Ep.5 Can You Really Lose the Desire for Wine?

Welcome to another insightful episode of the The Feel Lit  podcast, where hosts Ruby and Susan answer the question "Can you really completely lose the desire for wine?"  In answering they delve into the transformative power exploring the impact of negative thinking in relation to alcohol and personal beliefs. Spoiler alert: YES you can become truly free from the desire!

As the conversation unfolds, the hosts also highlight strategies for managing the impulse to drink and share their personal experiences of the shift in perception of feelings after becoming alcohol-free. They encourage listeners to connect with the joy within and highlight the community's commitment to supporting one another in this journey.

So, join Ruby and Susan as they navigate the complexities of negative thinking, share their expertise in changing beliefs and behaviors around alcohol, and illustrate the power of embracing joy. Get ready to delve into the transformative journey of noticing joy and living an alcohol-free life.

00:00 Alcohol cravings can be overcome with mindset.

03:16 Avoiding alcohol due to personal convictions and health.

07:54 Challenging thoughts can lead to positive change.

11:55 Challenging negative thoughts can affect behavior.

14:04 Recap on becoming aware and starting with awareness.

18:15 Feeling anxious leads to undesirable behavior change.

18:50 Identify thoughts, work with a coach, improve.

22:27 Thoughts about drinking still occasionally arise, despite sobriety.

26:06 Becoming aware of higher vibration feelings is important.

31:05 Connect, share, post, engage, feature, review.

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

Grab our Feel Lit Weekend Guide! https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

Join our Feel Lit AF Facebook Community for amazing support and connection!

Watch Episode on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@FeelLitAlcoholFreePodcast/videos

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Transcript

Susan  [00:00:00]:
Sick and tired of your love hate relationship with wine?

Ruby [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the Feel It Alcohol Free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby Williams.

Susan [00:00:09]:
And I'm coach Susan Larkin.

Ruby [00:00:11]:
We are 2 former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol

Susan  [00:00:17]:
and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and more in control of your life. So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel lit alcohol free. And don't forget, grab a copy of our wine free weekend guide after the show.

Susan  [00:00:36]:
Hey. We are back, and I am so excited to be here with you, Ruby. 

Susan  [00:00:44]:
Welcome. Yeah. So let's tackle today's question, which is a really Good one. And and something that I didn't even believe, so let's let's tackle it. So the question today is, Can you really completely lose the desire for wine or your drink of choice, alcohol. Yeah. Great, great question.

Ruby [00:01:14]:
I didn't believe it either.

Susan  [00:01:16]:
I didn't believe it. You know? I just thought I would just always miss it or, you know, just have to just say no. You know? Like, this isn't something that Works for me and kind of be deprived. Right? That's how it was every other time that I'd ever trying to change my drinking is I just sort of muscled and White knuckled my way through it, you know, hanging on by a fingernail. And, you know, what is truly amazing is you Can completely lose the desire for alcohol. I mean, I cannot believe that I can sit, You know, across from a friend, and they are having my favorite Sauvignon Blanc, and I have absolutely no desire for it. But it takes changing your thoughts, you know, changing and, you know, we talked about our brain having neuroplasticity,  And it really does come down to you can change your thinking about alcohol by exploring the beliefs and thoughts that you hold around alcohol and seeing if they're really true for you anymore.

Susan [00:02:20]:
And I remember being about Over 6 months, maybe 7 or 8 months into my alcohol freedom journey, and I went out to dinner with my daughter in the city, And we were going to a restaurant. It was during late COVID, so it was already 2021. So restaurants, You know, we're outside. They have all the fairy lights. They had flowers. All the restaurants in New York had sort of these lean to's out in the streets, And it was really cold, and I'm just and so we're walking along, and I'm looking at all these beautiful restaurants and all the glittering wine and glasses, and And it just looks so romantic and and beautiful, but then I just I had this thought and this thought really helped me, which was it was like, oh, that looks beautiful. And and I likened it to but it's sorta like a vegetarian smelling a hamburger I'm thinking, oh, that hamburger smells good, but I don't eat meat.

Ruby [00:03:16]:
Oh.

