Feel Lit Alcohol Free

Bliss Without Booze: Ingenious Ways to Outsmart Boredom / Ep. 025

July 02, 2024 Susan Larkin & Ruby Williams Season 1 Episode 25
Bliss Without Booze: Ingenious Ways to Outsmart Boredom / Ep. 025
Feel Lit Alcohol Free
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Feel Lit Alcohol Free
Bliss Without Booze: Ingenious Ways to Outsmart Boredom / Ep. 025
Jul 02, 2024 Season 1 Episode 25
Susan Larkin & Ruby Williams

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Welcome to Episode 25 of the "Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast" with your hosts, Ruby and Susan. In this episode, they explore the concept of boredom and its connection to alcohol consumption. In answering a listener's question: "I went over 30 days about a year and a half ago. I'm losing control again. I have been for a while. Need to just stop. I want to be the best me I can be without alcohol keeping me from achieving it. I have realized that boredom is a huge trigger for me as I sat here on my normal day drinking Saturday. What strategies can help me cope with boredom, especially during the times when I drink out of being bored?" 

Maybe you can relate? In answering the hosts share strategies for interrupting the cycle of boredom drinking and self-sabotage, emphasizing the importance of finding joy and pleasure without resorting to alcohol. The hosts delve into the impact of dopamine on the brain and the significance of gratitude. They encourage listeners to create a personalized toolbox of coping mechanisms and share their experiences with daily practices. In addition, Ruby and Susan discuss the importance of identifying projects and hobbies to engage in, the significance of physical movement, and the role of self-reflection in breaking the cycle of drinking. As alcohol freedom coaches, they aim to help listeners break free from alcohol and feel "lit," healthier, freer, and more in control. Tune in as they invite listeners to try their tactics, share feedback, and join them in their facebook group!

We want to hear from you! Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

Find community and connection on the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/feellitalcoholfreepodcast

Watch Episode on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@FeelLitAlcoholFreePodcast/videos

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychologic...

Show Notes Transcript

Send us a text

Welcome to Episode 25 of the "Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast" with your hosts, Ruby and Susan. In this episode, they explore the concept of boredom and its connection to alcohol consumption. In answering a listener's question: "I went over 30 days about a year and a half ago. I'm losing control again. I have been for a while. Need to just stop. I want to be the best me I can be without alcohol keeping me from achieving it. I have realized that boredom is a huge trigger for me as I sat here on my normal day drinking Saturday. What strategies can help me cope with boredom, especially during the times when I drink out of being bored?" 

Maybe you can relate? In answering the hosts share strategies for interrupting the cycle of boredom drinking and self-sabotage, emphasizing the importance of finding joy and pleasure without resorting to alcohol. The hosts delve into the impact of dopamine on the brain and the significance of gratitude. They encourage listeners to create a personalized toolbox of coping mechanisms and share their experiences with daily practices. In addition, Ruby and Susan discuss the importance of identifying projects and hobbies to engage in, the significance of physical movement, and the role of self-reflection in breaking the cycle of drinking. As alcohol freedom coaches, they aim to help listeners break free from alcohol and feel "lit," healthier, freer, and more in control. Tune in as they invite listeners to try their tactics, share feedback, and join them in their facebook group!

We want to hear from you! Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Your question could be the highlight of a future episode!

Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://feellitpodcast.com/Guide

Find community and connection on the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/feellitalcoholfreepodcast

Watch Episode on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@FeelLitAlcoholFreePodcast/videos

Websites:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychologic...

Susan [00:00:00]:
Sick and tired of your love-hate relationship with wine?

Ruby [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the feel it alcohol free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby Williams.

Susan [00:00:09]:
And I'm coach Susan Larkin.

Ruby [00:00:11]:
We are 2 former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol

Susan [00:00:17]:
and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and

Ruby [00:00:25]:
more in control of your life.

Susan [00:00:27]:
So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel lit alcohol free. And don't forget, grab a

Ruby [00:00:32]:
copy of our wine free weekend guide after the show.

Susan [00:00:36]:
Hello. Hello. Welcome. Hello. So excited to be here again. We are having so much fun with this podcast, and we are loving, loving, loving all of our new listeners. We've had quite a few downloads, and we're just so excited. It's just just so exciting for us.

