Weight Loss Surgery and Alcohol: A Journey to Emotional Wellness / EP. 031

Welcome back to the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast!  Today, we’re diving deep into a topic that’s both eye-opening and incredibly personal. Have you ever wondered how weight loss surgery can unexpectedly intertwine with alcohol use disorder?

A listener asked this brave question: "I’m 7 years post WLS, I was always a social drinker, after WLS I radically changed my eating habits, but added wine…and it snuck up on me and soon I became a daily drinker. I really would like to connect with someone and understand the biological reasons for transfer addiction."

In this episode, host Ruby Williams gets real about her own journey with food, alcohol, and addictive behavior swapping.  They  discuss the surprising connection between weight loss surgery and developing disordered drinking patterns, shedding light on the rapid absorption of alcohol post-surgery and the emotional and physical toll it can take.

Ruby shares her inspiring weekly food prep routine, highlighting the importance of a keto diet and the positive impact it has on her well-being. She emphasizes the role of food prep in maintaining control over dietary choices and feeling good in her body. 

The hosts emphasize the importance of cultivating self-love and self-compassion, and the significance of being mindful of drinking habits and reasons for alcohol use. 

Join us for a heartfelt conversation that breaks down misconceptions and offers practical tools for personal growth. Are you ready to uncover the hidden truths and find hope in the journey? Tune in and let’s explore together! 

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

Grab our Feel Lit Weekend Guide! https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

Join our Feel Lit AF Facebook Community for amazing support and connection!

Watch Episode on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@FeelLitAlcoholFreePodcast/videos

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Transcript

Sick and tired of your love-hate relationship with wine?
Welcome to the feel it alcohol free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby Williams. And I'm coach Susan Larkin. We are 2 former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and more in control of your life. So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel lit alcohol free. And don't forget, grab a copy of our wine free weekend guide after the show.

Susan [00:00:38]:
Hey, everybody. Welcome back. We are so excited to record the podcast today. I'm always excited to see you, Ruby. I'm wearing my Feel Lit t-shirt.

Ruby [00:00:48]:
Hello. It's so fun. 

Susan [00:00:52]:
Hi. So I'm really excited to start today's podcast, but one thing that I wanted to share was we get fan mail, which is crazy. So when you go on the show notes for our podcast, there's a little link, and you can send us a message. And we got some messages. I just wanna read two of them because they're just so cool. So I just wanted to start out at the beginning because, I mean, this just warms my heart and it is just so amazing. So this is from a listener in Eureka, California who says, “really appreciated this podcast. You brought up some ideas and answers I hadn't thought about and will be more prepared for as my AF life blooms.

Susan [00:01:37]:
You two are doing a great job.” Oh. Isn't that neat? Like Yeah. I just love that. And then another listener from Portsmouth, New Hampshire. So we went from California all the way to the West Coast now to the East Coast. “I just listened to the trailer, and I'm very excited to start listening to this podcast. It was positive, upbeat, encouraging, and it left me wanting more. So thank you so much.”

Ruby [00:02:03]:
Wow. 

Susan [00:02:04]:
That was just so cool to get, like, people's fan mail. We have some lovely reviews as well. So, yeah, we read the ball. We are so thankful to our listeners. We just love you so much and are so grateful that, you know, we had a review where somebody said that listening to this podcast had really helped them in their journey, and they're 60 days alcohol free.

Ruby [00:02:29]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:02:30]:
I mean, I'm like, woah. 

Ruby [00:02:32]:
I have chime in here too. Yep. If you can't see us, we're doing pom poms, and we always want to celebrate your wins and your alcohol free days. And if people can get alcohol free listening to our podcast, how cool is that, Susan?

Susan [00:02:45]:
I think that's pretty amazing. I know. I am just so grateful for that too. I'm just feeling all the feels. So that is so cool. So we have an amazing episode today that's going to really feature Coach Ruby. So we have a question from a listener, and I'm gonna read the question. Then really, this will be mostly addressed by Ruby, and I'm gonna ask some questions because I'm really curious about this.