Susan  [00:03:16]:
So it was kinda like I I just thought that, and I went, woah. It's Like, I can look and say, wow. That looks really romantic. It looks really pretty to see all the glittering wine glasses and the fairy lights, but I don't drink because I have and it's sort of like I have convictions around why I don't drink, sort of like vegetarians have convictions around why they don't eat meat. It's not healthy or they, You know, they advocate for animals and etcetera, etcetera. I have the same thoughts and convictions around alcohol. It's not good for me. It's not healthy.

Susan  [00:03:45]:
You know? And and it just doesn't work in my life, and that that really set me free, just that different way of thinking around alcohol. So I would love to just really dive in to this topic and talk about changing our thoughts. And so, Ruby

Ruby  [00:04:04]:
What I'm hearing from your story, Susan, which is so cool, is that It took time. Like, it wasn't like you just had that one thought. You said it it was about 6 months, so you'd been working on it for a while and and just, like, Slowly changing and, like, starting to look at your thoughts. So we wanna talk about I'm gonna address, like, you know, we always We do what we wanna do to feel a certain way. And, like, your thoughts

Susan  [00:04:34]:
Right.

Ruby  [00:04:34]:
Create your emotions, which then create your behaviors or your actions. Yeah. So thoughts are actually things. I learned this, and it was, like, mind blowing. Like, swear to you, I was like, wait. What thoughts or things? So if you think about it, I love this story where There had to be a thought. Someone had to think perhaps we could build an airplane. Right? You can so thoughts Actually become physical things or things in on the planet.

Ruby  [00:05:07]:
Like, everything that we see, It was actually a thought. It's so cool. So, Yeah. I know. And you can You can actually have more control over your thoughts when you start to become aware of them. Yes. And to awareness, we, you know, we keep we'll we'll bring up these they're like some main pillars that we're gonna talk about over and over again because it's so key. Like, awareness and then curiosity.

Ruby  [00:05:35]:
Yep. So those are cool and key. So thoughts are things. So When, you know, nothing can happen unless you have a thought, and you can keep going down the negative thought way. You can you could just So you have 70,000 thoughts in a day or something like that, like, 1,000 of thought. Think about that. And you have the same Thoughts that you had yesterday, you kinda keep having them again today, and you'll have them again tomorrow unless you look at them. You gotta, like Right.

Ruby  [00:06:07]:
But you can chain like, So I had thoughts like I'm ugly. I'm stupid. Like, so many I'm a labeler. There's different types of, We call them automatic negative thoughts, and I'm a more of a labeler.

Susan  [00:06:20]:
Yeah.

Ruby  [00:06:21]:
So K. When I started addressing it, I could turn it around. So, yeah, do you wanna go more into into that, like, turning it around? Or

Susan [00:06:32]:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, the whole idea just blew my mind too. I remember I was driving and listening to some podcasts about this this idea that You don't have to believe everything you think. I mean, that never really occurred to me. It's like, is it everything I think is true. Right? I I don't know. I just never even thought about questioning it.

SUan [00:06:53]:
You know? And that comes to the curiosity pillar that you were talking about, an awareness. Like, you can't Change something if you're not aware of it. So you can't start to change your thoughts until you're aware of what you're thinking. But it just sounds a little bit foreign because who goes around, like, thinking about what they're thinking. You know? But when I was I remember driving and I was listening to this and I had this awareness. I'm like, I'm the boss of my brain. Like, that just gave me so much, like, I don't know, power. I was like, Woah.

Susan  [00:07:24]:
This is amazing that I don't have to believe everything I think and that I should actually change What I'm thinking by becoming aware of it and then questioning it. Is it true? Is that really true? You know? That you you're you're stupid. You know what I mean? If you have that thought all the time. And that's just how our brain works. Our brain wants to conserve energy. So if it has thoughts one day. It's just gonna think the same thoughts the next day because it conserves energy. Right? And our brain wants to prove itself right.

Susan  [00:07:54]:
So if we think we're stupid and then we do something and then we think we're stupid again, it's like maybe thinking we're stupid makes us do stupid things. Right? Because our brain just wants to prove itself right. So it's, like, really important to get down to figuring out what our thoughts are, especially around alcohol. Because some of the things that I probably thought about alcohol were true as the sky is blue. Once you start To learn more about alcohol, educate yourself, you can you realize and also experience things like, oh, I'm never gonna have fun at a party if I don't drink. I go and have an experience about that, and then I and that experience allows me to change my thoughts about that because I did have fun without drinking. And then I can go, that's not really true, and I can turn that thought around. So it really starts with awareness and challenging your thoughts.