Susan [00:00:56]:
We're just like, woah. People are liking it. Like, every time somebody says they like it, I'm like, you like it? Oh my gosh. Thank you. So it just makes us feel so good and makes us just feel like we're doing good work, which I think we are. So that's really awesome. Yeah.

Ruby [00:01:11]:
Just getting the message out is just what we want and maybe helping to change the trajectory of lives. Yeah.

Susan [00:01:19]:
Which is pretty big. Yeah. So, like, another life that has written in and given us a question that we're gonna answer today, which is a common thing we hear a lot in our coaching. Right, Ruby?

Ruby [00:01:34]:
Yes. Yes. And I can relate to this question big time. Yeah.

Susan [00:01:39]:
Okay. So I'm gonna read the question, which is, I went over 30 days about a year and a half ago. I'm losing control again. I have been for a while. Need to just stop. Ugh. I can feel the pain. Right? I wanna be the best me I can be without alcohol keeping me from achieving it.

Susan [00:01:58]:
I've realized that boredom is a huge trigger for me as I sat here on a normal day drinking day on and on my normal day drinking Saturday. What strategies could help me cope with boredom, especially during the times when I drink out of being bored? So Ruby. Yeah. What do you think?

Ruby [00:02:19]:
Well, I wanna first I think it's always a good idea to, like, kinda delve into the science a little bit. I like to do that. So, yeah, so psychologically and neurologically, alcohol is definitely impacting our brains. You know? And let's just shed some light into why it can lead to this feeling of boredom. You know? Alcohol affects the brain's reward system by releasing dopamine, and it creates a temporary sense of pleasure and satisfaction. You know, that dopamine. However, you know, over time, the brain starts to associate alcohol with pleasure and other activities without it. It seems like things are just less rewarding.

Ruby [00:03:05]:
Our regular things are just less rewarding. So this can lead to a cycle where nonalcoholic activities feel dull, because the brain's threshold for pleasure has been artificially raised, and it makes it harder to find the joy in simpler everyday experiences. So let me give you an example, let's think of someone who enjoys painting. You know? And initially, they find it relaxing and fulfilling to paint. It's like something they love. And but if they start drinking regularly, they might begin to feel that painting is less enjoyable without a drink. And as the alcohol starts to alter your brain and your reward response, you know, it it just feels like less fun to do the fun things. Like, another like, I love hiking, and I get, like, that natural high from exercising and hiking and being out in nature, but eventually, that just doesn't compare to that buzz you're getting from alcohol because it's so artificially high.

Ruby [00:04:14]:
I mean, there's nothing in nature that gets your dopamine raised that artificially high. It's so high, and then you have that, you know, low afterwards. And, you start to, like, instead of hiking or exercising, you wanna just drink. I hear this all the time. Like, I used to run-in the mornings, you know, or I used to hike in the afternoons or whatever. So you start to yearn for the drink, and then you shift, and this can then be of a cycle, a cycle that just, you know, and alcohol only starts to provide what you think is not boredom. So, from my story, okay, I wanna just share a little bit about me because I really, really relate to this. Like, bored would pop into my head.

Ruby [00:05:04]:
It was almost like seeing the sentence, I'm bored, and the very next millisecond was drink. There was not even a gap in time. And when I think back now, it's kind of interesting. I realized that I was the most boring person drinking. Like, not only did I drink because I thought I was bored, but the things I did once I started drinking were just, like, watching TV or staying home. So it's so interesting. I love this topic. We have a really great episode for you now that I've gone to science.

Ruby [00:05:43]:
So Susan, why do we think boredom is so bad? Like, boredom, bad.

Susan [00:05:48]:
Yeah. Well, I think that in our culture, we've been kind of taught that being bored is bad. Like, for example, when you are a kid and you're like, I'm bored. At least in my family, it would be like, well, I'll give you something to do. You know? So it was like, oh, being bored was bad. You didn't wanna tell mom you were bored because then she'll find you something to do, which is usually chores. So it was sort of like it was negative to go to your mom and say, you know or your parents and say, you know, we were bored. And I also remember I have this great story from my French teacher, and she was from France.

Susan [00:06:20]:
And she was always like, oh, you American children. You're always saying you're bored. She goes, you know, in French, I am bored. Means I bore myself. And then it's like, oh, okay. So that's, like, bad. Like, if you bore yourself, then you're boring, just like you said. So there's, like, a lot of negativity around being bored.