Susan [00:03:13]:
This is about weight loss surgery. So I'm just going to read the question. This listener says, “I'm 7 years post weight loss surgery. Was always a social drinker. Radically changed my eating habits, but added wine, and it snuck up on me. And soon I became a daily drinker. I really would like to connect with someone and understand the biological reasons for the transfer addiction.” So, Ruby, this sounds very familiar to your story.

Ruby [00:03:44]:
Yes. I really, really relate to this. So I would love to well, first discuss, transfer addiction. That comes up a lot. Or, you know, do you have one addiction that turns into another? And I think this can happen very easily with weight loss surgery. So let me just give you the facts, like the statistics. It's 1 in 5 people, and I actually think it's higher

Ruby [00:04:12]:
that end up with alcohol use disorder after weight loss surgery.

Susan [00:04:16]:
Wow.

Ruby [00:04:16]:
And there's a few kinds of weight loss surgeries you might have heard of. The sleeve, Roux en Y, and lap band. There are different types. Now, I ended up choosing the sleeve, which is where they make your stomach instead of around, it's like the shape of a banana. They cut away part of the stomach so that it's long and narrow. A Roux en Y is where they actually bypass your stomach. So it's very different. And then the lap band is where they take something in, like, make your stomach smaller with, like, a band, basically.

Ruby [00:04:56]:
So they don't actually cut away anything. There's no it's it's more adding a band. So there's different kinds of surgeries, but the goal of the surgery is your stomach is smaller or bypassed or and so that you cannot literally physically eat very much food. You are full within, you know, right after surgery, maybe just like a quarter cup of food. So Wow. And so I wanna talk about let's talk about, like, before, like, what was my life before the surgery and why did I have decided to have the surgery? Yeah. Exactly. 

Ruby [00:05:32]:
I think I'll start there because, for me, a woman, or a girl, growing up, it was always about weight and so much focus is on your body and your size and weight. And I went through all kinds of stresses, you know, as a kid with divorce, and I'm sure people have their own stories, but I used food to numb my emotions, to deal with emotions. It was there. Right? Candy was there. Food was there. As a kid, you can do that. So all throughout my life, I had this, like, weight loss mentality. I'm going to be on a diet.

Ruby [00:06:10]:
I'm going to lose weight, or get to a certain weight, and then I'd stop the diet, or I think I could exercise and lose weight. And I even remember doing a half marathon and exercising every day, running and running and running for hours a week. And at the end of the marathon, a half marathon, I was heavier than when I started because I was eating pasta. Right? Oh, you have to eat lots and tons of pasta to jog. And, anyway, so I feel like I'm going all over the place, but I really do have a point. So what does it feel like? It felt like I was never full. Like and I'm learning more about the gut and microbiome, and I don't think my gut and brain connection was working right and that I just didn't have a full like, I didn't know when I was full. So I was always hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry.

Ruby [00:07:07]:
And after I had a very stressful corporate job in the wine industry, I then had a home foreclosure. I had a child custody battle with lawyers. So much stress in this time period of my life where within a year or 2, I gained over 100 pounds. And, again, it just felt like an addiction. I know we use more like alcohol or sorry. Eating disorders.

Susan [00:07:35]:
Disorder. Yeah.

Ruby [00:07:36]:
Yeah. Or but it felt like now that I know what alcohol addiction is or, you know, even binge watching TV addiction or if it felt like a food addiction in that I was always thinking about it, all like, obsessing about it, wanting it. Even if I was full, which I didn't know I was full, I would eat more. So, I tried everything. You know? I tried it. It's so similar to the alcohol journey for me. That's why the two kinds vary. I tried all these different diets and everything I could think of, you know, just drinking fluids. What is that? Tried Yeah.

