The Journey Continues: Tips for Embracing the Alcohol-Free Life Beyond 6 months /EP. 022

In this episode of the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast, hosts Susan Larkin and Ruby Williams delve into the alcohol-free stages and provide a timeline of what to expect from days 180 to 365 of an alcohol-free journey. The hosts draw from their personal experiences as former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches to shed light on the challenges, milestones, and tactics for navigating the later stages of an alcohol-free lifestyle.

The episode kicks off with a recap of the previous discussion, addressing the initial months, cycles of drinking, feelings of gratitude, and the process of finding oneself on the journey. As the timeline progresses to the 6-11 month stage, Susan and Ruby emphasize the importance of experiencing gratitude for the simple things and recognizing moments that were previously overshadowed by alcohol.

Moving into the one-year mark, the hosts touch on the aspect of grieving for alcohol during special occasions and the shift towards embracing the positives of an alcohol-free life. They address the ongoing challenges of dealing with unexpected triggers and the need to equip oneself with emotional and thought mastery to successfully navigate the journey.

The episode concludes with a discussion on the practices of stillness and connecting with nature as tools for regulating the nervous system, calming the mind, and grounding oneself. Susan and Ruby also encourage listeners to submit their questions for the show and share their wine free weekend guide available at www.feelitpodcast.com.

Tune in to gain valuable insights and tactics for navigating the stages of an alcohol-free lifestyle, and discover how to navigate the emotional and mental aspects for a fulfilling alcohol-free journey.


Keywords
alcohol free, wine, alcohol freedom, stages, cycles of drinking, tactics, milestones, gratitude, present, sunrise, sunset, curiosity, awareness, recalibrate, healing, next stage, grieving alcohol, closure, thought management, coping mechanism, challenges, brainstorm, emotional mastery, thought mastery, countercultural, mindful walking, nature connection, stress reduction, grounding, calmness, mother earth

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Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Transcript

Ruby [00:00:32]:
Welcome. Welcome. This is part 2. I'm so excited. We did part 1 last week, and we decided to break it into 2 pieces. So if you haven't heard last week's episode, please go there first and then come here. So what we're doing is we're answering the question, you know, what were the alcohol free stages like for you, coach Susan and coach Ruby? And can you provide a timeline so I know what to expect? So this is the kind of question we asked, and I'll just give you a real quick synopsis of what we talked about last week just to get you on track since this might have been a week.

Ruby [00:01:18]:
We went into the 1st month and what it's like and how you might be in cycles of drinking and alcohol free days for quite a while, and then we went into, you know, months to or 60 days to 90 days and looking at what's going on there. And we also provided some cool tools and tactics for each of these kinds of stages. And we all wanna, like, let you know that these were our stages. These were our experiences, and you might be experiencing something different. We briefly touched on feeling better, but also feeling maybe crappy too, like, that that happens, and then moving through different milestones and figuring out who you really are on this journey. And we also talked about getting curious and aware. And so those are kind of the things we'll talk about probably in almost every episode. And just really digging into what you were using alcohol for, changing your beliefs, There's a lot of work that needs to happen for your body and brain and emotions to recalibrate, to heal.

Ruby [00:02:24]:
So a lot happens in the 1st 6 months, really. And then you might even start to be we ended with, you know, maybe you're looking at the next big domino, which means what's next for you? If you start to feel like you have alcohol under you know, some somewhat under control and you're, like, wondering, well, what's next? So this is my perfect segue to go into, like, what's next? So, yeah. So, like, let's talk about, say, 6 months to 11 months. You know? So let's call that as maybe the next stage, and you're starting to really, I say, feel grateful. I wanna talk about gratitude, and that's gonna be my tactic. It was such an important tactic for me to feel more happy, if you start to feel more gratitude for the little simple things. Maybe you're more present. You notice, like, that sunset, or you notice that you're waking up at sunrise.

Ruby [00:03:23]:
Right? Sunrise and sunset. Those were 2 things that when I was drinking, I was usually drinking by sunset, so I don't I didn't experience the full thing. And then I was, like, hungover or brain fog and hitting snooze, right, in the mornings. So just the little things, the little if your alcohol may not last and Yeah.

Susan [00:03:44]:
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Well, I think, yeah, homing in what's the next domino. It also may be a time you grieve alcohol over again because, you know, if you haven't had any holidays yet in the 1st 6 months, you're definitely gonna have them. But if you're going through a whole year, you're gonna start so so maybe, you know, you start to think, oh, like, I think this was at the point I was yeah. This was the point where it was about 9 months when I went to New York and went out to dinner with my daughter and sort of saw all the twinkle lights and all the glowing wine glasses. And it was sort of like this, oh, you know, that and if you were a big romanticizer, like, that was that was sort of the last area where I was really holding on to alcohol was, like, for special events and special dinners.