Susan [00:06:37]:
I also think that a lot of it is not necessarily that we're bored, but maybe I found this with myself is, like, I had become through drinking and just the busyness of our culture in life that I become very disconnected from myself. Mhmm. And then to this listener's point, like, I would find myself with a little bit of extra time on a Saturday afternoon. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. And that would make me anxious and then that would make me drink. So just being disconnected from ourselves and not used to being with myself and then having unsupportive coping mechanisms, because my only coping mechanism was drinking, then I would just drink, you know, reach for a drink and day drinking, you know, on the weekends when I would be bored. And so, yeah, it's but, actually, again, to science, there is an upside to boredom. There is good that can come from being bored, and, scientifically, boredom boosts our creativity and allows for curiosity.

Susan [00:07:53]:
So when you're bored, if you can just get a little curious and, you know, curiosity is one of those words we use all the time. It's part of the alcohol free journey. So if all of a sudden you're bored, you can be like, oh, you know, what's going on? Why oh, I'm feeling a little bored. And get curious about it and just allow yourself to just kind of be bored. It can lead to important breakthroughs maybe on a personal level. It can give you some insights, maybe to try new things. Right? It can give you a little kick in the butt of, like, well, maybe I'll try this or maybe I'll try that. So, I mean, what do

Ruby [00:08:26]:
you think, Ruby? Yeah. The upside to boredom. I mean, boredom really can be a good thing. Like, it really can. Like, it can prompt us to seek out new experiences and hobbies or challenges, and it can actually be a signal that our current activities or whatever we're doing or our environment is not stimulating enough. Like, it's there to inform us. If that word pops into your mind, you know, it's a place to possibly expand or be creative, like you said, or discover yourself or use this as an opportunity for personal growth. And I think kind of moving through the boredom is where you can actually find a really rich life, I think.

Ruby [00:09:25]:
I think it's part of it's part of this whole alcohol free journey, I think, it is figuring this boredom out and maybe changing. Right? Changing we talk about turnarounds or shifts, and, you know, boredom is bad too. How about if boredom is good? And yeah. Or if

Susan [00:09:46]:
you're not ready for that complete turnaround, it's like, I'm curious about what could be good about being bored. I think also sometimes, this just came to me, we can conflate boredom with just being uncomfortable with relaxation. Like, I'm not good at relaxing. Especially in the beginning, if I was conflating just the you know, a natural rest and relaxation state that I was not used to being in with being bored, It would make me anxious to have nothing to do. And naturally, during my alcohol free journey, because it was during COVID, there wasn't that much to do, but there was a peace about it because you couldn't go do anything. So there wasn't that pressure of I should be doing something. That's the pressure I always put on myself. Mhmm.

Susan [00:10:40]:
So I would have this time in the afternoons that I wasn't drinking, and I would just be wandering around the yard because basically that was the only place I could go, right, during COVID. And I was so, you know, grateful to have a yard. And then I would just sort of wander around, and then one day, I found, like, these flagstones that were, like, under the deck. And I'm like, oh. I started pulling them out, and then I started making a little path around my garden. I didn't have that as a plan to do. That just came out of me just having this time being bored and just wandering around my yard, and then I found something to do, which was Mhmm. You know, make this little path.

Susan [00:11:16]:
So yeah.

Ruby [00:11:17]:
Yeah. I mean, being bored is actually something really important. We we we're having a little chat earlier before the episode around children, and and, actually, if we're so busy as adults or children, and we're just go, go, go, go doing our to do list, doing our chore list, you know, work, and then we, you know, I think about it like those parent, you know, the parents that just have their kids, you know, doing one activity to the next activity, but there's something so beautiful to being bored. And like you said, what comes out of that is creativity a lot of times.

Ruby [00:11:59]:
And maybe it's something really profound or new, or you experience something new, a new hobby, a new I don't know. You can even even with your phone, you can go down, like, rabbit holes, which are really fun. But, I really wanna talk about this you're like, well, how because the original question is, like, what what was the actual question? 

Susan [00:12:25]:
What strategies can help me cope with boredom, especially during the times when I drink out of being bored?    

Ruby [00:12:31]:
So what are some strategies?