Ruby [00:08:15]:
Yeah. Like, fasting and whole foods and everything I could think of. And in at this time, I was drinking alcohol, but I would say I was more drinking, maybe 2 two glasses, not even every night, maybe a bottle on the weekends. But I would say I had more control over my drinking than my eating at the time. So I had the surgery, and I lost the weight very quickly. I lost over, like, a £110, and it was pretty quickly within, like, 6 months or where most of it came off. And when you go to have weight loss surgery, at least through Kaiser, I know you can also go down to Mexico or you could do it, but I did it through my medical insurance and medical. You have lots of appointments with psychologists and your doctors and your surgeons and all kinds of appointments.

Ruby [00:09:15]:
And honestly, I say honestly, “honestly” but I was lying. I was lying about my drinking. They would ask many different times. The psychologists asked, the doctors asked. They said, how much do you drink? And I would just say very little. And then when they described the different surgeries, they said with Roux en y, you cannot drink at all. This is what they say. With the sleeve, you can have a glass or two.

Ruby [00:09:40]:
So that is why I chose the surgery based on if I could have a glass of wine or not because I worked in the wine industry. And, I would say I didn't drink for about a month, and then I started introducing it. And here's what happens. It's a two fold whammy or a two punch, really, because your physiology, your physical body has changed. And that affects your hormones and so many your brain chemistry, but also, like, the stomach lining. So after you have surgery, there's not as much area, in terms of getting the right enzymes. Right? Your stomach is so small that more alcohol enters the bloodstream quicker.

Susan [00:10:36]:
I see. I see. That makes sense. Yeah.

Ruby [00:10:39]:
It does make sense when you think about it when I researched this and from my experience, like the experience of it is once you drink some alcohol, it almost explodes into my bloodstream. It almost felt like, like it was very immediate and very intense, different than when you're drinking wine before the surgery with say a meal, it was kind of a slower buzz. This was fast, But then it also went away fast, Susan. It just went away.

Susan [00:11:08]:
That's so interesting. Well, and also you're not eating as much because your stomach can't handle as much food. So you don't have as much food in your system to absorb the alcohol.

Ruby [00:11:18]:
There's not much food absorbing alcohol. You're eating, think about it, like a couple tablespoons of food. Then you're drunk but you could drink, you could drink glasses of water. You could drink fluids. Fluids could go through your stomach, but food could only be a little bit. Yeah. So think about tolerance. If you have this explosion of a buzz feeling and then it goes away within minutes, you're gonna have a second glass way faster.

Ruby [00:11:45]:
So what happened is I would drink a whole bottle very, very quickly. And and and even by the end of the bottle, you wouldn't feel like you have any in your system. It was very unique, I think, to people that have weight loss surgery. That's why it's so important to me to bring this up. Then let's go to the brain, the psychological. Right? If we drink or if we eat food to numb our emotions, like many of us do, I did. And if you haven't addressed your emotional needs, then if you can get that from drinking alcohol, you're gonna transfer. That's where the word transfer comes in.

Susan [00:12:23]:
Yes. Yes. They call it and then eating disorders, they call it behavior swapping. So you're the coping mechanism. So if you hadn't changed some of those stressful activities that caused you to eat and gain all the weight, you lost all the weight, but then now what are you using as a coping mechanism if you can't use food anymore? Right. Wow.

Ruby [00:12:45]:
Wow. So think about it's truly this it's it's it's like so many people. That's why I think the number is not even 1 out of 5. I think it's higher. If you decide to drink probably any amount of alcohol after weight loss surgery, you are so susceptible to alcohol use disorder. Wow. It's because I just used the alcohol to numb.

Ruby [00:13:09]:
I still had stress in my life. How do I cope?

Susan [00:13:12]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:13:13]:
And you've got society telling you to drink alcohol. And I'll just mention this part too, which is true. I lost so much weight. I felt good about my body. I wanted to go out on dates. I wanted to go out, you know, wine tasting. I wanted to go out for happy hour with friends. I was way more social because I felt better about how I looked.

Susan [00:13:35]:
That's so amazing. That's amazing. That it sounds like you got the results you were looking for as far as body image, Or were you still struggling with that? Because you were still trying to be this ideal.

