true. I'd like if someone were to give me a $1,000,000 to start drinking alcohol again, I don't well, I might have a sip, but I'm I just don't I don't wanna put poison in my body. Like, I don't I love myself now. So why would I put poison in my body? But I wanna go back to a point you made around, experience and experimentation because this is really key in, like, you you are gonna be your journey is is different than everybody else's. And, like, yes.

Ruby [00:14:15]:
Maybe you, your brain and you, you have to maybe do this cycle for a certain amount of years or time. And it's just part of how you learn. And most people like, I can tell people over and over again that, yes, most likely, if you don't work on these beliefs, you're gonna drink again, but people have to do that maybe. They just have to, like and then finally, it like, we call it clicking. Finally, it clicks. Oh, yeah. Every time I have one drink, eventually, I go back to drinking as much as I was and then more. Like, it just and then, and then you go, well, maybe this time, I can drink normally.

Ruby [00:14:51]:
Then you try it again. Eventually, though, you're like times. Yeah. But how many times? And this is where a coach can come in. If you're really ready, if you're really, like, you wanna, like, yes. Sign me up. I wanna be alcohol free. I've tried this now for years or whatever on my own.

Ruby [00:15:09]:
You know, you can, like, come to us. Just talk to us. Like, if you resonate with me or Susan, please just we wanna just talk to you and chat, and you're not alone. So I wanted I just wanted to slip that in because it's so important to not be alone. I felt so alone in this wanting to moderate, trying to figure it out all on my own. Yeah. But I, can I share another little quick story? Of course. About okay.

Ruby [00:15:35]:
This is I actually heard this story. I did a Kaiser outpatient program. So I tried all kinds of things, by the way, in this, like, curiosity time. And, so so think about this. It it it just, like, made sense to me. You mentioned a little bit about, like, well, once you kind of we're all on a spectrum, I believe. Any any amount of drinking or any drinker is on a spectrum. It's no more like your your normal drinker or alcoholic.

Ruby [00:16:12]:
And we talked about this in a previous episode, but, like, we're a spectrum. Mhmm. And but I do believe that at one point, you tip the scale and you you do you don't realize it in the moment, but you can look back and then gonna go, yeah, around that time, like you talked about COVID or you kinda go, oh, yeah. I'm now thinking about it all the time. I want it all the time. It's like, it's just different. Yeah. And think of, like, a cucumber cannot go back to being a pickle.

Ruby [00:16:47]:
No. A pickle can't go back. Cucumber. Cut it backwards. A pickle I'm trying to make this point here. Maybe we can delete that. Now maybe I'll be funny. A pickle cannot go back to being a cucumber.

Ruby [00:16:58]:
Like Right. And that really, like, resonated with me. So okay. So if my brain yeah. Which got a little pickled. Pun intended. Like, it just it's those neural pathways were formed. I think that they're always there.

Ruby [00:17:20]:
But what happens is you start to as you you they shrivel up the ones that want wine, want alcohol, and you can have the new ones, new neural pathways. But I do believe that you sometimes you'd like this reach this point where, like, a cucumber becomes a pickle. Like, it's I don't think you could just go back to being a normal drinker. But I had to experience that on my own by having these cycles of drinking and then alcohol free cycles and cycles of drinking. But we just want you to, like, get off that merry-go-round like you use yeah. It's so painful.

Susan [00:17:56]:
Well, let me so can I say what my thoughts are about the cucumber story? Because I heard that cucumber pickle story when I went to AA. Yeah. And I hated that. I was like, f that. If anybody was gonna be if anybody was gonna be able to go back to being a cucumber, it was me. Like, I am not dig in and, like, pound that square peg into a round hole. And I was like, I hated that, story. I see.

Susan [00:18:26]:
I loved it. No. I know. But what resonated with me was, this so the story that really resonated with me and helped me really visualize this, and I'm a visual person. When I was stopping drinking is this idea of the neural pathway. So which neural pathway was I feeding with my behavior? Was I feeding the old the old roads? And I thought of them as roads, like highways. So was I feeding the old road that was very well paved? I could go from 0 to 60 or to Audubon 0 to a 100 or the new road of experiencing life alcohol free, which was a bumpy road. It didn't always feel good.

