Feel It: Strategies for Managing the Urge to Drink / Ep. 09

Welcome to the latest episode of the "Feel Lit Alcohol Free Podcast" with your hosts, Ruby and Susan! In this episode, they answer a listener's question:  I had a month alcohol free and was feeling so much better, but then I drank. Can you help me figure out how to deal with strong urges to drink? I can't seem to fight it, and I end up drinking wine.

Together, they discuss changing the mindset around alcohol urges, managing thoughts and emotions, and the concept of relapses or "data points" as valuable learning experiences. Susan shares her favorite urge tactic she designed called "Stop Drop & Roll". Ruby shares her thoughts on HALT, and exercise, emphasizing the importance of finding movement that feels good and the power of connecting with a community.  Susan opens up about her alcohol-free journey in 2020 and how she turned moments of boredom into opportunities for new experiences and hobbies.  The episode also features a listener's inspiring story of finding joy in a sober lifestyle through partner dancing. 

Join Ruby and Susan as they delve into tools for dealing with cravings, a demo of the "stop, drop, and roll" technique, and the importance of self-care and finding alternative activities to replace the urge to drink. Don't miss out on this insightful and empowering episode!

Click here for a video of Stop Drop & Roll tactic! https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/resources

Timestamp overview
00:00 Acronym HALT: check body signals before eating.

06:01 Longings lead to alcohol use, ignored heart's desires.

07:55 Stop Drop and Roll urge tactic.

08:16 Remember, recognize, and allow the urge to drink.

11:02 Set timer to manage urges.

15:55 Reframe exercise as moving your body freely.

18:28 Alcohol-free journey during COVID brought introspection.

21:18 Embracing challenges, investigating thoughts and feelings.

24:57 Listener in Facebook group shares her joy.

29:07 Liberation in ecstatic dancing.

30:57 Encouraging listeners to join the Facebook community.

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Connect with the Podcast Hosts:
Susan Larkin Coaching https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/
Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Susan: @drinklesswithsusan
Follow Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Feel Lit Alcohol Free podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological advice nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Transcript

Susan [00:00:00]:

Sick and tired of your love-hate relationship with wine?

Coach Ruby [00:00:05]:

Welcome to the Feel It Alcohol Free podcast. Hi. I'm coach Ruby Williams.

Susan [00:00:09]:

And I'm coach Susan Larkin.

Coach Ruby [00:00:11]:

We are 2 former wine lovers turned alcohol freedom coaches exposing the lies about alcohol

Susan [00:00:17]:

and giving you, our listeners, the tools to break free so you can feel lit. 

Coach Ruby [00:00:25]:

And when you're lit, you'll feel healthier, freer, and more in control of your life.

Susan [00:00:27]:

So relax, kick back, and get ready to feel it alcohol free. 

Ruby [00:00:33]:

And don't forget, grab a copy of our wine free weekend guide after the Show.

Susan [00:00:38]:

Hey, we are so excited to be here again for another wonderful episode of the Feel Lit Podcast. Welcome. Yay. Oh, so fun to be here with you, Ruby. I love doing this with you. And today, we have a really great question that we hear a lot in our coaching practices. And so I'm just gonna Jump in to the question, which is, I had a month alcohol free and was feeling so much better, but then I drank. Can you help me figure out how to deal with strong urges to drink? I can't seem to fight it, and I end up drinking wine.

Susan [00:01:21]:

Such a good question and so common. Yes. So it's really important to learn how to deal with urges to drink. Because just because you have an urge to drink, number 1, there's nothing wrong with you. That doesn't mean that You're bad or there's anything wrong. Of course, you're gonna have an urge to drink. You've been drinking for a long time.

Ruby [00:01:41]:

Yeah. Exactly.

Susan [00:01:44]:

So we just need to figure out some tools and that's what we're here to share in today's episode is what are our best Tools for handling a craving. So, Ruby, I'm gonna throw it to you to find out your best tool.

Ruby [00:02:00]:

I'm taking notes, girl. Okay. We're gonna take notes and learn from each other too. Okay.