Ruby [00:13:48]:
No. It lasted about, I would say, a year. And during that year, I kept the weight off to my lower weight as my alcohol increased. It took months to a year to get to, like, over a bottle of wine, and then it went to 2 bottles, then it went to 3 bottles, then it switched to hard alcohol. It just kept increasing just like food. You know? I never felt hungry, but, like, with food. So alcohol, there was just a bottomless amount of alcohol. But then guess what happens? You gain the weight back.

Ruby [00:14:22]:
If you drink that much, and then when you're drinking, you kind of forget the things that you're supposed to, you're not supposed to have fried foods or, you know, fast foods or you. I started introducing snacking. So how people gain weight after weight loss surgery, at least with the sleeve like I had, is your stomach stretches out again. Oh, okay. And you can also eat lots of small meals. Say you eat 10 small meals, you're getting a lot of calories.

Susan [00:14:51]:
Mhmm.

Ruby [00:14:52]:
So this is how people gain weight after surgery. So now I have an alcohol addiction. I've gained the weight back or a lot of it. It's just I was so depressed and sad and, like, what is going on? I couldn't so if you're in this play, I want you to know if you're in this place and you've had weight loss surgery or bariatric surgery, you are not alone. You can get help. And I want to be a role model for you, and there are solutions where you can really change your mindset. And that is the key here. You're you've already changed your physiology, your body.

Ruby [00:15:31]:
So let's now start work on the mind. Right?

Susan [00:15:33]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:15:34]:
Susan, that's Yeah. Yeah. And the emotions. Yeah.

Susan [00:15:37]:
Yeah. I'm so glad you're bringing this up because it sounds like there's an audience for this, obviously, with this listener's question, but also the hope because it sounds like something people don't talk about a lot. Just like our drinking, but then there's the drinking and the weight loss surgery and weight gain, and then, you know, just not having a forum to share about that and to say so you're stuck thinking, oh, it's only me. I'm the only one with this problem. And so what we know is it's just so helpful to know that you're not alone, and there's others who've gone before you who can help with this, you know, who have strategies and who have broken free. Freedom from alcohol and freedom from weight gain because you look amazing. And freedom from using food or alcohol to cope. Right? Mhmm.

Susan [00:16:26]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:16:27]:
Yeah. So this, you know, the methodology we use around changing our thinking and our feelings is really the key here. And I was able to get control of alcohol and then also control of food. I eat to nourish my body. It's not about how much and and the taste buds so much. It's about being healthy and finally loving myself. Think that the underlying big elephant in the room here is self love. If you love yourself and you have self compassion, you're going to care for yourself.

Ruby [00:17:02]:
Be healthy. And this is what I wish I would have learned, you know, 20 years ago. So I'm so glad that this information exists now and that it's accessible. Yeah. So Yeah.

Susan [00:17:14]:
Yeah. What I'm thinking though too and what I've kind of heard just in other reading comments from people who who struggle with this is also if you're reducing the size of your stomach or maybe and maybe you know more about this or maybe the different surgeries, you, may have a little bit of malabsorption of vitamins. And we know that those imbalances can also cause cravings for alcohol. Drink that much before weight loss surgery surgery, and then you just start to introduce alcohol just in the normal you're a social drinker, but it wasn't really a big deal. Then you introduce alcohol after the surgery, but because of some malabsorption nutritional imbalances, your body just starts craving the alcohol in a different way.

Ruby [00:18:07]:
I hear this all the time from my clients and just people that they maybe didn't even drink alcohol hardly at all until after the surgery, and it can get you addicted so quickly. That's the problem. You think, oh, I swear to you, Susan, I would have been like, nope. I'm not addicted to alcohol before the surgery. I would have been I'm not that I don't have that personality. I remember saying those kinds of words. Like, that's just not, that's not who I am with alcohol. Yeah.