Susan [00:04:34]:
But that's also where I'm grateful. I'm so grateful I had this thought in that moment because I was starting to feel a little like, you know, like, something I can't do, you know, and this is so fun, and look, it's all romantic, etcetera, etcetera. And I just had that thought, and I think I've said this on the podcast before where it was like, oh, I can look at this and say it's beautiful, but also say that I this isn't for me because just like you, oh, just like you could smell a vegetarian could smell a hamburger and say, oh, that smells really good, but I don't eat meat. And you have a reason, and you have convictions for the reason why you don't eat meat. Same for me. Like, I can say, oh, all the wine glasses and the beautiful, you know, tables and the twinkle lights all look so romantic and beautiful, but I don't drink alcohol. Like, I could still have and the mocktails out there are getting so much better. You can have a super fancy drink in a super fancy glass.

Susan [00:05:31]:
That's all I really want. I want a fancy drink in a fancy glass. It doesn't have to have any ethanol in it. You know? And so Yeah. That kind of mindset shift really helped me over the hump of grieving that aspect of alcohol.

Ruby [00:05:46]:
Yeah. And we did and we did talk. Yes. Yes.

Susan [00:05:49]:
I love that. I love that. Like, now it's really time. I mean, you may have said goodbye before, but now it's, like, really goodbye.

Ruby [00:05:57]:
Yeah. A letter can make it, like, closure. And you can Yes. That really move them.

Susan [00:06:04]:
Yeah. Move you forward. That's what's Move you forward.

Susan [00:06:06]:
Towards your goals.

Susan [00:06:08]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:06:08]:
What's your year? Really?

Susan [00:06:10]:
Plan.

Ruby [00:06:10]:
Like, oh, I can do this. I've definitely Yeah. Wanna say that. Right? I love

Susan [00:06:14]:
Yeah. Yeah. But you're also embracing you're not saying you're embracing the positives of forever. I get to do this forever, which is different than I can't do this forever. That's a totally

Ruby [00:06:27]:
different thing. Right? Yes. I see it as Yeah.

Susan [00:06:32]:
We are the luckiest. Yeah. Yeah. You start to move into that. My 1 year story. Yeah. I felt great at 1 year, but or and life still is life y.

Ruby [00:06:44]:
Mhmm.

Susan [00:06:45]:
And as you move through life, you will continue to have circumstances that will challenge, especially if you use alcohol as a coping mechanism. And this is where we were I was 1 year alcohol free, and we went to Mexico, And that's where they canceled our flight, and then I couldn't get anybody on the phone to get out to to book another flight. And it was and I started to get very I got I was in fight or flight. Like, I was completely when you say blown, I was blown. Like, I was my brain thinking brain was offline. I was in total, like, survival mode for whatever reason. And I did not drink, but I came pretty close. You know? Like so I just bring that up because, you know, it's not you're not home free at a year for, again, urges.

Susan [00:07:34]:
We talked about this the last episode that and, like you said, planning for the FFTs. So maybe maybe a vacation is, you know, within the 1st year or, you know, just maybe you haven't been to a funeral yet. The FFTs go on even into the 2nd year, even into, you know

Ruby [00:07:52]:
Even into the 3rd year,

Susan [00:07:54]:
4th year. Into the 3rd year. Yeah. Alcohol free living isn't a magic bullet. Life is still lifey. Things will still happen to you. You know? And and you now hopefully have the tools to be able to deal with them in a much more positive way and not use alcohol as a coping mechanism. That does not mean that it's not gonna come up is a thought.

Susan [00:08:16]:
As, oh, remember that tool? You know? You this you know? And it's just a thought. It's just a thought. It's just a thought. So so, you know, people are like, when is this gonna end? Is this gonna end? What when? You know? Like, when am I gonna stop having these thoughts? Is it 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 1 year? It's like, well, I don't know. That's, you know, probably thoughts are thoughts, but you don't need to act on them, and we don't need to believe them. Right? So Right. Just learning how to manage your mind, I would say that that's probably the most important thing to do in the last 6 months. The next domino is to really start to learn about your thoughts and how to manage your mind.

Susan [00:08:57]:
That will give you the the the tools. I say, you know, when once you can do that, you feel like you can go anywhere and do anything alcohol free because you know that you have that skill. Yeah. Mhmm. So

Ruby [00:09:11]:
So important. I'm glad you brought that up, Jager. Yes. As a as a late that's I'm so glad you brought that up. Talking about it again and again. Yeah. Yeah.

Susan [00:09:21]:
I would say that that's mostly what I work on with my clients. We you know, the first 30 to 60 days is is all about tools, about getting alcohol free and and your lifestyle, and then all the rest is about. And I weave it in in the beginning of my coaching too. It's just learning about your thoughts and your feelings. And yeah. Yeah. It's really about building those skills to building the awareness about the emotional and thought mastery in order to create the life you wanna wake up to. And I it was really interesting because I was talking to a client.