Susan  [00:08:47]:
So how how was your experience with that, Ruby?

Ruby  [00:08:50]:
Yeah. That that is really probably the most important question Jen, when you're challenging your thoughts is is it really true? You know, you don't have to believe the thought that you bull you know, since you were probably a teenager. Like, oh, I'm stupid. I'm ugly or whatever. Like like I said, I am the I was the meanest mean girl to myself. And this kind of just asking that 1 question, is it true, was a game changer. It, like, changed my life. I mean, I can give you a story of, like, I was driving along, and when I started to become just aware of my thoughts, I would notice it a lot like when I was driving for some reason.

Ruby  [00:09:27]:
And I'd be driving along and all of a sudden, I'm stupid. I'm I'm ugly. And I'm like, wait. Woah. So I got a rubber band and I put it around my wrist, and I snap it. So it's kinda like a jolt. Like, to go thought. Yeah.

Ruby [00:09:41]:
Like so okay. Bam. I just had that, like, negative thought. Or are there some thoughts could be like doom and gloom. I'm always gonna fail. I'm never gonna get this. There's no hope. It could be Yeah.

Ruby  [00:09:53]:
Mind reader thoughts, like, they they're gonna think I'm uncool if I if I don't drink or you know, there's so many types of negative thoughts that'll keep you actually Stuck and maybe even stuck drinking. So this is kind of the first you become an internal investigator. You put on your, like, investigator cap, and you start to, like, get in your brain. Because you wanna know I learned this phrase, Susan. From somewhere, I heard it. It's like you are not your thoughts.

Susan  [00:10:24]:
 Yes.

Ruby  [00:10:25]:
You are the observer of your thoughts. The true you is the observer of your thoughts. So once you've become aware so, again, you could try the rubber band technique. I call it my rubber band technique. I'm sure you might have heard it other places, but it's like It's like Yeah.

Speaker A [00:10:39]:
You snap it, and you go, thought.

RUby  [00:10:43]:
Yeah. So that's and you just ask yourself, is it really true. Or is it a 100% true? Like Yes. And almost always, I was like, no. That's just not true. Why do I keep saying it? So yeah.

Susan [00:10:58]:
I know. I know. But becoming aware of I mean, I use this in every area of my life. I started using this technique to start to question my thoughts and beliefs around alcohol. But then I started Doing it for how I talk and think about my husband in our marriage. And, honestly, that completely changed the dynamic of our marriage because I just had automatic negative thoughts. Sometimes, they were just old you know, in in a relationship, sometimes you just have the old record player of The same old thought, you know, about and I had to question my thoughts. And, you know, one of them was, you know, when our children were young, of course, he I did everything around the house.

Susan  [00:11:37]:
And so, like, when things come up, now we're empty nesters, and I would think, he never does anything around here. That was like an automatic negative thought.

Speaker B [00:11:45]:
And then

Susan  [00:11:45]:
I had to wait. I went, wait. Is that true? And then I went, no. He unloaded the dishwasher. He actually made dinner the other night. That's crazy. He started cooking. And so I had to go back and go, wait.

Susan [00:11:55]:
That's not true. And why am I having that negative thought? And, also, even How does that thought serve me in our relationship? Like, also even looking at the thought from that perspective, how's that thought make me feel about my husband? Not great. So same about alcohol. Like, if you're having a, you know, thought about alcohol, like, I'm not gonna have fun at this party without Drinking, when you go to the party, you're probably not gonna have fun without drinking because that's what your mind is focused on. Like, what are all the things that aren't fun because you've already had that thought, and your brain is gonna be looking to confirm that. Like, we talked about before, it wants to prove self right. So it's just gonna go, oh, well, you know, this isn't fun. That's not fun.

Susan [00:12:39]:
You're just gonna be focused on that. So this idea of how our thoughts kind of direct our attention to our reticular activation system. It's like if you're thinking this, like, when you get a red car. So Now all of a sudden you see red cars on the road, but you didn't notice them before. It's the same thing with our thoughts. So first, you just have to start with awareness, and I know, we always say this, and everyone's, ah, awareness. But you can't change something until you're aware of it. Right? Yeah.