Ruby [00:18:38]:
And I could take it or leave it. It's not gonna happen to me. This won't happen to me. I'm strong. I I don't know. All these things were going through my head. Yeah. But by the time you get down into the pitcher plant we talk about the pitcher plant, meaning there's this plant, a carnivorous plant that's in the rainforest where it attracts bugs like bees and flies and and with a scent.

Ruby [00:19:05]:
And it's it we use this as kind of to describe how addiction can happen, and it lures you in with 1 or 2 glasses into this. And then before you realize you're addicted, you're addicted, you're are yeah. Like, you're already addicted.

Susan [00:19:20]:
Like, it's You've already slid down.

Ruby [00:19:22]:
You've already slid down.

Susan [00:19:24]:
Too far. This is from Alan Carr's book. Yes. It's his description, but it makes it it's it's a great visual because I can it's like you're sliding down, and then different people slide down faster than others. Because there's always that question, how come I can't drink like everyone else? How come they can you know, they're fine. And half the time, we don't even know what people's drinking is, so we're judging our drinking based on what we see other people do. So that's a whole nother story. But we're all different.

Susan [00:19:51]:
Why don't I have diabetes and other people do? I don't know. Why do I slide down? Why did I slide down the pitcher plant faster? There are some reasons, though. Using alcohol as a coping mechanism is one of the biggest reasons that that accelerates your slide down into for sure.

Ruby [00:20:09]:
And what I wanna point out here, though, is that it's double fold with weight loss surgery because you've changed you're not yeah. You're talking about vitamins, malnutrition, our hormones are affected, our stomach has so much more going on than just the size of it and how much food it can take. So maybe we have changed our microbiome. We've changed how we absorb nutrients. So, yes, one of the things you were mentioning, vitamins, you make a vow. Like, I mean, it is embedded in me. Like, you have to have vitamins for the rest of your life and quite a few every single day after weight loss surgery. You have like, they say, you have to do this, like, sign here sign here in blood.

Ruby [00:20:55]:
So, yeah, so a very important part. And a lot of people don't take their vitamins. A lot of people are told, especially with Roo n y, you're not allowed to have alcohol. They have alcohol. You're not allowed to have sugar or, like, cookies, and they have it anyway. So we are making these choices, and you think you try to get away with it. Right? Like, okay. So there's something in weight loss surgery that we know about if you've had it, which is called “dumping”.

Ruby [00:21:24]:
Dumping is when you have either too much fat or feel ill, completely ill. Some people actually throw up or but, I never really threw up, but I would feel ill for hours. Like, we where you have to just stop, lay down, and just you're in so much pain and it's called dumping. And it can happen with, oh, like, sparkling drinks, like, carbonated drinks, drinking out of a straw. You're never allowed to drink out of a straw after weight loss surgery, but some people do. And you it's like this Russian roulette. Let me have one cookie and see if I get “dumping”. And, oh, I didn't get “dumping” after having ice cream this one time, but maybe 3 other times I got it.

Ruby [00:22:07]:
So you and I it's similar to alcohol where you kinda go, maybe one time I can have 2 glasses of wine, but sometimes I need a whole bottle. So there's a lot of similarities here to what we do on our brains. Like, we try to get away with as much as we can without, you know, feeling sick the next day or feel or having the dumping.

Susan [00:22:31]:
Yeah. That's so fascinating. I never heard that. I'm so glad you brought that up. Because I'm sure this is speaking to a specific audience that struggles with this for sure. And, you know, it seems interesting. This is so similar to the way physicians talk to you about alcohol just in your regular GP visits or whatever. They ask you about it.