Susan [00:12:31]:
And I know you have one, Ruby. Yes. I have a

Ruby [00:12:33]:
good one. I love this strategy. I call it my “4 boredom bucket lists”. So, like, boredom whenever boredom pops in your mind, I want you to go to this list that you're gonna prepare, and I want this list to be big if you can. Like, meaning, put all even some crazy stuff on there that you don't think is even possible, but just for fun. So the 4 buckets are I'll say them first, and then we'll go through each one. So self care Okay. Like friendships or connection or community, whatever you wanna eat, like friends and, you know, people.

Ruby [00:13:08]:
Projects and hobbies are number 3. And the 4th one is, like, move your body in some way. So, like, get up and do something. Right? So for self care, you know, you can ask yourself this question. What do I find that's soothing and comforting? And it's not all about, like, getting a pedicure or going having a spa day. Self care is just we talk about it a lot, but it's so much more than it's that relaxation piece that you were talking about earlier, Susan. Like, self care, what's soothing, what's comforting? You know? Do you wanna I wanna get your what are your, like, top 2 or 3 self care, Susan?

Susan [00:13:47]:
Care, what I would do is I like reading. Reading is I mean, that's an I n g activity that could also be in, like, an activity. Self care oh my gosh. I probably need to work on this. You're stumping me, Ruby. I probably need to work on my self care.

Ruby [00:14:06]:
I mean, I go

Susan [00:14:08]:
for a walk. If I feel like I'm anxious or I need self care at the moment, walking with no podcast, no nothing, just going from being out in nature is my self care. Like, I just love being outside and in nature. I would go do feet up the wall, maybe, if I can't go outside, doing a little yoga snack, just move my body with, you know I call it snack. It was like a 5 a 10 to 15 minute yoga session. Mhmm. Yeah. Yes.

Susan [00:14:38]:
I get yeah. Doing your nails and stuff sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes doing my nails feels more like a chore than self care. So

Ruby [00:14:45]:
My latest kind of self care is at any time, I can find, like, just 5 minutes. I have a deck now right out here, and I just for 5 minutes, I, like, sit in the sun, and I just let the sun kinda bathe me. And, oh my gosh, that to me is, like, so soothing and comforting. Anyway, I can't wait to hear your list. Like, you know, join our Facebook group, and let's post some of these ideas. But okay. So friendship, community, connection, that's number 2. Mhmm.

Ruby [00:15:15]:
So some ideas I have are, like, call a friend or put a, like, a coffee date with a friend on your calendar. What ideas do you have, Susan? Yeah. I would I mean, all

Susan [00:15:27]:
of my family's out in California, so then it's like, oh, I haven't talked to my sister for a while. I could call her, call my mom, text my daughter. She doesn't answer her phone very often, so I text her. Yeah. Connecting with my family, I think, is really important to me, and I am super busy right now. It's really funny that, like, I'm like, self care. I don't know. I don't have any.

Ruby [00:15:50]:
Well, you go through those

Susan [00:15:51]:
periods of time. Yeah. So, yeah, calling and, yeah, connecting with I have a friend that we love to just go on walks and hikes and, reaching out. Yeah. Yeah. Reaching out.

Ruby [00:16:03]:
And these alcohol free communities can really be so you don't feel so alone. You know? Like, if you're involved in any alcohol free communities or our Facebook group, like I said. So let's go on to number

Susan [00:16:17]:
3.

Ruby [00:16:17]:
That's number 3. Projects and hobbies. So the questions you could ask yourself are like, what did I used to like to do? Think back before drinking, maybe, or what are some fun things that you would like to try? You know, maybe something might be on your bucket list. Like, put it down. Like, I wanna learn how to surf. I'll put it down.

Susan [00:16:37]:
That's awesome. Yeah. I think it's great. Yeah. I had a client who just recently flew, like, went into those chambers where you 're the zero gravity, and they and the air that that, like, lifts you up and was flying and looked and posted a picture and looked like a superhero. She looked like, you know, Superwoman, like flying. Or

Ruby [00:17:02]:
That's so cool.

Susan [00:17:03]:
Yeah. It was really neat. It was really Yeah. Yeah. But that's not something I would ever think of, but it's like, I really wanna try one of those, floating pools where you you what do they call? Zero gravity floating pools, the salt pool where you lay there where it's sensory deprivation. It's all dark or there's just little stars and you lay there. I've never tried that. So putting that on a list, I would really like that.

Susan [00:17:25]:
Have you?

