Binging, Blackouts, and Beyond: Unpacking the Dangers of Excessive Drinking / Ep. 035

In this episode of the Feel Lit Alcohol-Free Podcast, hosts Susan and Ruby are joined by guest Colleen Clifford, a former chef on a fishing boat. Colleen shares her journey through binge drinking and her decision to lead an alcohol-free lifestyle in her sixties, highlighting her experiences, challenges, and the joy of living an alcohol-free life. The hosts also discuss the dangers of binge drinking, the normalization of excessive alcohol consumption and the impact it can have on individuals' lives.

Colleen talks about her career in the commercial fishing industry and her struggle to leave it, as well as her hobbies and enjoyment of life in her sixties after giving up alcohol. The hosts and Colleen further discuss the importance of brain health and the negative effects of alcohol. Additionally, Colleen shares her business, Pure Potential Health, which focuses on workshops and offering tools for alcohol recovery.

Join hosts Susan and Ruby as they engage in an insightful and candid discussion with Colleen Clifford, providing valuable insights and tools for breaking free from the negative impacts of alcohol.

Guest bio:
As a commercial fisherwoman for 37 years, Colleen was able to mask her binge drinking habit, but always underneath she knew her patterns weren't how she wanted to show up in the world. She was really out of alignment. Especially as she was aging, she didn't want to die with a drinking problem as something she was remembered by. She was able to quit on her own for approx. 3 years, but some tough life experiences gave her an excuse to turn to alcohol once again...8 years later, after alcohol crept back in with its ugly head, it was time for her to stop again. On her own, it was frightening as she wasn't making it past 5 days. Then she jumped on board  This Naked Mind's The Path and with the mind shift that the program offers and all the amazing coaching, she stopped for good, entered the coaching program and now is living her most authentic self ever, at the beautiful age of 60.

We want to hear from you! Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

Find community and connection on the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/feellitalcoholfreepodcast

Watch Episode on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@FeelLitAlcoholFreePodcast/videos

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychologic...

Transcript

Ruby [00:00:32]:
Welcome. Welcome. I'm so excited to record another episode, and we have a special guest today, Colleen Clifford. Welcome. And I'd like to introduce, she's been a commercial fisherwoman for 37 years, and Colleen was able to mask her binge drinking habit. But always underneath, she knew the patterns weren't how she wanted to show up in the world. So I met Colleen as one of her coaches, and she made some amazing mind shift changes.

Ruby [00:01:09]:
So if we were gonna, like, title today's episode, it's about binge drinking, but we wanna get to know Colleen. So, let's start. Colleen, will you just share a bit of your background on your alcohol free journey? And let's get to know you.

Colleen Clifford [00:01:22]:
Absolutely. Hi. I'm so happy to be here. This is just fantastic. So, yes, as you said, I was a binge drinker. Excuse me. I also was a binge eater, but that's a whole nother story, but the binge drinking started as it really escalated in college. I did go to college for a few years.

Colleen Clifford [00:01:44]:
But because of my binge behavior, I dropped out of college. And being a little and I didn't put the 2 together for the longest time, which is kind of interesting. But I met a girlfriend after I dropped out of college. She was a commercial fisherwoman, and we went to a bar, of course, and she's like, hey, Carl. Why don't you come fishing with me? And I was like, what is it? I had no clue. And so it sounded adventurous, and I was like, sign me up because that's my personality. And I get packed my bag, and I get shipped off to a boat, and we, you know, we're sailing to the middle of nowhere. And so with the commercial fishing, we work under contract.

Colleen Clifford [00:02:28]:
So we work a long period of time, maybe 2 or 3 months. We stay on the boat, and then we have 2 or 3 months home. And that's the problem for me. Yeah. It was it was great for traveling. It was a great lifestyle. I didn't wanna have kids or get married at the time. And so, you know, work hard, play hard, and that is what we did.