Ruby  [00:13:08]:
So, Can I interject a little quick?

Ruby [00:13:11]:
Because you said something that I wanna, like, point out really clearly for our listeners is the all or nothing thinking. You are like my my husband never or always. So I want you to look for for that's another thing to really look for when you when you see, like, I always or never or black and white. Really question that. Yeah. I just so sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to, like, make sure that the parents, like, notice that. Mhmm.

SUsan [00:13:36]:
Yeah. So one of the things you should notice is should, the word should. You know how they say don't all over yourself. So when you're saying should about yourself, that's a that's a thought. That's sort of a red flag. Always never. What are some of the other ones?

Ruby  [00:13:49]:
The doom and gloom, the labeling, like I mentioned. Yeah. Yeah. The thinking thinking you know what other people think or Oh, yeah. Tripping. You know, thinking about tripping negative. Big one. We could probably do a whole episode on on that one. 

SUsan [00:14:00]:
I think we should. 

SUsan [00:14:04]:
 But just to kind of recap the Well, just to actually bring up well, so, you know, okay, Susan. Become aware. What do I do now? I mean, just to start with awareness because at first, it's first, a lot of people will say a lot of clients that I work will be like, there was no thought. I just walked in the door, and I and all of a sudden, I was drinking wine. It's like, well, no. We gotta rewind that. What is what is or I'll ask a client, you know, what were you thinking? And they will just tell me the circumstances of what was going on, and that's great because that's a great place to start.

Susan  [00:14:36]:
Start with the circumstances, but the circumstances are not the thought. Correct. So, usually, there's a big There's a lot of circumstances, and sometimes there's a lot of stuff in there. And so it's like, okay. That's the circumstance. You were mad because there was traffic, and You're coming home and everybody at work, you know, blah blah blah went on and da da da. So there's usually kind of a maybe a long story so you can, You know, get the story and then go, what are your thoughts in that about that? What were your thoughts? Or or if you can't get to the thought, how were you feeling?

Ruby [00:15:06]:
Mhmm. 

Speaker A [00:15:06]:
Well,  sometimes thinking of the feeling first can help you identify the thought. You can go, I was feeling this way. Well, what was the thought that was creating that feeling. You can kinda go back and forth. And and don't even it doesn't have to be perfect. If you can't think of the feeling I mean, the thought, fine. Start with the feeling. While I'm feeling anxious.

Ruby [00:15:26]:
Some people have a hard time getting into their feelings, and they can get to the thoughts easier. So I found that too with clients where they're they're like, well, I don't know what I'm feeling, and it it just takes time. So we'll talk more about feelings too. 

Susan  [00:15:40]:
Yeah. No. But just Just start to start to practice this. Start to just get first, start being aware. Get a little notebook and just start writing down your thoughts Sorta like and, you know, get a rubber band if you want. Thought. Thought. You know? Being becoming aware.

Susan 00:15:54]:
Thought. Thought. Thought. Yeah. Of these thoughts and, like, And then you'll notice a pattern, maybe, if you have, especially around your drinking, the thoughts that you're having. You know? Like, oh, you know, I really need this to relax or, you know, what's going on in your thoughts if you're having a craving? You know? What are the thoughts about it? Like, oh my gosh. I don't think I can get through this craving. You know? Like, just start to write down all your thoughts.

SUsan [00:16:19]:
Just start with that. And like I said, start with the thoughts or feelings. Do the best you can and just start with that. But then once you start to get into some practice Just around that. Really, you have to do this on paper to start out with. It's kind of like a little homework assignment. Eventually, you can kind of do it on the fly. But at first, it really helps to document things and, like, maybe keep a little diary or a little notebook about it.

Susan  [00:16:44]:
So start with the Feeling the circumstance, try to tease out what the thoughts are. You can only do this with 1 thought at a time, so try to also if you have a lot of thoughts, then pick the one that's the most painful. They're the one that's Right. Probably giving you the most charge, the one that charges you up the most. So write that down. And then how do you feel when you have that thought? And sometimes it is hard to identify the feeling. There's things It's like a feeling wheel that you can find online just to give you some language. Like and Brene Brown talks about this a lot.

Susan  [00:17:15]:
Like, Just naming the emotion that you're having is huge too. Sometimes that takes a lot of the charge out of it too. So that's something really easy.