Susan [00:19:04]:
It wasn't smooth yet. But I would always look at that as, like, what is this what is what I'm gonna do right now? Like, when I'd have a craving to drink, it's like, well, which one is that gonna reinforce? And I didn't wanna reinforce the drinking one. But then when I got to some time alcohol free, it kind of felt like, oh, I'd put down this barrier. You know, like, those barriers that you can't go through the road. You know? Yeah. And and then I was really living on this road here, and it was I was and it was starting to starting to become smoother and starting to be enjoyable. And I realized that if I took the barrier down and started driving on the old road, it would light up all those neuropathways again. And from my experience, I knew I would go from 0 to a 100 pretty quickly

Ruby [00:19:54]:
Mhmm.

Susan [00:19:54]:
Because that is already well well paved. And I just knew in my mind, the way I put it to myself is if I go back to drinking, my subconscious brain will be like, yippee. We're doing this again. Woo hoo. And it would just dig right in, and I'd be off to the races. And so for me, just keeping that barrier there and just understanding that I don't wanna feed that part, those neuropathways. They're there. They're dormant.

Susan [00:20:19]:
They're a road I don't drive on, and true freedom is when those neuropathways are dormant.

Ruby [00:20:25]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:20:25]:
And then I'm fully living in my alcohol free lifestyle. And I did get to a point, and I remember this clearly, where I even could say, if you if you had a magic wand and you could come to me, you know, you were my fairy and you could come, ding, and I could go back to being and and we'll and I wanna talk about normal, but I could go back to being a normal drinker with no consequences. You know? And but I had to give up everything I had learned on this experience of becoming alcohol free, all the self work I did, just the empowerment that go getting back to feeling good about myself. I would not make that trade. Absolutely not.

Ruby [00:21:11]:
Me too. I never this has been the best transformation, experience of my life to get alcohol free and discover who I truly am alcohol free and living authentically, honestly, like leaning into, feeling the feelings, you know, I that's such a good point, Susan. Like, I would never give this up. This is we are the luckiest. That's why I love Laura McCown's, you know, the phrase because we are the luckiest because we've discovered what we what we truly want in life, alcohol free, instead of adding that alcohol and numbing. So that's so beautiful. Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:21:49]:
I was thinking about turning point. Yeah. I was a I was thinking about when you were telling that story about the the roads, which is such a great visual is, you hear the story of, like, oh, so and so, was alcohol free for 20 years or, like, a long time. And then they started drinking again, maybe in retirement. I hear this a lot.

Susan [00:22:09]:
Like, oh,

Ruby [00:22:09]:
I get to drink when I'm retired. And it's true. Like, if you if you believe you want it, if you just want it all this time, you're like white knuckling for 20 years. That sounds horrible, by the way. Then you'll go right back to drinking just as much or more. But I can tell you that. You can tell people that. We could tell you tell you know, we can shoot it from the rooftop, shout it from the rooftops, but you honestly have to experience and go through it, I think, on your own.

Ruby [00:22:39]:
Yeah. You

Susan [00:22:40]:
do. You do. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. I mean, yeah, I will work with clients. Well but I will I'll be honest with people when they start. If I have a call with someone and their goal is to moderate, and I hear you know, like you said, it's a spectrum, and I hear their story, and I hear where they are in the realistic goal. And I'll just tell them my story based on my experience and and and to normalize it too.

Susan [00:23:11]:
And let's I wanna make this point too. Number 1, what is normal drinking? In society right now, what is normalized is is really binge drinking. Right. You know? Sitting down and having even, you know, people go, well, I only have 2 glasses. Well, how much how many ounces are in those two glasses? Because if there are over 5 ounces, which, of course, they are. Because if you poured me a 5 ounce pour, I'd be like, what kind of chintzy place is this? Like that. You know what I mean? And when I was pouring for myself, hello, you know, I had the biggest wine glasses possible. So, you know, surely, even when I was having 2 glasses, I was probably, you know, as far as serving is goes, I was having, yeah, at least 4 glasses, and that's considered binge drinking.