Colleen Clifford [00:02:49]:
The problem is is that when I would play hard, I'd start to question my drinking and get my I'm a binge drinker, so I'd get myself in situations that I was not proud of, And I'd start thinking, wow, maybe I should quit drinking. Then I'd get on the boat, and I alcohol's not allowed, and so I wouldn't drink for 2 or 3 months. And we always called the boat the floating rehab because so many of us partied hard, and we'd get on the boat, and we dry out. And so then my thought process would be, oh, I don't have a problem. I'm okay. You know? I have my life together. I'm I'm not a bum on the street. I, you know Right.

Colleen Clifford [00:03:30]:
Can take care of myself. So then I'd get home as soon as the boat would hit the dock. I kid you not. We would go straight to the bar and have a binge, and god knows what some stories I have from that. Oh, lordy. I'm gonna it's it's too many to tell. But, so I I could I just participate in that behavior for years. And

Ruby [00:03:51]:
Yeah. I can really relate. Mhmm.

Colleen Clifford [00:03:53]:
Yeah. I'm sure a lot of people. Me too. And the other thing is Yeah. Another Go go ahead. I'm sorry.

Susan [00:04:01]:
Oh, it's just so typical of the gray area drinkers or binge drinking is that you can take time off and then but then you go right back to the same behavior, sometimes worse and worse every time. Right?

Colleen Clifford [00:04:14]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:04:14]:
Yeah. But then you think because I can take time off and no problem, then I don't have a problem. So

Colleen Clifford [00:04:19]:
it keeps us stuck

Susan [00:04:20]:
for a long time.

Colleen Clifford [00:04:22]:
And did you notice, like, I don't know this happened for me, is I was always looking for validation from my friends mostly because my family really have no clue what I was doing with my life. They just know I was on a boat, and then I was home. So, you know, I'd show up to the family things and what have you, but I was always put together when I did that. But little did they know maybe I was partying till 3 AM the night before. So my friends would just validate, and I'm not blaming them or anything, but I would reach out to them and, oh, how was I last night? Oh, you were bad. Call, you just drank too much. You haven't been drinking for a few months, so your tolerance was low. And, you know, you didn't really do anything too terrible.

Colleen Clifford [00:04:59]:
And, so that kept me. Oh, okay. So I guess my friends still love me. I'm not that bad. You know? And so but, you know, I'm Yeah. Yeah. Entering my sixties now. So in my forties fifties, it was like, okay.

Colleen Clifford [00:05:14]:
This has to stop. Like, this isn't pretty anymore. It's not the person I wanna be. I don't want I wanna, you know, it's just not who I wanna be. So Yeah. That's when I really was Yeah. That. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:05:27]:
And then I had one episode with binging because as we know, as bingers, you don't plan things that happen because you're not planning to drink. And so I had my very last day of drinking was unplanned afternoon binge that turned into a 3 AM get home bin, you know, get home. My partner the next morning gave me a look that was like and I knew I was in trouble for myself and for my relationship. He didn't say anything. We didn't actually talk about it for a couple months because he was just so furious. And, and that's when I joined. I ran into this naked mind and was like, okay. I was a little scared, honestly, at that point because I thought I'd be able to quit drinking because I'd done it before, but I was just having this it just kept recurring.

Colleen Clifford [00:06:15]:
And I I really had a period of, oh my gosh. Am I gonna be able to stop? Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:06:22]:
Oh, wow. Your story is so interesting and relatable. I I guess what I'd love to do is go and explore the definition of binge drinking, and why is it so dangerous, and how is it so dangerous? Because I think maybe people don't even understand what the definition of it is. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:06:43]:
Yes. And as it's a gray area, it's easy too, but there's cut well, the 2 definitions I've found, one's from the dictionary, Merriam Webster, and I'm just gonna read it off to you. It's a unrestrained and often excessive indulgence. And so in the sense of eating or drinking, it's just we went on a binge drinking, so you too much of it. But it also obviously could be like a we say, oh, I binged on TV, or so it's it's that type of behavior. But the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines it as a pattern of drinking alcohol that brings blood alcohol concentration to 0.08 grams of alcohol or higher for a typical adult. A woman, that's, like, 4 or more drinks in 2 hours. Right.