Ruby [00:17:26]:
I've done it. Yeah. I used to do it all the time, until it closed down during COVID in our town. But how fun. Like, what I hear oftentimes is once you, like, really think about projects and, like, hobbies or maybe, for example, you used to play the violin, or you used to go hiking. I mentioned hiking earlier. Or just, what have you dropped off your radar after drinking? It might kind of surprise you and maybe make you a little sad, like, oh my gosh. I used to paint or whatever it is.

Ruby [00:18:02]:
And so I want you to again, we're just creating the list right now.

Susan [00:18:06]:
Yes. Yes. So I wanna learn. I mean, I did sort of teach myself how to play piano. Now I'm between piano and guitar because I wanna be able to play and sing. Cool. So whichever one's easier. I'm not sure between guitar and piano, which one I could learn easy enough to be able to sing and play at the same time. So that's when I retire, that is one of the things that I'm going to look forward

Ruby [00:18:28]:
to doing. So cool, Susan. You have so much more space. Voice. And the reason why I know this is we shared a hotel room, and she was singing all the time. You don't know that, but you sing all the time, Susan. You just sing little songs, Beautiful. But, and then number 4.

Ruby [00:18:48]:
So, again, you're gonna picture a piece of paper, and you're gonna have 4 columns. Yeah. And then the last one is like moving your body. You could see it as exercise, but it's really moving your body. Like, I love yoga and walking. Pickleball is the new rage. I mean, what would you put on yours, Susan?

Susan [00:19:08]:
Yeah. Pickleball, we just started trying, and it actually is easy enough to where you can get good enough to play with people pretty quickly. So that's been really fun. Yeah. Any, just a short walk,

Ruby [00:19:21]:
yoga.

Susan [00:19:22]:
I love yoga. Just even just putting music on and dancing around a little bit. One time I was doing that, and then my husband walked in.

Ruby [00:19:29]:
I'm like,

Susan [00:19:30]:
hello. He's like, what are you doing? I like dancing.

Ruby [00:19:33]:
Dancing. Like, no one's watching.

Susan [00:19:36]:
Yeah. Yeah. And that was kind of fun. Yeah. What else? Move. Just move. Yeah. It doesn't have to be like “exercise”, like, I'm going out for this big power walk or anything.

Ruby [00:19:50]:
I love “move your body” rather than “exercise” because to me, exercise is like work sweat. You know? I like to do the things where I don't have to sweat that much, necessarily.

Susan [00:19:58]:
Oh my

Ruby [00:19:58]:
god. But, okay. So then you've got your list. Wait.

Susan [00:20:00]:
Oh, what about wondering? Do I have a good thing about wandering? Just wandering around your backyard or wandering around the neighborhood looking at rocks. Like, that's when I put my I've been doing this practice where I put my feet in the grass, which you talked about, you know, earthing, and I've been doing it. So I've been going out and doing it and putting my feet in the grass, and then I just wander around. And then I find myself weeding and, you know, oh, there's a weed and I pull that. But I just wander around. I just wander. It feels very relaxing. It's

Ruby [00:20:28]:
Yeah. Because, again, we're so busy, busy, busy, busy that it's different to, like, wandering and having that time that we're technically bored, but where creativity or relaxation really can get into our bodies inside. So you've got this big list. Add even more. What if you could have, like, 20 things or more for each of those categories, like all the different people you could call for the or you're, you know, maybe you have a church group or a book club group, or you could just all the different communities and people and all the different projects, even put things like clean out my closet. Because when you stop drinking, you're gonna have so much more energy to actually do all of these things that are gonna, that you're gonna put on your list. So then, here's the trick. You have your list out, and when that pops into your head, it will.

Ruby [00:21:19]:
It is just like, I'm bored. It just pops into your head, and that's

Susan [00:21:23]:
when you're gonna get it, so instead of drinking, you're gonna go to this list.

Ruby [00:21:27]:
Yeah. You'll look at the list, and you're gonna whatever calls you, whether it's move your body is calling you or you really need to talk to a friend is calling you, You know, which one of those? Or self care or move your body. So you're gonna just pick something. And if it pops into your head again, go back to the list, pick something else. Keep adding to it. You can make this list super long. Yeah. So that is the tactic or tip or strategy that we were gonna share with you today.