Ruby [00:23:56]:
Mhmm.

Susan [00:23:57]:
Right? So, also, here's a and I feel like this point too is if you are drinking for self medication purposes, moderation isn't what you're looking for. Right? If you are drinking to self medicate, and that's what you know, if you're drinking To relieve stress.

Ruby [00:24:16]:
Pain. To avoid anxiety.

Susan [00:24:18]:
Avoid those feelings. Mhmm. One glass ain't gonna do it, girl.

Ruby [00:24:22]:
You always want 2. You always want 3. Then it's in in your brain, and you're gonna well, for me, I drank until I passed out. I would just drink until I would fall asleep. Yeah. Yeah. I I get that too.

Susan [00:24:35]:
Is moderation even gonna work for you because of what you want alcohol to do for you? One glass, 1 5 ounce, or even 2 5 ounce glasses is not gonna do the trick. So you're always gonna want more. So you're just starting up that Yeah. Desire again. So it's really important to understand what is normal to you. What is what is normal really you know, what is even normal? Like, I just would love to take that word and throw it out with the garbage because it's just such a word that

Ruby [00:25:04]:
keeps people stuck. Well, yeah. We we I think we did do an episode on just the normal Yeah. Because it yeah. It just keeps people stuck and

Susan [00:25:13]:
but, we'll put that link in the show notes. Okay. When I work with clients who wanna moderate, of course, it's about them and their goals. And I have and if we get to a point where they have significant time alcohol free and they say, well, I wanna moderate, try to moderate. I have 7 questions that I work with clients to set up guardrails for moderation. And we work to really get specific around these questions too. It's like, well, what do you wanna use alcohol for? What is, a lot of times they're like, well, I wanna just be able to drink socially. Well, what does that look like? How often is that? What, you know, and we really work and get very, very specific, have nonnegotiables, and then what are you gonna do? And you have to be willing to really be honest with yourself.

Susan [00:25:57]:
And, also, I'm not gonna be the moderation police or the alcohol police, but I will help you really get specific. And, usually, once we do that, it's like, oh, they're sticking to work. You know?

Ruby [00:26:10]:
For me, when when clients come to me and their goal is to moderate or or figure out how to drink normally in the future, definitely, we we start there. And what happens is I get them curious and experimenting. And then I just my hope and I have so much hope. I think hope is a superpower. Is that after you get a certain amount of time alcohol free and you just feel so much better and you're working on your belief work, that what you believe now that you wanna moderate, you may not believe in the future. So your brain is changing and you actually can change what you want. You we we talk about as as a coach, we're talking about goals all the time, and you can change your goals every single week just a little bit. And over time, all of a sudden, you're like, well, I think I've changed my goal.

Ruby [00:27:11]:
I hear this all the time. I like all of a sudden, they're like, yeah. My goal was to figure out how to drink in the future. And I wanna drink in the future, but now it's changed. Yeah. So if we see this transformation, it's really possible. Yes. And

Susan [00:27:26]:
it yes.

Ruby [00:27:27]:
Yeah. It's really possible.

Susan [00:27:29]:
So Well, that's where if you can suspend that, if you can take that goal and, like, put it on the shelf and go, let's do let's do this work, and then we'll come back to that. Right? Because sometimes I do think keeping that moderation goal or that thought of I'm trying to get back to being a normal drinker is a barrier. It was for me. I could not go all in unless I put that aside. Mhmm. So, yeah, I see that with clients too is they just don't make the progress they're looking to make if they keep that as their prize. Right? Mhmm. Because they're still valuing at all.

Ruby [00:28:06]:
Maybe they have to learn something and go through this cycle. The yes. Yeah.

Susan [00:28:11]:
That's why it's not a one and done. It's not a one and done. It's a it can be a merry-go-round, and you're on and off and on and off and on and off.