Colleen Clifford [00:07:33]:
So that's a binge. And then it usually continues. I mean, who stops at 4? Honestly, I didn't. So I don't know. Maybe some people do. I didn't. Yeah. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:07:44]:
So that's that's the definition of a binge. And did you want me to go into the dangers of it?

Ruby [00:07:52]:
Yeah. Please. I'm very interested in that and what you've come up

Colleen Clifford [00:07:56]:
with. Mhmm. Okay. So this was a big one for me, not prepared to get home. Injuries. Mhmm. Another one for me. Car crashes.

Colleen Clifford [00:08:07]:
Ending up in a compromising situation. Falls, me again, medication interactions, alcohol overdoses, you could commit or become a victim of violence, engaging in unsafe sexual behavior, missing commitments, waking up not knowing where you are, of course, feeling horrible the next day. And the biggest one I feel well, I guess there's a few really big ones in there is blackouts, memory lapses. And

Ruby [00:08:45]:
Yeah. So scary.

Colleen Clifford [00:08:47]:
And the blackout is yeah. I I don't know. Yeah. You know? I would I don't know. I can't really say I know I've had blackouts before where I, you know, and and some people might say, well, what's a blackout? And that's just where your your memory is stored in your hippocampus, the region of your brain. And when you consume too much alcohol too quick, it interferes with the neurons in your hippocampus, so that it can't allow them to consolidate the short term memories. And so it just, like, it it just can't keep up with the, it's trying to get rid of the alcohol out of your system. So it's like, woah.

Colleen Clifford [00:09:27]:
Overload. Overload. And so so it just can't store those memories in your brain. And so it's just it you know it depends on each person's different on your body size how you metabolize alcohol. And that that thing. So some people might have more blackouts than others. Some people may never have blackouts, but but it's just it's a memory gap in your in your evening of drinking. Mhmm.

Colleen Clifford [00:09:52]:
And there's also blackouts that can happen that aren't alcohol related, but this is alcohol related blackouts. Oh, interesting.

Ruby [00:09:58]:
Yeah. I understand blackouts is, like, from a person watching someone, you look normal. You're talking. You're you're moving. You're you're operating like you're awake and making memories, but you're not making any memories. That's, to me, is is so scary. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:10:17]:
It is.

Susan [00:10:18]:
Sad. Well,

Colleen Clifford [00:10:19]:
it is. Yeah.

Susan [00:10:21]:
Yeah. It's like your subconscious brain takes over your behavior, not your prefrontal cortex. Is it engaged? And what does John Mulaney calls it? It's like your your brain is offline, but your body just keeps soldiering on. So you're just out there in the world doing stuff, and, you know, your brain is not engaged. So it's sort of like you're brainless, you know, as far as

Colleen Clifford [00:10:44]:
what you're doing. I know. Terrifying. Terrifying. Yeah. Your friend will tell you, oh, this is what you did yesterday. And I'll be like, I did. Oh my gosh.

Ruby [00:10:54]:
I wouldn't Really? Like, I would never do that, but you did it. Exactly.

Colleen Clifford [00:10:59]:
And if that's not a reason to stop, oh, my gosh, you know. I just Well,

Susan [00:11:04]:
they normalize that, though. All the things you were talking about, the dangers of binge drinking just made me think of college students.

Colleen Clifford [00:11:12]:
College.

Susan [00:11:12]:
How normalized binge drinking is in college, and then all of those scary things and especially girls or young women in college being susceptible to, you know, compromising situations, and it's just awful.

Ruby [00:11:30]:
Yeah. Very scary.