Ruby  [00:17:24]:
Heart book is like my bible for feelings. I love that book. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Susan  [00:17:29]:
I love that book too. Yeah. Yeah. So so there's lots of places, but just Even if you you know, just mad. You know? Just one of the basic ones. Just try to get some feeling there. And then ask yourself, how does this feeling make me act or behave? Well, it makes me wanna drink. Makes me but is it really it makes me wanna drink, or really how does it make you wanna well, how do you wanna feel? Why are you using alcohol? I wanna numb.

Susan  [00:17:54]:
I want this to go away. I wanna you know, whatever. And then what is the result? Well, the result of this thought is I drink. Right? Or whatever. I'm mad at my husband. You know? And so then might get you to drink. I'm mad at my husband or I've, Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Oh, I'm worried about the future. Mhmm.

 [00:18:15]:
Yeah. I'm feeling and that makes me feel anxious. So it makes me feel and then the result is Maybe there's an action around that. If I'm feeling anxious, then I don't go to the party. If I'm feeling, you know, whatever, what is the result? It's good to see the result because if the result is something that To think about the result, if the result is something you don't want is an, you know, an undesirable behavior in your life, Like, even you know? Anyway, I'll get I go off on tangents. I'm trying not to do that. So then we I know. Then what we we have what we call a turnaround thought.

 [00:18:50]:
So once you identify kind of what's going on and like I said, No myth of perfection. It does not have to be perfect. Just do the best you can. And working with a coach is very helpful for this because the coach will walk you through this and help you kind of hone your Fills in it. But now what I can you identify a thought that is true or truer or A ladder thought. And when we talk about ladder thoughts, it's like you may not be able to go from, I'm not gonna have any fun at this party if I'm not drinking to, I'm gonna have a great time at this party if I'm not drinking. So you might need what's called a latter thought, which can be, I'm open to exploring, going to a party without drinking, and seeing what there is to enjoy there. I love that.

 [00:19:34]:
That would be considered the ladder thought. And so you start with that, And then you have the experiential knowledge to go and say, was this true? And you can keep moving up the ladder, and, eventually, you do get to the complete turnaround of Complete losing the desire for alcohol. Like, I can go to a party and sit with my friends who are drinking the favorite Sauvignon Blanc that I would drink, and I don't want any. I have no desire. Let's, yeah,

Ruby [00:19:58]:
let's go full circle. Let's go full circle to the the The question, like, can you really completely lose the desire for alcohol? And what we're saying here is you use these These tactics and techniques and tools, getting into your thoughts and beliefs and turning them around, and it's a process. You kinda you and it starts with awareness and curiosity like we said. I'm just repeating because it's this is this is how my life changed. You just keep doing this over. You find your thoughts. You find your beliefs. You turn them around and slowly move them up the ladder like you said, Susan, and you do this with all of your thoughts.

 [00:20:38]:
You you know? And it takes time to just keep doing this. Yeah. So the only other thing I wanted to mention too is that I started this process just Not writing it down yet. I just was aware of the thoughts, like, when I was driving. I think I should maybe I did. But when I was driving,

 [00:21:01]:
a sudden See the words, though. So if you can see the words like a sentence, that could work too. Like, I would, like, kind of I'd be driving along and I'd be like You know, I I'm never going to get alcohol free, and I would see it as, like, words. And it helps to just either write it down or see it as words like you said. But yeah. Yeah.

Susan  [00:21:20]:
Yeah. No. I love that. I love that. Because, yeah, sometimes it is happening when you can't write it down. Or, like, here's what I call a little quickie Is just jump to, is that true? Like, if you have a thought, just start going, is that true? You know? And sometimes People can that's what this is what I call, like, a little quickie turnaround. It's just is it true? And then you can, you know, you can do that quickly on the fly with, oh, with the thought, oh, 1 won't hurt. Is that true? Or is it just really gonna be 1? You know what

Ruby [00:21:49]:
I mean? Like, you can 2 led to three
Yeah. Is that really true? It's just gonna be 1. You could just come home and just have 1, Susan. I would come through. Oh my gosh. How many Day 1's that I have over that. And then it was never 1. And so then when I started becoming aware of that thought, I could go, is that true? No.