Susan [00:02:05]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:02:05]:

I'm gonna start with the tried and true You know, I think the one that is so important is the acronym HALT, h a l t, and Mhmm. It stands for if the h is hungry or thirsty, a is angry, l is lonely, and t is tired. And When you're drinking, you're just not listening to your body signals, and this is a way that you stop. And when you have a craving and you get super aware and curious. So, we talk about awareness and curiosity, like, over and over. We're gonna talk about it all the time because it's about What? And I put my hands, like, here, or you can't see me, but putting my hands on my body. You can put it anywhere, but it's a way to get into How are you really feeling? What do you really need right now? What is your body telling you? And then address that first. Like, really, like, Am I really hungry? Please just eat something nutritious and see what happens.

Ruby [00:03:14]:

Right? Am I really thirsty? Drink something. Am I angry? Okay. How you can process anger is literally some people angry vacuum or go for a run or walk or you can punch a pillow. If I was angry in the car, I would, you know, pound my fist on my steering wheel. You know, be angry. It's okay to let out that emotion. Lonely is so common. It's just what can you know, where do you need to reach out to a friend? Maybe text a friend.

Ruby [00:03:44]:

Really listen to that. Maybe there's a community you can reach out to. We feel it is an alcohol free community. I'll just say that, but no. And then tired. It's so common. You know what? You can be feeling tired and fatigued after stopping drinking for, like, 6 months to 2 years. It could just hit you.

Ruby [00:04:03]:

So we want you to listen to your real body signals and not just Go, oh, alcohol's gonna solve all these problems. Right? Alcohol's it's it you wanna start really listening within because you have the answers within, and you just Need to practice this. It's like a practice. You're out of practice.

Susan [00:04:24]:

Yeah.

Ruby [00:04:24]:

Right? Yeah. What do you think, Susan? Mhmm.

Susan [00:04:27]:

Absolutely. In fact, once you start to get this awareness, When I work with clients, if they are having urges to drink always at 5 o'clock or 4 o'clock, then maybe you kind of preempt it. So maybe you have a snack at 3:30 or you have a snack at 4. You plan a snack for that time when you know you're gonna have that urge to drink because a protein snack, Like nuts or cheese stick or something like that can really help bring that urge down. Sometimes We think it's an urge to drink, and it's like low blood sugar,

Ruby [00:04:59]:

actually.

Susan [00:04:59]:

So when I'm hungry, I definitely am thirsty, angry. I had a lot of issues with anger because I didn't feel like it was okay to feel angry. And so I was sort of just, like, trying to stuff that away. And so I love just expressing it and feeling it, allowing yourself to feel it, and it's okay. Our body was made to feel all of our emotions. And, of course, tired. Yeah. I mean, I remember reading something that was, like, sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap.

Susan [00:05:27]:

It's like, yes. Right? How are you able to really function when we're tired? And then for loneliness because I know a lot of Us can feel something that we think feels like loneliness, but it's really what I would say. There's another l word that you could also use if you're like, look. I'm not lonely. I'm surrounded by people, and I don't or I don't feel like you know? Because if you're lonely, then What you would do is wanna be with people or, like, call someone or something. And sometimes people are like, I don't feel like calling anyone. You know? I don't know. So maybe it's not lonely. Maybe it's a longing.

Susan [00:06:01]:

So sometimes we just have these longings, in our heart, and we don't know what it is, but it feels like something. It doesn't feel good. We wanna use wine or alcohol to get rid of that feeling because we're always using this tool, alcohol, to change the way we feel and sometimes digging into what that longing is. And is so longing maybe just a different word to kind of plug in there and see, okay, what are my heart's desires? What are these longings that are unfulfilled? Because a lot of times in our drinking life, We are ignoring those longings, and we're just spending so much time drinking, thinking about drinking, and recovering from drinking that we don't even have the time to explore our heart's desires

Ruby [00:06:45]:

and sell Not getting your, like, not getting your needs met is what comes to mind. Like, Yeah. What are your needs? Yeah.

Susan [00:06:53]:

Beyond just physical, but our spiritual or our, yeah, or the desires that we have of what's our purpose? You know what I mean? I got completely I didn't think you know, my husband would say, do you have what are your dreams? I'm like, I don't have any dreams. My dream is to sit here and drink

Ruby [00:07:07]:

Wine and watching Netflix. Alcohol steals our dreams. It steals our dreams.