Susan [00:22:50]:
You why? And then they just go on instead of saying, well, I wanna make this very clear to you. This can happen. Like, do you think if you'd had the warning story, like, this can happen? I mean, even you know? I don't know. Do you think, they

Ruby [00:23:06]:
They did warn me, but not, I don't think enough. And that is why I want to be, I want to talk a lot about this subject because I even think if you're listening to this and you haven't fallen that far down the pitcher plant yet, you can get a handle on it earlier. Or even if someone's just had surgery, I think we could prevent you from going down this same route. But I don't know. That's like talking to a teenager and saying, you know, just don't drink alcohol. When you don't think you're going to get addicted and you don't think that's possible or you don't know what it feels like, you kinda keep getting away with it. Right, Susan? Like, it's like a

Susan [00:23:50]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:23:50]:
I think I would have kept trying to drink alcohol because I worked in the wine industry. I would've done it anyway, not knowing, I think. Because

Susan [00:24:02]:
Well, I think it's when you just say I wanna bring it back to when you said I don't didn't think I had an addictive personality. And that's the misnomer because it's not about a personality. It's about alcohol. Alcohol is an addictive substance, and that's what's missing in the conversation. That's what's missing out in our knowledge in society. Because even my husband was saying, how come we didn't learn that about, that to be careful, more careful around alcohol, that it's an addictive substance? We don't learn that. Careful around alcohol, that it's an addictive substance. We don't learn that.

Susan [00:24:30]:
Right. But we learn that it's an addictive substance for some people. And then we all assume we're not those people. And then we all assume we're not those people.

Ruby [00:24:40]:
Right. Well, what if everybody is on this trajectory or on this it's it's it's it's not some people are going to be alcoholic. Like, I don't like that term, but that's the old term and it's still used. It's not like you're either alcoholic or not. Right? It's everybody's “scope”. You know? Everybody is there. Even my grandmother used to drink 1 or 2 glasses of wine, you know, a year, she's on it, meaning it's possible to become addicted. I think it's possible for anybody,

Susan [00:25:14]:
really. Well, she was in never and every now and again, like, very every well, if you think about the pitcher plant, Imagine a pitcher plant with all these bees. We're bees. And we're all floating around. And we land at the top, and we sip and we sip. But if you don't come by the pitcher plant more than a couple of times a year, then you're not gonna slide down very fast. Right? But if you're sipping all the time and you're sipping more and more and you have to go deeper into the plant to get more and more nectar because we built up this tolerance and we need more to feel the way we wanna feel. Well, how much faster are we gonna slide down that pitcher plant if we're hanging around it more?

Ruby [00:25:51]:
Right? Well, I always think there's just one, I don't know, accelerator event that away from anybody who drinks, you're it's possible you're one event away. And the event could be weight loss surgery. The event could be the death of a family member. It could be a divorce. It could be something where you then use alcohol to cope and try to numb. Yeah. That's why I think it's possible for anybody that's drinking any amount. It's once you start to use it, right, as that coping tool and give it a job.

Ruby [00:26:25]:
You know? Oh, that's it's the job to help me get through this divorce or help me get through “empty nester”. You know? I started drinking even more when I was an empty nester. So there were different events that happened in your life. But it can also just be just you like you said, like, you just do more. You just end up. That's why the really good question is, are you drinking more than you were drinking last year? And I think that's a really important question for people with weight loss surgery or anybody. Have you noticed that, like, each year you kinda just drink a little more, whether it's more often or the amount is more, or you're earlier in the day, all three of those were happening to me at once. It was, like, starting to be earlier in the day, more frequently, and more volume, more alcohol.

Ruby [00:27:16]:
Wow.

Susan [00:27:16]:
Yeah. Yeah. I could really see how that just creates weight loss surgery really creates an environment for that to happen really quickly.

Ruby [00:27:26]:
Yeah. So the point of this whole episode is just to let you know you're not alone. I have been there. There are solutions, and I really wanna help. I really wanna help change your brain, change your mind too so that you just don't want you just want a life that you don't wanna escape from. You don't wanna numb.

Susan [00:27:49]:
Yeah. What would you think the first step for somebody who likes, even this person who the listener that wrote this question, what would be the first thing that they could do, like, today to just start to Yeah. Challenge or change their drinking?