Susan [00:21:56]:
Yeah. I love that. I love it. I love the I love having suggestions craving. Right a craving. Right? Because that's sort of how it works. The cue is the thought, I'm bored, and then you get the craving of, oh, I drink when I'm bored, if that's the cycle that we're trying to break here. And then those moments, you don't necessarily have all you're in kind of crisis mode in that moment of the craving, and you don't necessarily have all your thinking brain power.

Susan [00:22:30]:
So when you just have this visually available to you and you just, like, pick 1. Pick 1. It's like you don't have to think.

Ruby [00:22:38]:
Yeah. Another thing you could even do is, like, put them all on little pieces of paper and pull out out of a hat. You know? I've heard of that too. But this way, I think I like having the 4 buckets because you can really then start to listen within, what do I really need right now? If you're lonely, you might need a friend. Yeah. But if you're, you know, anyway.

Susan [00:22:59]:
So Well, asking yourself what you really need, so important. Just cons always when you're drinking, because you're drinking to change the way you feel.

Ruby [00:23:09]:
Mhmm.

Susan [00:23:10]:
And this is, I think, just the fastest way to start to get out of that drinking cycle and that boredom drinking cycle. So we have to, you know, we have to interrupt that cycle, interrupt the wheel of self sabotage going on there because, you know, this this listener is saying, I don't wanna drink. I have to stop. And I had been stopped for a while, and now I started up again because of this reason. So there's self sabotage going on there. Yes. We need to interrupt that, and this is a great way to do that. Yeah.

Ruby [00:23:41]:
A game changer. There's many, many, many clients where this was, like, the tool that really moved them on to the next level of their journey, the next the next thing. We are just picking out all the different things that beliefs or reasons why you drink or reasons why you cope. And, yeah, this is how the journey works. It's

Susan [00:24:04]:
yeah. It's pretty cool. Alright. Yeah. Drinking is just a maladaptive coping mechanism. Right? And I think when you have an addiction it is exactly that. It's that we've used this maladaptive coping mechanism, and we keep using it because the substance that we're using is an addictive substance, and so it gets sticky. And then it repeats itself, and you get onto that wheel of self sabotage, and then you need these Mhmm.

Susan [00:24:34]:
Tactics to help interrupt that. I I feel like that it just takes the shame and blame, and it just sort of, it just makes sense. Right? And then it's just like, oh, okay. This is what's happening. So it takes all that, like, I'm a bad person. There's something wrong with me out of that whole equation. It's just like, oh, been using this as a coping mechanism. I need different coping mechanisms.

Susan [00:24:56]:
Yeah. Or positive.

Ruby [00:24:57]:
And if we go back to science, it's like, yep. You drank, so your dopamine was raised so high, and then you just can't get that in nature anywhere. So your brain creates that cycle. Yes. Cycle.

Susan [00:25:14]:
And it's truly 100%

Ruby [00:25:17]:
not your fault. It's not your fault.

Susan [00:25:20]:
And it's reversible because then once you eliminate alcohol, you start to feel pleasure from this real pleasure, not faux pleasure of the high dopamine hit. You start to feel real pleasure when you see when I'm out in nature with my feet in the grass, when I hear the birds. I love hearing the birds.

Ruby [00:25:39]:
We have crazy birds

Susan [00:25:40]:
around here. Sometimes they're, like, fighting, and I and, you know, you just take the time to listen to them. I'm like, they're having a conversation over there. What is going on? You know? Or just seeing the beautiful flowers blooming, you know, at this time of year and just, all of a sudden, you do feel joy, but sometimes it takes some time. And so that's where Yeah.

Ruby [00:25:58]:
The strategy. Yeah. And there's an adjustment period where your dopamine and other brain chemicals need to go back to homeostasis. So but you just start to notice that you feel better. You feel lit. Over time. Yeah.

Susan [00:26:13]:
Shirt today. I'm

Ruby [00:26:14]:
wearing my shirt. Yeah.

Susan [00:26:15]:
I love it. Yeah. And you can explore. So now you've written this big long list, and then we wanna also be curious and see what do you notice when you do this activity. Does it really bring you a lot of pleasure? Was it fun? Was it, you know, something so then you can hone your list of, like, these are my top 10 here, or these are my top 5 in each of these buckets. These are my go to's. And then you have your own personalized toolbox for when you need a coping mechanism, because you can use these boredom buckets in other areas too. End of an exhausted day, you go, okay.