Susan [00:11:32]:
And it's so normalized to binge drink. You know, when you see the kegs and then, you know, that's it's it's glamorized, you know, and just getting the word out about it also it can accelerate alcohol use disorder. Binge drinking accelerates the disorder, so you're gonna go faster to getting to a point where you really have a disordered drinking problem. And, and that's something people should know because, like, if you're engaging in binge drinking in college, you are probably more likely going to develop an alcohol use disorder.

Ruby [00:12:06]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:12:07]:
If not then, later, and especially if you don't stop drinking. Even if you, like, switch over to wine as a young mom or something in the thirties, that's just what we're seeing in different clients now is women in their thirties going having liver problems because of the now normalized mommy drinking. You know? It used to be kind of you drank in college, then you became a you know, you got married,

Colleen Clifford [00:12:33]:
became a mom, and, like, drinking at least in my

Susan [00:12:33]:
story, drinking wasn't really part of my story when I was a young mom. But I was that you know, my kids are in their late twenties, so I it was before the whole mommy wine culture. Then the mommy wine culture kinda came along, and everybody goes from college drinking to drinking as a mom to to parent. You know? It's just Yeah. It's just too bad to see that happen. And then,

Ruby [00:12:57]:
yeah. It's

Colleen Clifford [00:12:58]:
I'm so glad you brought that up, Susan, because the college drinking was a huge part of my story. And it I'd love

Ruby [00:13:04]:
to hear that.

Colleen Clifford [00:13:05]:
On a traject well, because of the binge drinking, you know, I would engage in activities that weren't, safe for me. And and I wouldn't show up for class because I'm not really a type a person. I get things done, but at the end of the day when I'm not feeling well, I'm not gonna soldier through, and I wouldn't show up to commitments. And so I ended up just having to drop out. And I didn't tell my folks for the longest time because I was terrified to tell them, and I had this story in my mind that they were gonna not love me anymore. But once I finally did tell them, you know, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. But but with the passion of the binge drinking in college, that's I wanna take this message to college students. And as a coach, that's that's the direction I wanna go to be supportive because it's just it can ruin your life.

Colleen Clifford [00:14:01]:
One one bad choice can ruin your life.

Susan [00:14:05]:
Absolutely.

Colleen Clifford [00:14:06]:
And, especially around alcohol. So

Ruby [00:14:10]:
That's a sub that's a area of people.

Colleen Clifford [00:14:13]:
Yes. Yeah.

Ruby [00:14:14]:
So thank you. Thank you, Pauline. That's

Colleen Clifford [00:14:17]:
Yeah. Well, you know, and as you mentioned, Susan, I I really believe, and, you know, this is just a hypothesis. But if I hadn't gotten the job on the boat and and been physically removed from being able to drink alcohol, I would have been on that trajectory because I had no awareness of my issue really. It it it wasn't really in my consciousness then. And so but then it kinda created that other problem of of great drinking, like, you know, the back and forth of I have a problem, I don't. I have a problem, I don't. But Yeah. But at least I wasn't a continual I think it helped save my liver a bit because I was it had time to recover.

Colleen Clifford [00:14:59]:
And that's the other thing about Yeah.

Ruby [00:15:00]:
You would heal. Retox.

Colleen Clifford [00:15:02]:
We talk

Ruby [00:15:02]:
about that. Detox, retox. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:15:06]:
Exactly. And and now as I'm aging and I'm into my sixties, I'm really into the brain health because I never considered it before. You know, as young as a young person, I I just took my brain for granted. And now I have a family member with dementia, and I just I'm just really into brain health. And alcohol and brain health are not cohesive. It's just the damage we do to our brains. It's just if I could go back and relive my life, you know, just taking more care of my brain.

Ruby [00:15:38]:
Mhmm.

Colleen Clifford [00:15:38]:
I just wish I could. You know? That's a a big regret I have.