Susan[00:22:08]:
I have never just had 1 glass of wine ever. And so then I could just stop right there and go, you know, that's not true. Stop. Nope. Sorry, brain, lower brain. You know that's not true. Gonna have to stop you there and just make a different choice. You know? And that's part of the journey in the early days.

 [00:22:27]:
You know? And even, you know, to be completely honest, I don't have a desire to drink at all. Like, I don't want to drink alcohol, but sometimes I have a desire to not feel the way I feel. Even currently at almost 4 years alcohol free, And the little alcohol voice will sometimes chime in and go, well, you know, if you had a drink, you wouldn't feel this way. Now I have and then I know that's completely I know that's not true. It's just a thought. So then you can also when you become an observer of your thoughts too. You also don't freak the f out if you have a thought about drinking because, like, I I you know, I hear that too with clicks and like, oh my gosh. I had the thought that I might drink.

[00:23:13]:
And I will will so? It's just a thought. You know what I mean? Your subconscious is is gonna pop up every now and then because it's like a computer. Like, you may go do something in your life that you haven't done alcohol free yet, and your brain will just naturally go, well, you know, we normally have champagne. And it's like, Yeah. I know we normally do that, but it's just a thought. When you can separate you from your thoughts, it makes it a lot easier also not to beat yourself up If you have a thought, you know, of drinking, it's just like, oh, yeah. That's a tool I could use, but maybe I'll just go do some deep breathing and yoga.

Ruby  [00:23:49]:
Yeah. Yeah. There's other tools, and you also shared in the very beginning, and I love that that your new thought is I'm I'm I just don't drink. Like, Like a like, you're a vegetarian. You're you're a nondrinker. Yeah. It's so cool. So these thoughts just yeah.

 [00:24:04]:
It holds no value.

SUsan  [00:24:07]:
Yeah. No. I love it. I love it. I this I love having these conversations with you, Ruby, because I just feel like it's it's so It's just such an amazing way to change your relationship with alcohol that is not deprivation based. It's not shame based. There's nothing wrong with you. I mean, it's just there's thoughts.

 [00:24:29]:
There's no need for yourself. Change those things. Yeah. And it's not your fault. I love that. I love that. So much hope

Ruby [00:24:35]:
that you too can completely lose to your desire for alcohol. It it's so true. Yes.

Speaker A [00:24:43]:
Yeah. Just not be driven by it. You know? Yeah. It is. It is. It is. It's live a life. Yeah.

Susan  [00:24:51]:
I So today is my turn to ask you, Ruby, what you are doing to Feel lit in your life. This is, like, my favorite part of the end of our podcast and pump bar. Talking about these fun things Things that we do or just really, really beneficial things that we do in our lives to stay lit.

Ruby 00:25:15]:
Stay in this I mean, we're definitely telling stories about, you know, the struggles and tools and but also, I mean, the name of our podcast, Feel It Alcohol Free. So what am I doing? I

 [00:25:30]:
wanna it's just a simple Simple thing. A lot of the things we're gonna talk about are just very simple little things like noticing joy. So when I was drinking, I was noticing the the despair or that's maybe No. It was it was the like that. Noticing more of the negative feelings. But as an alcohol free And, actually, there's no negative feelings. I wanna actually reframe that because all feelings are feelings, and they're all actually okay. I just what we consider more of the, You know, the lower rung feelings.

[00:26:06]:
I do think how we feel, we have kind of, I think vibrations are we I don't know. I it's it's kind of esoteric, but, like, when we can start to be aware of those higher vibration feelings, which are like the joy, the happiness, the gratitude, the love, and awe and wonder and calm and peace, like, all of those types, it's It's not about that I'm gonna feel joy all the time. Right? I mean, I'm not like rainbows and unicorns. No. But it's like I'm noticing just taking like, when I do feel the joy, and for me, joy comes I always am like, well, it's like it's like a little, I don't know, party. Party in my upper chest that just goes out into the world. I love it. And it's it's joy, and it's true joy.

00:27:00]:
It's not the Artificial, you know, dopamine rash buzz. It's true, honest, authentic joy that comes by noticing it and becoming alcohol free. I do think that I never would have discovered this True joy if I just kept drinking. Like, I I would have missed this part of my life. The the feeling, the feelings. The feeling The good feelings, I'm feeling the bad feelings. Or, again, not that it's bad, but I keep saying that word, but, you know, but just notice the joy. So how do I notice joy? Right when I start to think about sometimes I think about, like, a tree or something in nature, And I close my eyes, and I can actually feel that feeling.