Susan [00:07:13]:

Yeah. Yeah. And we hear that so much. You know? It keeps us living small. Keeps us from trying new things. It's just yeah. So that's living small. So if you're starting to feel like a longing for something.

Susan [00:07:26]:

Yeah. Bigger. Exploring that. Just sort of like, allowing the longing and asking it. Like, okay. What are you trying to tell me here?

Ruby [00:07:35]:

That's a great question.

Susan [00:07:36]:

It's a little uncomfortable, but it's, but that's the way to go with it, for sure. It's not to drown it with the Sauvignon Blanc.

Ruby [00:07:44]:

Yeah. The only way through an urge is to actually go through it and not just numb it. So what's your next really good, like, Tactic for a circle of mine Yeah.

Susan [00:07:55]:

Would be just that. You have to go through it. So how are you just gonna feel the urge and not act on it. And so I created this process that I call stop, drop, and roll. And I feel like it's an easy thing to remember because that's what we do when we're on fire. Right? Yes. We did that as a kid. Okay.

Susan [00:08:16]:

Stop, drop, and roll. So that's how you can remember it because I used to feel like when I had an urge to drink, it was like it lit a little fire in my brain. Like, I was on fire, and the only way to put the fire out was with wine, drinking lots of wine to put that fire out. And so when I'm feeling that If I'm feeling that urge, that fiery urge, the first thing you do is stop and recognize I'm having an urge to drink, and just allow it and be okay with it. Also, having an urge to drink is not the problem. Mhmm. Problem is when you, you know, when you engage in the behavior of drinking, And that's not even a problem either. It's just that's just behavior.

Susan [00:08:51]:

So but having an urge does not mean there's anything wrong with you, does not mean, oh my gosh. I'm not succeeding in this Alcohol free curiosity, sober curious movement. It's because you have cues in your life And something is triggered or something is triggered in you emotionally. You don't and your desire is to change the way you feel. So there's nothing wrong with you having an urge to drink. It's just a thought. And then it dropped. We drop into our body.

Susan [00:09:22]:

The way to go through an urge is to actually drop in and feel it. So first, stop your stop, recognize it, allow, Then drop into your body and describe to yourself what actually you're feeling in your body, Not in your mind, not all the thoughts that are going, the you know, the chattering monkeys. No. Going into your body. I feel My heart is pounding. I feel a little sweaty. I feel itchy. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin.

Susan [00:09:50]:

I feel tense in my shoulders. I feel my stomach has butterflies. Like, what do you feel actually somatically, like body feelings? And then we just roll with that. We just roll going through our body and describing those feelings and just keep rolling through it until the urge starts to dissipate and subside. And an extra trick for this is sometimes it could feel like the urges take lasting forever. Right? And so just to practice this and no myth of perfection. So, you know, you start practicing this. Maybe you set a timer and go, okay.

Susan [00:10:26]:

I know I can be uncomfortable for 5 minutes. So I'm gonna set the timer for 5 minutes, and I'm gonna stop, drop, and roll for 5 minutes. And when you know when you set the timer, That really helps your mind know, k. It's a set period of time. In your mind, you know you can be uncomfortable for 5 minutes. Right? And It's so I liken this to the Ferber method. There's a Ferber method to help your child fall asleep, and so it's like you're your brain around being able to because when your child is crying, it's really hard to not go to them. Right? But if you set a timer and you go, okay.

Susan [00:11:02]:

I know my child is not gonna die if they cry for 10 minutes. So you set the timer and then you can kinda put it out of your mind. I mean, you can hear the child cry, but you can also be like, okay. I know they're not gonna die, and in 10 minutes, if they're still crying, I'll go into them. So you can do the same thing with your brain and with the urge to drink. You can set a timer knowing, okay. I can do hard things for 5 minutes. I can do be uncomfortable for 10 minutes or 15, and you can increase time, which is exactly what you do with the Ferber method for sleep, and and just practice the stop, drop, and roll during that time that you set I

Ruby [00:11:37]:

love this. I love this. I took down notes, Susan. This is so cool. No. It's very and and the brain on fire Goes with, like, our our the name of this podcast, like, like, lit. Like, we have so many fire and ignite references. It's very cool.

Ruby [00:11:53]:

I would say I love that you start with 5 minutes, but if you actually were to like, the science behind this is most Urges last between 15 and 20 minutes. Like, if you were actually to do so it's really a short period of time.