Susan [00:15:42]:
Yeah. Yeah. Doctor Amen, when he goes, he says, you know, why don't I drink alcohol? Because I love my brain.

Colleen Clifford [00:15:49]:
You know what? That's what I tell people now. That's exactly what I tell people now. I took the Doctor. Amen course too. I love him.

Ruby [00:15:56]:
Yeah. Yeah. I love him.

Colleen Clifford [00:15:58]:
Well I'm a brain warrior.

Susan [00:16:00]:
New information. Yay. I know. Well, it's new information, though. They don't teach you this even in DARE or whatever when we we don't really learn that alcohol is a drug. Right? We don't learn that it's something we need to be careful around. I mean, I wanna go even earlier than college into the high schools and the junior highs. And even how do you talk to your kids about alcohol, and then, like, what behavior are you modeling for them? Do they see you come home from a long day and drink? And that's like, oh, this is what parents and adults do when you're stressed.

Susan [00:16:29]:
You know?

Colleen Clifford [00:16:30]:
Mhmm. What are we modeling?

Susan [00:16:32]:
And just be very clear that alcohol is a drug, and it's something to be careful around.

Ruby [00:16:37]:
Yeah. I'd love to To check.

Susan [00:16:39]:
Oh, I wanna mention that, you know, Colleen had this, you know, the the binge where she had, like, 2 weeks off or however long she was on the boat. I had the weekend thing. So I would take the whole week off and then drink on the weekend. That was my detox to retox cycle. Same, though, then it would be sometimes okay, sometimes only 2 or 3 glasses, you know, if we went out. But then other nights on the weekend, usually, one of them would be enough alcohol that you would be considered binge drinking. So if you can you know, one bottle of wine in 2 hours would be considered binge drinking. And I think there's a lot of women out there that are like, oh, I can drink a bottle of wine.

Susan [00:17:16]:
No problem. By myself. And it's like, okay. But that and not realize that that actually is binge drinking.

Ruby [00:17:23]:
Yes.

Colleen Clifford [00:17:24]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:17:25]:
A lot of times.

Colleen Clifford [00:17:26]:
And that's another reason Tips. Go ahead. Oh. Oh, yes. Some tips. Well, yes. Some tips on how people may not appear to stop drinking. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:17:38]:
Okay. So the did you hear that one, the stop drinking? Yeah. That would solve all your problems. But, the tip that really helped me, which I don't know if it's 1 I I so for my pattern when I was home, I would start wanting to drink around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. And, fortunately, it wasn't a 247, I wanna drink type of pattern that I had. But so what I would do, the tip, what I would eat. I would eat something of substance, and it really for 1, it it it filled my stomach. So I knew that if I drank, I wasn't going to get that buzz as quickly.

Colleen Clifford [00:18:20]:
And I'm a calorie conscious person I like to stay a certain size and so it would be eat or drink right and that's what a lot of women do I think And so, oftentimes when I so I would eat, and that would actually take away my craving. And Mhmm. And almost 99% of the time, I would not drink at that time of day. But I'd have to eat more than just like cheese and crackers. I would make a solid meal, and then I I could ride it out. I'd go for a walk after that or something. I've I have a lot of hobbies, and so it would be distracting myself after that point. But eating was the number one for me.

Colleen Clifford [00:19:03]:
Another huge helpful tip for me that worked for me was having non alcoholic beverages in my fridge. The times that I just really, really, really wanted a beer, I was a beer drinker, And there's many great ones out there now. Thank God. Because the last time I quit drinking, there there was only one option, and I didn't like it. So What

Ruby [00:19:25]:
are some of your favorites?

Colleen Clifford [00:19:27]:
I like the athletic brew. It's my favorite.

Susan [00:19:31]:
Yeah. Yeah. Good one. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:19:32]:
Yeah. They're and they're also a wonderful company. They actually sent me some beer one time. I was doing a, a health workshop at a place, and they they let me promote their beer. So that was cool. I was kinda shocked. They brought it to my doorstep. That was so cool.