 [00:27:49]:
Sometimes I get it from writing a gratitude list. You know, we mentioned that.

 [00:27:55]:
Feel the the joy. So I would love for it to hear from you guys. How do you feel joy? Like, Does it come as a, like, a bubbling? Or how do you feel it, Susan?

SUsan [00:28:05]:
Yeah. Well, I have to concur with you that I did not Feel joy very often or at all towards the end of my drinking because I think alcohol just squashes that ability. You know? It numbs the good and the bad. You know? So when you wanna drink for stress, it's also gonna numb your ability to feel joy. And I remember when I started to get, like, my joy feelings back, it was Almost like, what is this feeling? This this is like, I felt like I kinda feel like sometimes it feels like my The top of my head, like, has energy shooting out. It feels like or it just feels like this inner glow. And I love those visuals. Feel like my Like, I can't smile enough.

Ruby  [00:28:46]:
My face is just glowing, and it's just, like, pouring out of my like, rays coming out of my body of joy. And, Yeah. And it's it's really truly amazing to to start to feel that too. So I think the practice is here, like you said, of noticing. Oh oh my gosh. Yeah. That's that is it. I love it.

Susan  [00:29:11]:
Thanks for sharing that. Yeah. We did that. So Ruby just shared a picture of her with, like, rays of rainbow coming out from her. So that's so cool.

Ruby  [00:29:20]:
Sorry. Yeah. We're on audio.

 [00:29:22]:
I'm like, showing a picture. For the podcast, nobody could see it.

[00:29:25]:
Maybe I could post it somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. No. That's such a cool picture. I love it. So, yeah, feeling joy but noticing joy because, again, it's not it comes back to the a word, awareness. Because the more you notice joy, your brain wants to be efficient and do and does the same things.

SUsan [00:29:45]:
The more you notice joy, the more you're going to notice joy. 

 [00:29:51]:
Yeah. And you'll it's like compound interest. You know what I mean? So it starts to build a bay a joy bank, you know, that the more you see the more like I said, the more you see joy, the more you Feel joy. The more joy you're going to see and feel on a regular basis, it starts to change it actually starts to change your brain again with neuroplasticity. It starts. So, again, with the thoughts or things, changing your brain, seeing more joy changes your brain, and all that Is part of this process of becoming alive in our alcohol free life. So, yeah, I totally love that noticing joy practice. Yeah.


Ruby  [00:30:31]:
I love it too. I know. And if you notice so if you notice more Sadness. You'll get more sadness. It's like like you said. It's it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. And if you notice more joy, You'll have more joy. So I wanna end with that.

 [00:30:47]:
Like yeah. Yes.

Susan  [00:30:49]:
 Well, joy is a wonderful thing.

Speaker B [00:30:52]:
I know. But don't forget to join our feel it podcast Facebook community. I I wanna just plug that in at the very end here because We are gonna be in there, coach Susan and I, and we wanna create a community where you guys can, yes, connect and share our stories about what helps us feel lit, and you could post your picture there. Ruby, post the picture there. Do. In our Facebook group. So come on over and see us there, and let us know your questions that you would like us to answer or ways that you feel lit, and we wanna mention new on the podcast. And if you have an amazing story about feeling lit or your alcohol free story, we also wanna feature Our listeners on our podcast, so you could be a guest. So hop on over to our Facebook group and tell us your alcohol free story. Also, don't forget to review and leave a review.

SUsan [00:31:46]:
You can re leave a review with your story and also with questions that you may want us to answer. So have a wonderful, wonderful day, and we'll see you next time.

Speaker B [00:32:00]:
See Shouldn't you like us to answer on the show?

Susan  [00:32:07]:
All you need to do is head over to Apple Podcasts and do 2 simple things. Leave a rating and review telling us what you think of the show. And in that review, ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol free lifestyle. 

Ruby  [00:32:28]:
That's it. Then tune in to hear your question answered live. Don't forget to grab your copy a wine free weekend at www.feellitpodcast.com

Susan [00:32:32]:
And remember, do something today that will help you feel lit. See you next time.