Susan [00:12:09]:

Like Yeah.

Ruby [00:12:10]:

It's like and then you could start with 5 minutes, or you could go all the way to what can I do, you know, and stop, drop, and roll for 15 minutes or 20 minutes? But It's like yeah. It's like a line between them. Yeah. It's like a surf you know, we'd say surf the urge because it is. It's like a wave that comes, and then it dissipates. So you can picture, like, a wave too. I just wanted to, like, share a story around what it's like, you know, kind of a before and after. Like, before, I knew about any of these kinds of urge tactics and tools, and I was just literally oblivious.

Ruby [00:12:46]:

It was just willy-nilly at the whim of whatever popped into my head. Like, if something popped into my head that said it was always drunk. Like, I wasn't even aware of it. Maybe I was hungry. Maybe I was lonely. Maybe I longed for something. All I know is I would just something would pop into my head or a feeling I'd feel, and the next thing I'd know, I'd have a drink in my hand. And it's just about that gap.

Ruby [00:13:14]:

You know? You wanna, like, have like you said, that that Stop that gap, that pause. You can lengthen it. You can lengthen that pause and start to get curious. And Now it's like, I just noticed the thought, and I don't let the feeling take over. And it's such a different way to move through a craving. And just like Susan said, you can move through it. You can keep rolling through it. I love that.

Ruby [00:13:46]:

I just picture, like, waves of rolling. You just roll through it and allow for it. And instead of just like, I'm not gonna feel any feelings. I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna numb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby [00:13:58]:

What if we're, like, human feelings instead of human beings. You know? We're just here on this planet to feel all the feelings. Every feeling is Just a feeling, and we just get to feel feelings. Yeah. I know. Another one that would pop into my head is boredom. You know? Mhmm. So like, probably, that was one of my big, like, pop boredom.

Ruby [00:14:22]:

I'm bored. Next thing, I have a drink in my hand, like, within minutes. It was so immediate. Yeah. I don't know. But so I created so you created a stop, drop, or roll. I created these and I call them my 4 bucket lists. And if you're a person that, you know, boredom pops into your head and then you wanna drink, creating takes some time.

Ruby [00:14:43]:

Take like, The get out a piece of paper or in your journal and start with 4 headings. They're self care, movement, connection, and then, like, projects and hobbies. And then brainstorm as many things as you can think to put under there. Oh my gosh. Things you've never tried, things that because you drank, you forgot you love to do, or things that you've left off. So if we talk about self care, self care is not just going to the spa or getting a pedicure. Self care is just loving yourself or taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself, and that can be a nap. It can be, there's so many things.

Ruby [00:15:30]:

Maybe we'll share in our Facebook group some more ideas. But Or if

Susan [00:15:34]:

you Let's do that.

Ruby [00:15:35]:

Yeah. Let's do that 1 in this episode. And then also our guide, our weekend wine free weekend guide has 100 ideas on what to do besides drinking. And so That's just one reason why you might wanna get the guide too. So I was talking about self care first. So important. Next is movement. Move your body.

Ruby [00:15:55]:

I'm not saying the word exercise, size if you noticed. For me, exercise is kind of this, like, negative word. I don't know why, but it feels like I have to do exercise. But move move how do you wanna move your body? Maybe it's just stretching or walking or something very gentle. But it can also be running and something very where you sweat and, you know, really feel good. And then connection, it's all I think connection is so important because Did you know the opposite of addiction is connection? So finding a community or calling a friend or you put a long list there, Like, meeting a friend for dinner or maybe joining a church group or another spiritual group. That could be great. Real again, brainstorm tons of ideas.

Ruby [00:16:43]:

Maybe try to get 2020 of each under each of these buckets. And then projects and hobbies. Like, when we're drinking, we might have like, I forgot I used to love to do certain things. I just completely forgot. And I also put on things I always wanted to try. And then projects, maybe when you're drinking, you're laying on the couch like I was, and so There's look. That closet you always wanted to clean out or some sort of project. I don't know.

Ruby [00:17:10]:

It can be really, really fun to do this, and then the next time Your brain says, I'm bored. You just run to your list and pick something. Decide if it's movement or self care or, You know, maybe it's a hobby. So that's my favorite tactic around boredom.