Susan [00:26:52]:
You know, I feel like reaching for a drink. No. I'm gonna reach for this instead. You know? Mhmm. One of your buckets.

Ruby [00:27:00]:
So yeah. Yes. Bucket.

Susan [00:27:01]:
Really good. Okay. Well, feel lit. Ruby, you got the shirt on, and it's your turn to tell us what you do to feel lit. So what do you got for us today?

Ruby [00:27:13]:
One of my most favorite things I wanna share with you guys, you, Susan, and all the listeners. I've been doing this practice for, I think, about four and a half years now. Almost every single day, I listen to a guided meditation that's called today is a new day. And the whole guided meditation is about 10 minutes, and I'm not gonna share the whole thing with you, but you can find these types of guided meditations out on YouTube, and the one I had, I found on Audible. But here, you know, basically, while I'm getting ready, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, getting all ready for the day, I have this going on in the background, and it's words like, today is a new day. You know? Mhmm. You can get stuck in the continuity of what life has offered you so far, and it's hard not to feel that string that holds us to the past and the perceived string that links us to our future. But today is absolutely a fresh start.

Ruby [00:28:18]:
It's never happened before. It will never happen again. And you can ask yourself, you know, where do I wanna go? Where do I wanna be? Where do I wanna talk to? And instead of just doing the same things every day that you've done yesterday, you can experience the grace of today and say, I am truly blessed to be here today. I got to experience it today. And there is so much power in that.

Susan [00:28:49]:
That's great.

Ruby [00:28:50]:
Yeah. And that you can just ask yourself, you know, the next decision that you make, you can do the things that make you smile and feel good to your core. I know it's not easy if you're going through a rough patch, but today truly is a new day. So it's just kinda that, like, over and over. It's really beautiful because I think we forget that, That we really only get today for sure. You know? We mean, most likely, we're all gonna be here tomorrow. But, like, we're here for sure today, so let's take advantage of today. Wow.

Ruby [00:29:28]:
I know

Susan [00:29:29]:
that you did that. We have shared a room, and you've shared well. I love the song that you wake up to every morning unless you've changed it. Should I still do that? You can

Ruby [00:29:37]:
talk about that. I'll put that on for another Feel Lit episode.

Susan [00:29:39]:
Okay. Yeah. I love that song, and it comes up now. I have it on my playlist, and it comes up, and I love it. Yeah. No. It's beautiful doing guided meditation. I love that.

Ruby [00:29:49]:
Mhmm.

Susan [00:29:49]:
That's a new day. There's a tapping exercise too. There's tapping meditation. It's the same thing. Today's a good day, making it, you know, the best day. I'm just, like, really, you know, going through the whole tapping, which is awesome too. Yeah. That's great.

Ruby [00:30:06]:
Four and a half years. Wow.

Ruby [00:30:08]:
It is a big part of my life. I think it makes me much more grateful for today. Mhmm. Yeah.

Susan [00:30:17]:
Yeah. And gratitude is so important in this journey as well, or just in our life. Gratitude changes your brain, So that's amazing. I love it. Another thing I have to try, Ruby, you have the best things to try. So

Ruby [00:30:30]:
You do too.

Susan [00:30:31]:
If we can link to that one in Audible, and then if people have Audible, they can find that one, or they can find their own somewhere. But just this idea of today is a new day, even waking up to that Today is a new day. Yeah. Yes.

Ruby [00:30:44]:
And the first things you do in the day are so important, and I'll bring this up with that song on another call, so

Susan [00:30:51]:
we'll do that one. Okay. Okay. Well, this is the time when we usually close down. It's this has been a great episode. I feel like it'll be really, really helpful and useful to listeners. So let us know when you try some of these tactics. Like, we have a tactic helpful.

Susan [00:31:19]:
So please please please get in touch. We love to hear from you, and we will say goodbye for now. Bye bye.

Ruby [00:31:27]:
Bye. Thanks so much for listening to the Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show?

Susan [00:31:35]:
All you need to do is head over to Apple Podcasts and do 2 simple things. Leave a rating and review telling us what you think of the show. And in that review, ask us any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol free lifestyle. That's it.

Ruby [00:31:52]:
Then tune in to hear your question answered live. Don't forget to grab your copy of a wine free weekend at www.feelitpodcast.com.

Susan [00:32:02]:
And remember, do something today that will help you feel lit. See you next time.