Ruby [00:28:19]:
And I love to help people get off. And that's where a coach comes in. If you've been on and off, then on and off this merry-go-round, it's it is. It's painful. We've been there. I've been there for 7 years.

Susan [00:28:31]:
It's the worst.

Ruby [00:28:31]:
So, I just yeah. We'd I we both of us would love to talk to you. Yeah.

Susan [00:28:39]:
So, Ruby, this is my favorite part because you always have such good ideas and so many amazing things you're doing in your life to feel lit. So what are you doing right now in your life to feel lit alcohol free? I love

Ruby [00:28:54]:
this question, of course. So I just heard this idea. So I just yesterday. So I haven't actually been practicing it very long, but I'm going to do it because I think it's such a great idea. It is just taking 10 minutes in the beginning of your day, and you write down what your perfect day is gonna look like as it has already happened. So and you I

Susan [00:29:19]:
love it.

Ruby [00:29:19]:
Feel the feeling. So Perfect day. Yeah. So you're living into your future self, your your your future self of just today. You're just one day at a time. You can also do other, you know, practices where you look at yourself 10 years in the future or whatever, but, like, just write it down. Like, I and so I just did an example. So you wanna, like, live into your future self and feel the feelings because you've heard this before, like, you know, the Olympics or whatever.

Ruby [00:29:43]:
Like, people, they they visualize and feel like they've already won, for example, the the race. So how about this? I'm gonna just read this out. So it's already happened. I woke up at 6:30. I feel refreshed after a great night's sleep. I start my day with a perf, peaceful meditation, followed by a nutritious breakfast of, like, an avocado and fresh fruit. And at 9 AM, I had a work meeting where I was successful and I pitched a new product idea, but then lunch was delicious. I, was at my favorite cafe with a close friend, and we laughed.

Ruby [00:30:26]:
So you wanna laugh, and we caught up. And then in the afternoon, I finished a challenging workout at the gym. I did my my hot yoga, which is what I do. And then I spent some time reading a book that I'm just super excited about. I got to just be quiet. And then the evening, I cooked a lovely dinner and at home and join it with my my spouse or my my friend. And then I, you know, sit down and listen to music, maybe work on a project. And I end the day with a relaxing walk with my trusty bagel boy under the stars.

Ruby [00:31:08]:
And I'm just so grateful and content because today was just joyful. I noticed those joyful moments. I felt accomplished, connected, and at peace throughout. And then do you want that? Do you want that today? Yeah.

Susan [00:31:25]:
I want that. That sounds amazing. Oh. I love that. Yeah. You can

Ruby [00:31:30]:
do that every day and just take, like, 10 minutes and, like, live into that life. Like, think about do you have meetings or lunch? How you you know, maybe, yeah, maybe your meals. Like, I focused on my meals. Right? Breakfast, lunch, dinner. You know? Yeah. And just those moments of joy. Yeah.

Susan [00:31:46]:
Do you like that idea? I love it. I was setting intentions for the day of how I wanna feel as I go through my day, but I love that idea of, like, really looking at your schedule and seeing all the things and seeing yourself being productive, seeing yourself, visualizing yourself, feeling at peace and content. And I love that so much. So good. I would love to hear if you try this. Try some of our feel that things. Please let us know what you resonate with, what's working for you, what you love. And, I think there's more to say about moderation.

Susan [00:32:22]:
I think this is a a a part 2 is coming because I wanna tell I wanna share my story a little bit. I think it's really important to normalize that we all start out our journey pretty much wanting this. You

Ruby [00:32:37]:
know? I think

Susan [00:32:38]:
yeah. How we work through it and how we find success. And, so I think we will come back and have another episode to really dig in. There's even more aspects about this question, and, honestly, we get a lot of questions about moderation. So, we can dive into this some more. So stay tuned. Join us next week for part 2 on moderation, the big m. See you next week.

Susan [00:33:07]:
See you next week. Bye. Bye.

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