Ruby [00:28:05]:
The first step is to become aware of your drinking. I call it mindful drinking. Right? So you're just really aware of what you feel after you drink? What does it feel like? And what are your thoughts and feelings as you drink instead of mindlessly drinking? Mindlessly drinking was what I did, which is just instantly pour a glass after work, drink it as fast as I could, already be pouring another glass, not even noticing what it tastes like, feels like. It's just like you do it. Like a robot. I felt like I was a robot, like a robot.

Ruby [00:28:45]:
I'm gonna just keep drinking, watching TV or eating or cooking dinner and just, like, keep drinking. Right? Yeah.

Susan [00:28:51]:
Yeah. Or autopilot. People call it that. Yeah. Yeah. 

Ruby [00:28:56]:
What do you think would be the first step?

Susan [00:28:58]:
Yeah. Definitely awareness. I think you're right. And awareness with being objective, not beating yourself up, but just and being really honest with yourself. Mhmm. How much am I drinking? How often am I drinking? And what are the jobs of giving alcohol? Because those are the nuts you're gonna need to crack and find other resources and other ways to cope in more healthy ways. Mhmm. Right? Because drinking just you never cope with that stressor.

Susan [00:29:29]:
Right? You just keep numbing it, and then the stressor's still there. And then, you know Yeah. And then the next day, it's still there, so then you need to numb it again. And so yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:29:39]:
And then get a coach because

Susan [00:29:41]:
Yeah.

Ruby [00:29:41]:
I think being alone was the worst. You know, doing this on my own, being alone, feeling like nobody gets me, you know, having a group or just even 1:1 coaching because then you can really share and get rid of that shame. You know? Again, double fold shame from drinking and an eating disorder. Right? So, lots of shame. It felt so heavy. And just to be able to talk, talk it through and share and know you're not alone, It's just like a weight is lifted and then you can start to work on your, your alcohol and your food. If I was able to work on my alcohol, like I said, and then go back to how can I really lose weight naturally to keep it off for life and change my lifestyle? It's a lifestyle, not just a diet. Yeah.

Susan [00:30:30]:
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And it's so amazing that you have this experience. And like we've always said, shame cannot survive in the light. And so when you talk about these things, there's nothing better than hearing somebody else struggle. Not not that you wanna hear them struggle, but when you hear someone else's story and you're like, oh my gosh. Me too.

Susan [00:30:50]:
I'm not alone. I'm not crazy. I'm not the only one that deals with this. I'm not defective. There's not something wrong with me.

Ruby [00:30:56]:
Nothing wrong with you.

Susan [00:30:57]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's so much hope, and I love that you have this experience, and you're able to help women with this.

Ruby [00:31:04]:
Yeah.

Susan [00:31:04]:
And men, I suppose, because I guess, you know, men have weight loss surgery too, and I'm sure that probably there's similar, you know Yeah. Issues with it. Yeah.

Ruby [00:31:13]:
Yeah. I mean, a lot of the groups I have are for women only, but 1 on 1, sure. I would absolutely love to work with men as well. It's the same. Women, though, actually have a difference; it affects their hormones a little more. So I think we're even more susceptible than men, if that's possible, but it's true. So interesting.

Susan [00:31:33]:
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, those darn hormones Uh-huh. They always get us. Oh my gosh. Well, this was fascinating and such good information. I'm so glad that we had this question from a listener, and we were able to really address it with so much expertise from you, coach Ruby. You're amazing.

Susan [00:31:51]:
And I was really interested to find out more about this and more about your journey. So this is really special. And now we're at the point in our podcast where we get to talk about what is helping us feel lit. And it's your turn, which is so awesome. So it's the All Ruby All the Time episode. 


Ruby [00:32:11]:
Well, I thought today I would talk about this because I'm at this whole theme, but it's food prep. I prepare food prep every Sunday, pretty much every Sunday, and it's just, it makes me feel like I have control over my eating. Even if life goes crazy, I make sure I've prepped. So I will go to the grocery store or the farmer's market, or we have this really cute little farm stand, kind of a store. And I pick out like I said, a few weeks ago, I love, like, eating a rainbow of food. So I pick out all kinds of food, fruits, vegetables, and meat. I might also make a salad that I can eat throughout the week, and I just love it. So I'm going to give you a few, like okay.