Susan [00:17:28]:

I love that. I love it. I totally took notes, and I, Yeah. I would think yeah. My issue with boredom was that it also was a negative feeling to feel. Like, I was taught that being bored, you know, as a kid is like, if you're bored, I'll give you something to do. You know? Remember? I don't know if your mom

Ruby [00:17:47]:

I remember that. To you.

Susan [00:17:48]:

And you're like, no. No. We're not bored. Bye. You know? Or also my French teacher, and this is, like, stuck with me. This is, like, the power of teachers. Right? She was actually French, And she was like, oh, you're American children. You always say you're bored.

Susan [00:18:03]:

Well, in French, saying you're bored is, which means I bore myself. And so it was always like, oh, yeah. Exactly. If you're bored, that means you're bored. You bore yourself. And so if I would feel bored. It was also, again, a negative feeling that I felt like I didn't wanna be bored, and so I wanted to drink just to get rid of that feeling because it was bad. Right? So there's nothing wrong with feeling bored.

Susan [00:18:28]:

And I remember having some experiences because my alcohol free Journey started in June 2020 during COVID. So talk about being bored. Like, I had to still work. I know a lot of people didn't work, but I was still working. But, You know, on the weekends and stuff, we didn't go anywhere or do anything. And so I had this time just to one I remember going out in the yard and just sort of wandering around, And then I just wandered. And then for 1 minute, I was like, oh, look. There's these flagstone stones under my deck.

Susan [00:19:00]:

That's weird. And I dug them out, and then pretty soon, I'm like, hey. I'm gonna create this little path around my garden. And I just started doing that, and I didn't go out to the yard with the intention of doing that project, but just in my boredom, so to speak, quote, unquote. I just found something to do that made me feel good and was like, oh, good. Look. Accomplish this, you know, or I just start weaving. You know? I'd start going, oh, there's a weed.

Susan [00:19:23]:

There's a weed. Oh, I think I'm gonna move this plant over here. I just sort of just wandered around, and it was So so, yeah, boredom can actually be a form of a kind of what I wanna say, like, soil for new beginnings or something new, like you said, with your projects and hobbies.

Ruby [00:19:40]:

I agree.

Susan [00:19:41]:

Allow yourself the space to kind of allow for something new. Right? So Mhmm. I don't know. That's my 2¢ for whatever reason. Like,

Ruby [00:19:50]:

I was just picturing you walking around your garden, and I love that kind of time where you're not you know, it's not structured time. You know, when you don't have that structured time and you can allow yourself to be bored in a sense, but not in the drink, but be bored and just get curious. What? Be. Yeah. Walk around. Look at the plants and the sunset and that they just be. I love that. Beautiful.

Ruby [00:20:16]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Susan [00:20:18]:

So I just wanna get back to what we said at the beginning again that having the urge to drink is not a problem, but It's the way we think about having the urge. Right? If we have an urge and we're like, oh my gosh. I have an urge to drink. I suck. There's something wrong with me. Oh my gosh. You know what I mean? Like, That just is the judgment from so that's, like, and the 2nd arrow they talk about in Buddhism. Like, we have a thought, and then we judge that thought, which is the 2nd arrow, which makes us feel even worse.

Susan [00:20:46]:

Right? So it's just a thought, and it's one way to think about it in a different way, like, a turnaround for that thought can be, oh, good I mean, in

Ruby [00:20:57]:

a way, goodie. I have

Susan [00:20:58]:

the urge to drink because it's a clue. Okay. This is a clue. It's giving me data of areas in my life where I've given alcohol a job and where I need to figure something else out. So that's a totally different mindset than, oh my gosh. I have an urge to drink. Or good. This is an opportunity for me to practice surfing and urge.

Susan [00:21:18]:

Mhmm. I always wanted to do that. You know what I mean? I always wanted to practice surfing or just the mindset of this is not a problem. The thought is not a problem. It's actually data. So it's something I can investigate. So now I'm gonna put my investigator hat on and go, okay. What's going on in my life right now? What is the feeling I have? What is the thought that I had that is creating this urge? Or what is the cue in my environment? Like, oh, I drove by the liquor store or it's Friday night and I just walked in and you know, I just walked in from the garage door.