Ruby [00:19:49]:
Wow. Anyway,

Colleen Clifford [00:19:50]:
so That's so great. Yeah. So non alcohol beverages is another huge, helpful tip for me That worked for me, and maybe it could work for the for the listeners. I didn't, finding alternative activities. You could set limits. That one never worked for me, but it it does. I have a really good friend who does set limits, and it works for her. So setting limits

Ruby [00:20:18]:
Will you describe that? What does that mean, to

Colleen Clifford [00:20:21]:
set limits? Yes. Only allows herself 2 beers in an event. Like, say, we're getting together. The girls are getting together 2 beverages, and she spaces it out. She's very, like, I I'm impressed by this. She'll space it out, and then she'll also drink water in between the 2. And she stops at 2. And I just Good for her.

Colleen Clifford [00:20:44]:
Yeah. More

Ruby [00:20:45]:
color. Yeah. Good for her. That wasn't mine. Yeah. That's

Colleen Clifford [00:20:48]:
to me after 2, I was like, okay. Bring it on, you know. I'll everything's out the window. Right? So that didn't work for me either. But and then the other one is to get support. You know, it's I really am a person who likes to do things on my own. It's like, oh, I got this, you know, commercial for sure. And you can imagine, you know, I'm tough, I'm strong, I don't need any help.

Colleen Clifford [00:21:10]:
But I finally reached out for help in my journey, And I just just it was just incredible. So reaching out for help is is another Yeah. If you can't if you're not doing it tomorrow. Great tips. Those are the ones.

Ruby [00:21:26]:
I don't know how many times Yes. Your whole dinner then, not just, like you said, cheese and crackers. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:21:33]:
Yes. Yeah. I I I actually early dinner. Mhmm. And that's a huge, great plan for weight control as well because I believe we overconsume in our society and food. Well, lots of things, but food especially. And just I learned that on the boat because I cook on the boat. I don't I don't think I said that.

Colleen Clifford [00:21:54]:
I'm the chef on the boat, and so I can eat whenever I want. Yeah. So I I just learned my normal eating habits are, and I didn't even know I was doing this, the 16 hour fast of I just eat breakfast around 11, and then I get really hungry around 2, and I would eat dinner. And then I'd snack something, you know, a lot of times it's sorbet at night. And so But whatever. Right?

Susan [00:22:21]:
Yeah. Yeah. Whatever works.

Ruby [00:22:23]:
No. I love that.

Colleen Clifford [00:22:25]:
Yeah. It really works. That's a great yeah. It's a great thing to incorporate in your life. My mom's on it now, so I'm glad she's the 2 meal kind of

Ruby [00:22:36]:
Awesome. I'm I'm on the 2 meal as well, intermittent fast. I have my Yeah.

Susan [00:22:40]:
Well, I think reminding I had to also remind myself that that it wasn't just one. Like, I wasn't like your friend who could just limit. You know, I tried that. I think it depends on when you get off the train as we talk about the alcohol use disorder training. And at a certain point, you know, if you get off earlier and your out your disorder hasn't gotten so far, you may be able to engage in the limiting you know, everybody is different. I just couldn't do that. It was I actually have a pretty low tolerance, so even one drink would get me tipsy enough to then, you know, forget it. All bets were off, and then I kept going.

Susan [00:23:22]:
Right? It just so just reminding myself that it's not gonna just be 1 and that, you know, surrendering to that and just saying, okay. This this works for me and my lifestyle. Like, your first tip, which was just quit. You know? Just keep going. An alcohol free lifestyle. Yeah. The very first one was so but the eating definitely with clients, I say, you know, if they're eating normally and don't do, like, 16 I don't do a 16 hour fast. Just have a protein snack around 3 or 4 if you start to have cravings around 5 or whenever.