Ruby [00:33:09]:
So I love to do a frittata every single week. Why I like a frittata is you could just put in any any kinda like anything you got. You could make it. I love it. I make a big frittata and cut that into 6 6 different meals. I put them into individual containers, and I might put half in the freezer, half in the refrigerator, depending how my week is going. I mean, I still will eat other things. I can cook any night.

Ruby [00:33:33]:
It's just I always if I'm busy, I've got, like, a frittata. And then I might make, I love cooking some sort of, like, chicken or pork or something with a whole bunch of roasted vegetables in the oven. I call it, like, a one pan meal. So that. Yeah. So I eat keto. So I'm not eating the pastas, the breads, the the rice. I really focused on protein, good fat.

Ruby [00:34:00]:
Actually, good fat is the most important. A lot of protein and vegetables. And then I add fruits as kind of my fun, my dessert. And what's really helped me is something called and I posted it on our Facebook community. It's called the fat balm. Oh, yeah. And I will eat a fat balm every day because it kinda if I I'm really busy, like, back to back to back calls and meetings and things, I can go, like, run and grab a a fat bomb with a little bit of coffee, and it, like, will get me through a whole another hour or 2. So it's really a good strategy for me.

Ruby [00:34:35]:
So I food prep about 200 fat bombs and put some in the freezer, and, yeah, I'm pretty organized in that way because how do I wanna feel? It's based on an emotion based goal. When I am at this weight, which is just a normal weight, you guys. I'm not, like, super skinny or I just, I feel good. Right? I just wanna feel good in my body and it has to do with the foods I'm eating. You are what you eat. Right?

Susan [00:35:00]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so inspiring. I'm always inspired by you. Yes. Because now I have more time. I want to do some food prepping.

Susan [00:35:09]:
What I was kind of even telling my husband, because sometimes he cooks, is, like, if we're going to cook, let's cook enough to where we at least have leftovers either for another meal or lunch. Yes. Because he's lovely, but, you know, I said, get zucchini at the store. He comes home with 1 zucchini. I'm like, seriously? So he's learned now, but I was like, what am I gonna do with 1 zucchini? It's hilarious. But just even that and then and I'm getting into a whole new routine now that I've retired from my day job and only doing my coaching business where I have a little bit more time. And one of the things that I do wanna start doing is is make time for food prep because Yeah. I I think it is important that it helps you stick to your goals so you don't have a ice cream for dinner like we did the other day, which was sort of fun and sort of summer and whatever.

Susan [00:36:00]:
And that's fun to just do fun things.

Ruby [00:36:02]:
Yeah. Well, even if I'm, like, driving home and I'm like, I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. I should just stop and get something. I go, no. I have a frittata, for example. It's gonna be once I get home, I can microwave it, and I can be eating in less than 5 minutes. So it's like Yeah.

Ruby [00:36:19]:
There's always healthy food that I don't then make poor choices, I guess. I make better choices when it's just there. That's so great. Makes you feel lit.

Susan [00:36:29]:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, you are what you eat, like you said. So we feel so much better in our body when we're fueling our body with good food. So Exactly. That's amazing.

Ruby [00:36:38]:
This has been such a fun episode. Oh, just so good. So good.

Susan [00:36:42]:
Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing so honestly and so candidly because I think it's really gonna help people, other women. And I'm excited for this episode to air. And so if you are inspired, then you haven't joined our Facebook group. Please go to the show notes, click on the link, and join us because Ruby and I are in there. There's other like minded women, and it's a great place to connect as well. And we post other bonus stuff in our Facebook group. So but, anyway, well, this is a little bit longer episode, but so worth it.

Susan [00:37:15]:
Okay. We will sign off and say goodbye.

Ruby [00:37:17]:
Bye bye. 

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