Susan [00:09:57]:
They're like, I don't wanna remake my life. And I'm thinking and I started thinking. I'm like, my life, is it any different than it was when I was drinking? It's, it's super different up here in my brain and pointing to my brain and in my heart and in my soul and in my body, but the circumstances of my life have not changed at all. I still live in the same house, same husband, same kids, same job. Everything's the same. I didn't remake my I remade my life from the inside out.

Ruby [00:10:25]:
I love that. It's an inside job. Yeah.

Susan [00:10:28]:
It's an inside job. Yes. I always say, like, if you can get this you know, I'm making a circle between your brain and your heart. If you get this thick fixed, then then this, the drinking fixes itself, so to speak. But yeah. And then after a year, you're on your way to 2 years. It's really sort of your AFAF. Whoop whoop.

Ruby [00:10:55]:
No. I feel like a badass. Right? We talk about badass.

Susan [00:10:57]:
We do.

Ruby [00:10:58]:
This is when you start to feel like a badass. Really?

Susan [00:11:01]:
Yeah. And instead of I know. It's so exciting. Yeah. Every now and then, I would say, Siri, how many days has it been since June 1st 2020? And then she would say those days, and I'm like, oh. Wow. And if it was a really cool, like, round number, then I would text one of my old buddies that also is alcohol you know, still alcohol free and go, guess how many days we have? Just for fun. But it's still it is an amazing accomplishment because we are still going countercultural culture even though there's a there's a huge movement, sober curious, and alcohol free movement, and so many people embracing the alcohol free lifestyle.

Susan [00:11:39]:
It seems like because I'm in that world. But the minute you step out, like, I'll go visit my family and then or be be more around, you know, people who still drink and stuff. And they're always like, you're still not drinking? You know? Or, wow. It's been 2 years, 3 years, almost 4 years. Wow. That's amazing. They're always so amazed. You know? And so then, you know, really is still a a pretty amazing thing to choose not to drink in our society.

Ruby [00:12:28]:
So, Susan

Susan [00:12:29]:
Oh, yay. What? Oh, okay. So I recently started, it's called sitting in stillness, or I would say walking in in stillness. So I I walk, go on my I have a 2 mile loop, and I go on the 2 mile loop block, and I don't listen to music or a podcast. I don't bring my phone. It's just me. And I'm just in stillness and just in my brain and and and just just and connecting with nature. We talked about that the last episode, but there is this practice of just looking up or gazing at the trees, and we have a lot of trees in my area.

Susan [00:13:08]:
And so I just gaze up at the branches. There's actually a scientific way to help regulate your nervous system, and it's called refracting. Because the fractal patterns that the branches and the twigs and the sky create, the when your eyes, when your, vision, like, connects with that and sees those patterns, it's actually calming to your nervous system. It's actually a stress reduction method. Yeah. Isn't that cool?

Ruby [00:13:38]:
I didn't know this. I'm learning from you. Yeah.

Susan [00:13:42]:
Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know if I explained it right, but so it's a you know, it's just a physiological resonance that occurs when you see these patterns in nature. I just think that's so cool that God, like, made us, like, to and same with, you know, getting your toes in the ground and and grass and stuff is that, like, by reconnecting with nature, we replenish our nervous systems that that is and we think about how much time we spend sitting in chairs, sitting in office buildings with artificial light, with shoes rubber shoes on our feet, like you said, you know, last episode, and getting back to nature as a way to regulate your nervous system. So I've been ex doing that because usually I'm a multitask or maniac, you know, and I'm like, I'm gonna walk, get my exercise, I'm gonna listen to a podcast, and, you know, write 5 lists, you know, during my 2 mile walk, you know. And it it almost seems indulgent to go, okay. I'm not gonna do any of this, you know, anything else except walk and look at the trees and just breathe and just be calm. And I do feel much calmer and much more grounded after that experience.

Susan [00:14:57]:
And so you can also do it just sitting in stillness, like, in the backyard. But instead of even just, like, closing your eyes, just by looking up at the trees and and sort of feeling the wind on your face, just sitting in stillness for a moment. You can also if you can't go for a walk and look at the trees, you know, just taking 5 minutes to sit in stillness and just gaze up at nature at the trees.

Ruby [00:15:20]:
I love this. And I

Susan [00:15:21]:
Awesome. That's so great. Oh, that's wonderful. Of course, you already do it. You're like mother earth.

Ruby [00:15:28]:
So this

Susan [00:15:28]:
is fun.

Ruby [00:15:29]:
We might do it again.

Susan [00:15:30]:
This is our first our FFT.

Ruby [00:15:31]:
I know. Yeah. Thank you again.


Ruby [00:15:35]:
Thanks so much for listening to Feel It Alcohol Free Podcast. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show?

Susan [00:15:42]:
All you need to do is head over to Apple Podcasts and do 2 simple things. Leave a rating and review telling us what you think of the show and in that review, ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol free lifestyle. That's it. Then tune in to hear your question answered live.

Ruby [00:16:02]:
Don't forget to grab your copy of a wine free weekend at www.feelipodcast.com.

Susan [00:16:08]:
And remember, do something today that will help you feel lit. See you next time.