Susan [00:23:57]:
You know, late afternoon is when you start thinking because this low blood sugar, the affect in your body of the low blood sugar can trigger the thoughts of, you know, of what you know, the remedy is alcohol to to get your blood sugar under regulation. So a handful of nuts or cheese stick or whatever is is something that really helps people. But distraction too, you know, when you are in that craving cycle, distraction is a great Yeah. A lot of resource too. Yes.

Ruby [00:24:28]:
That one I hear a lot too. That worked for me.

Colleen Clifford [00:24:31]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:24:31]:
Yeah. Wow. Well, Colleen Susan,

Colleen Clifford [00:24:34]:
is there Oh, I was

Ruby [00:24:35]:
Yeah. Go ahead.

Colleen Clifford [00:24:35]:
I I was just gonna say, Susan, with the point you made about it's it wasn't gonna be 1, that that played in my head as well, especially when I was at a a point of being tired of my behavior. And and that was the hardest part for me to accept in my whole journey because I wanted to drink, and I wanted to moderate. And for years, I kept trying and and failing. I mean, it wasn't like every time I drank, I binge drink. It was the there was the surprise time that I wasn't planning on it. And so once I realized, oh, hey, I have to just stop. And that that was the once I finally accepted that, then it was pretty I don't wanna say easy, but it got a lot easier.

Susan [00:25:20]:
Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That surrender. And that cycle, though, just kills your, like, self worth. That's what it was for me is I just was hating myself. But for me, I was also just, like, I wanted to be normal, and I just saw, like, oh, if I don't drink, I'm not normal because you know what I mean? And I was really in that black and white thinking, which is a myth, you know, that you know? And once I learned that, oh, I am normal, my body and brain is reacting to an addictive substance the way it should.

Susan [00:25:53]:
So if I actually am normal, and I could just throw that out the window. And then, like, what's the best for me? It came to that play place of acceptance, like you said. And then, okay, now what am I gonna do about it? Taking responsibility. And then what is the best thing for me, which is to just stop this cycle of

Colleen Clifford [00:26:10]:
Mhmm.

Susan [00:26:11]:
Keep you know, it's like the met you know, the definition of insanity. Keep trying the same thing and getting the same results. It's like, okay. I finally give up. You know?

Colleen Clifford [00:26:20]:
And So

Ruby [00:26:21]:
and for me, it was also about

Colleen Clifford [00:26:23]:
Well, I I love that question. No one's ever asked me this, but I I have tried to to exit the commercial fishing industry for 37 years. And it's just a lot started? Well, just about. But, it's a love hate relationship, and so it's you know, one time I stopped for 5 5 years and was a realtor. One time I stopped and became a dog groomer. I mean, but I just inevitably someone calls me and says, hey. Do you want this job? I mean, it just and I would, you know, wasn't making so much money grooming dogs. I was like, okay.

Colleen Clifford [00:26:56]:
I should probably finish. Not ready to retire yet, you know, that kind of thing. So but as far as the drinking bit, I think I don't think it it was my job. I think it was me. Okay. And so it it it was, and that's the thing with drinking. It's, you know, sometimes I would say to my friends, if they wanna go to the bar, great. But, you know, I'm gonna say no.

Colleen Clifford [00:27:19]:
Yeah. At the point

Ruby [00:27:21]:
Awesome. So it sounds like And I'm so excited about asking, but I love to ask our guests.

Colleen Clifford [00:27:25]:
What? Well, that's, I do a lot. I am a Gemini. I don't know if you know about Geminis, but we're kinda crazy people. I love to ride horses. I I am so I'm entering my sixties. This is the happiest time of my life, this decade. I'm so excited. I dished alcohol in my fifties, and I just so realized how much fun I can have not drinking everywhere I go.