Susan [00:21:50]:

Like, you know, if you've had a certain routine in your life, you may think that's a cue, and your brain just goes, oh, it's Friday night. I'm walking in from a long day's work, boom, urge to drink. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means that something in your environment or in your feelings are causing your subconscious to go, this is when we drink. Right?

Ruby [00:22:12]:

Right. So That little voice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes so much sense. And you started on, you know, that thoughts. You know, cravings are just thoughts, and I wanna just expand on that a little bit more because it's such an important concept, and thoughts thoughts are just thoughts.

Ruby [00:22:32]:

And, of course, we're gonna have thoughts. You know? I mean, we mentioned this in a previous episode, but thoughts, there you have, like, 70,000 thoughts in a day, and you're gonna have these thoughts. And if you've been drinking for years and years or decades like I was, like, you're going to still have these thoughts. They're just gonna pop up, and you can put a lot of, you know, energy and charge into them, or you can just see it as, like, with awareness and curiosity. Like, it's just a thought. Doesn't mean I have to act on it. And let it allow. Let it let it go.

Ruby [00:23:08]:

Let it be there. Like, oh, of course, I had that thought because, like you said, it's 5 PM, and I I used to always drink or I just drove by the liquor store. I love those 2 examples also. Just just a thought. And if you cannot let the emotions charge the thought and then, you know, take control, You can just let it go. Allow. I I kind of see it as, like, moving through, I don't know, curtains or something. You just have all these thoughts.

Ruby [00:23:36]:

They come and they go. They come and they go. Yeah. So I hope this was helpful. You know, when I think back to the question. You know, also, I just wanna say one more thing that we see this a lot. Like, you get some traction for, like, a month, and you get alcohol free, and you love it, and you feel better, and then you have a drink. And, again, we just call it a data point in our coaching methodology. It's just a data point to get more data like Susan was saying, and it's okay.

Ruby [00:24:08]:

It happens, but it's a real Arrow. It's an arrow pointing right to what you need to work on or where you need to maybe dig in a little further. I would love to do another episode on this, Susan. So we're like we have so many ideas. You guys, this is gonna be an amazing podcast. Yeah. We're just getting started, but we have so many things we wanna do.

Susan [00:24:28]:

Yeah. I do feel like if people listen to our podcast, then we are giving them tools. We are giving you listeners tools that you can use to help strengthen your journey. And so we would love to hear from you what tools, like, are standing out for you, what things you've tried. We'd love for you to join our Facebook group so that we can share more, and what you're sharing helps another person, and we all are just helping ourselves, helping each other. Sorry. Not ourselves. Helping each other climb these mountains.

Susan [00:24:57]:

Right? And speaking of our Facebook group, Today in the part of our podcast where we talk about what we are doing today to feel lit, I am somebody who Put something in our Facebook group that we're gonna share. One of our real listeners so that you're hearing this. This is from somebody that's in our group, and her name is Sarah, and she's given us permission to share this, and I just love this so much. So I'm gonna read what She said because I put the post out there, what do you do to feel it? And she says, my soul is feeling lit each and every day in this journey. The peace I feel has reignited my inner spark, and I feel a deep sense of joy that was dulled out when I was drinking. My newest hobby, partner dancing, is something I've always wanted to learn, and now I actually am. Oh my gosh. I just love that so much.

Ruby [00:25:56]:

Oh my gosh. I love it too. And I was one of Sarah's coaches, and so it's just so overwhelming and gives me such, like, a deep sense of gratitude and joy to know that Sarah is living an alcohol free lifestyle and feeling lit, and I actually we actually we talked about this. We See this all the time with our clients. Like, your life can transform. Like, like, transform in such a beautiful, amazing way by eliminating one thing, alcohol. One thing. Mhmm.

Ruby [00:26:35]:

And it's not even about just eliminating the one thing. It's about discovering who you really are and maybe finding that passion that you've lost. You know, fulfilling life. I just thank you, Sarah, for giving us, you know, the yeah. Because that's such a we just were talking about this is one of our favorite quotes because and think about it. You know, if you go back to what I was talking about, like, the bucket looks like new hobbies, she's doing something new. She's never done this before, and how fun. And I love dancing.