Colleen Clifford [00:27:51]:
And I'm just so happy to be have this opportunity. It may sound corny, but every day I'm just so happy to be healthy and alive. And it doesn't take much for me to feel lit because I just feel so blessed where I'm at. And I don't know if this is helpful to your listeners, but I'm just so happy to be me and be here and be alcohol free. And also now I'm trying to help others find their lit because we've been conned our whole life. Right? That we need alcohol to have fun. And it's we're we're this, you know, just that's the message to share with people is, you know, we're just we don't need it. We don't need it.

Ruby [00:28:35]:
We don't need it.

Susan [00:28:37]:
We need it.

Ruby [00:28:37]:
I love that.

Colleen Clifford [00:28:38]:
I love that. I love that.

Susan [00:28:40]:
Giving back, helping others, getting

Susan [00:28:42]:
the message out there. That helps you feel lit. I know every time I talk about it, I feel lit. You know? My little signature line is it's a lifestyle, not a life sentence because people think it's in terms like

Colleen Clifford [00:28:55]:
That is great.

Ruby [00:28:57]:
I came up with that

Susan [00:28:57]:
with when I was talking to my brother once when we're on vacation, and he was just like, why are you doing this? I'm like, it's not

Susan [00:29:03]:
like, everybody thinks I'm like,

Colleen Clifford [00:29:05]:
oh, it's gonna be horrible

Susan [00:29:06]:
if you stop drinking. I'm like, no. It's not. It's Exactly. Yeah.

Ruby [00:29:11]:
Mention that.

Colleen Clifford [00:29:12]:
That's beautiful. Yes. It's amazing. Both of us are beautiful. Yeah. Okay. So they can find me online at colleen excuse me. My my business name is pure potential dot health.

Colleen Clifford [00:29:24]:
So I do have that website. I did open an Instagram account. So my business is new a couple years. So I'm new to the social media thing. So I have an Instagram account, pure potential dot health. I'm embracing that. And yeah. So what's new for me because I still I have 4 more years to fish, and then I'll be actually be able to step away from that.

Colleen Clifford [00:29:48]:
And so right now I work about 5 months in the industry. And so when I'm home, I've been working on developing workshops. So I'm offering a free virtual workshop on crushing your cravings and that's coming up May 18th. And if you wanna sign up for that, you just can go to my website, or you can just email me at colleenecoleen atpurepotential.health, and I'll just shoot you the Zoom link. It's only gonna be an hour. And so I wanna get really, really good at these workshops and take them to, like, the YMCA. I have a lot of visions. I don't have any Awesome.

Colleen Clifford [00:30:28]:
So So it's

Susan [00:30:29]:
a good thing we have energy. Right?

Colleen Clifford [00:30:31]:
Exactly. Yeah. And that's the beautiful thing is entering my sixties, I I feel like I'm ramping up, not slowing down. And I just love

Ruby [00:30:39]:
it. Me too.

Colleen Clifford [00:30:40]:
So yeah. I just love it. Yeah. I'm excited.

Ruby [00:30:44]:
Well, thank you.

Susan [00:30:45]:
Act threes.

Colleen Clifford [00:30:46]:
Yeah. Exactly.

Ruby [00:30:48]:
Act 3 so much, Colleen. This has been great.

Colleen Clifford [00:30:51]:
Well, thank you. It's been a lot of great fun.

Ruby [00:30:54]:
Okay. Yeah.

Colleen Clifford [00:30:55]:
It's been great. Thanks. Bye. Bye.

Ruby [00:30:59]:
Thanks so much for listening to Feel It Alcohol Free Podcast. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show?

Susan [00:31:06]:
All you need to do is head over to Apple Podcasts and do 2 simple things. Leave a rating and review telling us what you think of the show. And in that review, ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol free lifestyle. That's it. Then tune in to hear your question answered live.

Ruby [00:31:26]:
Don't forget to grab your copy of a wine free weekend at www.feelitpodcast.com.

Susan [00:31:33]:
And remember, do something today that will help you feel lit. See you next time.