Ruby [00:27:08]:

So, Susan, if you were to just ask me, like, what am I doing? I wanted to actually, Based on Sarah's I love dancing. In fact, just about a half an hour ago, I was in the bathroom. My Regular shower ended with a cold shower. Was feeling all jazz, so I turned on some favorite music right in the bathroom. And right now, I'd love to, like, do something different. It's that, you know, Irish Irish music when I went to Ireland. So it was like this Irish jig, And I'm jigging along. If you can watch the video on YouTube of our podcast, I'm like, we're gonna I'm not dancing. And then I just love to dance.

Ruby [00:27:49]:

I used to take dance classes all through my life and even in college. And now what I do this is kinda maybe something that might be more Sebastopol. So Sebastopol's kind of this Hippy dippy can be known as, like, like, that kind of a community. And we have, like I was talking to Susan. I'm like, we have, like, 4 different ecstatic dances a week. Like, it's a thing. So ecstatic dance is where you go into a room, there's no drinking, it's always sober. That's another reason why I love it.

Ruby [00:28:25]:

So there's not no yeah. It's just you go, and it's usually a darkened room. Not dark, dark, but, like, Lights are low, and there's a DJ. And the DJ plays whatever they're gonna play, but super cool music. And, you don't touch people really. Everybody just dances, and you get into your own space. And at first, it felt kinda nervous. I had to, like, Play big, step outside of my comfort zone, and it felt awkward, like, dancing by myself but with all these people.

Ruby [00:28:57]:

But it's a sense of community and freedom and body movement. It's really fun. So Oh, fun. Fun. Yeah. Yeah. Ecstatic dance. Give it a try.

Susan [00:29:07]:

I don't feel like I'm a good dancer. And that was one of the things. Like, when I did musical theater, I was a good actress and a good singer, but I felt like I was not a great dancer. So I wasn't a triple threat, and I feel like that kind of held me back sometimes because I'm just kind of an awkward dancer. I'm a little stiff, but I did try ecstatic dancing once on a retreat, the Sober retreat I went to in Spain but we were blindfolded. We all had blindfolds, so we couldn't see each other. So you didn't have that comparison of, like, do I look like a weirdo or whatever? And then they played all these different kinds of music, and you were supposed to just sort of move your body basically wanting to move with that music. I found that pretty simple. I kinda got out there. I did I'm sure it didn't look good.

Ruby [00:29:59]:

How did you guys not bump, how did you guys not bump into each other?

Susan [00:30:03]:

No. And you could still have your peripheral vision a little bit with a blindfold. And so and it wasn't that many people in the group, but, yeah, you could still you can actually it's interesting. You can feel it when you move into somebody else's space. So Yeah. We kind of had our little, like, sections of the room that we were in, and there was enough space to not bump into each other. But, yeah, being blindfolded was helpful for me.

Ruby [00:30:27]:

Yeah. It's not about comparison. It's just how your body wanna move to the music. And some ecstatic dance, it's almost like a class, like, start with slow and then build up to where you're just like, Like, rocking out, and some are more mellow. It's about the DJ. It's so cool. The DJs or they might mix different fun old time music to New music is super cool. Give it a try, though.

Ruby [00:30:52]:

Give it a try.

Ruby [00:30:54]:

Okay. Come visit me, and we'll do an ecstatic dance.

Susan [00:30:57]:

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's Time to say goodbye. This is actually probably one of our longer episodes, but we had so much to share. And we would love to hear from you. We'd love for you to join our feel it Facebook community and let us know what helps you feel it, and we would love to feature you on one of our future episodes. So I hope you can jump over there and grab some of our free resources, and join our community because I think we're having a really good time. Well, at least I am.

Ruby [00:31:26]:

I am too.

Susan [00:31:27]:

Yay. So see you next time. Bye. Bye.Coach Ruby [00:26:40]:

Bye. Thanks so much for listening to the FEEL LIT alcohol free podcast. Do you have a question you'd like us to answer on the show?

Susan [00:26:50]:

All you need to do is head over to Apple Podcasts and do 2 simple things. Leave a rating and review telling us what you think of the show. And in that review, ask us Any questions you have about breaking free from wine or living an alcohol free lifestyle. That's it. Then Tune in to hear your question answered live. Don't forget to grab your copy of a wine free weekend at wwwfeelitpodcast.com, and remember, do something today that will help you feel lit. See you next time.